If women like confident men, then why do we get rejected so much?

[Droz88]

2 weeks ago I made a bunch of approaches and got a bunch of numbers. All but 1 flaked on me and still seeing her (18 year old, hot, virgin). I took the next week off because the high from making all those approaches kept me in kind of a good mood. This week I started again and decided that I would try cold approaches on the street and so far it's just been 2 approaches today.

1st one...was walking through a parking lot and passed her but I wussed out initially. Then I got my balls and went back and talked to her. Holy **** she looked really scared and uncomfortable. All I did was say hi and that she looked beautiful and I wanted to introduce myself. We exchanged names and then she basically ran to her car. I lol'd but at the same time felt like I must of been a creep about it or something?

2nd one...just walking on the sidewalk and saw her sitting in the grass. Said the same things as I did to the first one. We exchanged names and then she told me "have a nice day". To which I replied "oh so you're telling me to leave?" She said well she had to make a phone call and I said ok that's fine and left.

After all my approaches last week I was starting to feel comfortable but man after only 1 week of no approaches I am rusty and nervous all over again but at least I know now that comfort does come with practice.

So I got to thinking...why do confident men have to resort to reasoning like "it's a numbers game, you'll get rejected a lot"? If I dress good, am tall, good physical shape, and have the balls to cold approach good looking women then shouldn't I theoretically not get rejected and flaked out on so much? Like if a man with these traits can expect to only get laid by 1/25-1/100 approaches then what are the odds for an AFC? Like 1/200? Or is it much lower like 1/3 since an AFC won't really approach but will wait until they meet someone through mutual friends or something?

 

[Renegade357]

What's your goal man?

These chicks don't know anything about you and vice versa. They could have boyfriends, husbands, ect.. They could be uncomfortable with you. Lots of variables. You're playing a pure numbers game with a low percentage chance of success regardless of the fact that you have a good set of tools to work with.

 

[Droz88]

Do you know anyone who is not that good looking or rich but still attracts very hot women? There's nothing left but confidence and personality/game for women to like in those cases.

So in other words the guys who will get laid by 1/25-1/100 of their approaches are not truly confident and have great personalities?

 

[Droz88]

What's your goal man?

These chicks don't know anything about you and vice versa. They could have boyfriends, husbands, ect.. They could be uncomfortable with you. Lots of variables. You're playing a pure numbers game with a low percentage chance of success regardless of the fact that you have a good set of tools to work with.

Been told by a few older males that if they could go back to their 20's and 30's they would screw as many women as possible because that's what these years are for. My goal is to develope the skill to bed a hot woman in a relatively short time if so choose to.

So you say this is a pure numbers game regardless? I want to agree with you but there is all this material telling you that women get wet for confident, sexy, well dressed men and yet I don't see it. I feel like an alpha male who is getting AFC results.

 

[omega05]

What's your goal man?

These chicks don't know anything about you and vice versa. They could have boyfriends, husbands, ect.. They could be uncomfortable with you. Lots of variables. You're playing a pure numbers game with a low percentage chance of success regardless of the fact that you have a good set of tools to work with.

exactly. I think cold approaching was all i did in high school and college. Sure i was able to get numbers and even see 1 or 2 but i never got a date/relationship outta it. Now im 25, dress better, have a career, car, (not my own place yet) and it's like I just cant see myself cold approaching on the street anymore.

 

[DonJuanabe]

A cold approach shouldn't be canned with "you're beautiful". As a complete stranger you need to somehow come across as funny and entertaining.

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo here to shed some light!

With Post # 2,200!!!

The only way women like a man who's confident is if he's got lots of good looks or lots of money. Confidence, game and personality don't make you any more physically or financially attractive. Those are two dimensions that women are most attracted to. Most of the time, if you're unattractive, a woman will label everything you say and do as such.

There are lots of surveys in magazines that talk about what women want most in a man. They rank confidence, personality, swagger, voice, and style of dress up high usually. What these surveys DON'T TELL YOU is that this applies after the man is physically or financially attractive enough!
I've seen a woman get wet for a confident man, after seeing his Rolls Royce Convertible! But she dried up for the one in the Nissan Altima.

This is why women make men wait for sex, and flake a lot. With all the options and attention women get on a daily basis, and the media helping them out, women think that they're entitled to a top 10% man, and the other 90 is in the friendzone or gay. This is why there's a lot of "Golden Vaginas and Princesses". Most men won't flake on a date, nor will they deny sex. Sadly, the decision of sex happening and when you become her boyfriend is always the woman's.

Oh yeah, why do most men get rejected so much. Easy answer. All women have lots of options, and most men are using this PUA sh*t/ googling how to attract women/ reading books on the subject, and a lot of other stuff. Most men don't have the choosing power women have in the dating game.

Women know what they want.

Case closed.

 

[marmel75]

Bro, we don't get rejected, we simply find out if the woman has good taste...

 

[ArcBound]

Judge nismo here to shed some light!

With Post # 2,200!!!

The only way women like a man who's confident is if he's got lots of good looks or lots of money. Confidence, game and personality don't make you any more physically or financially attractive. Those are two dimensions that women are most attracted to. Most of the time, if you're unattractive, a woman will label everything you say and do as such.

There are lots of surveys in magazines that talk about what women want most in a man. They rank confidence, personality, swagger, voice, and style of dress up high usually. What these surveys DON'T TELL YOU is that this applies after the man is physically or financially attractive enough!
I've seen a woman get wet for a confident man, after seeing his Rolls Royce Convertible! But she dried up for the one in the Nissan Altima.

This is why women make men wait for sex, and flake a lot. With all the options and attention women get on a daily basis, and the media helping them out, women think that they're entitled to a top 10% man, and the other 90 is in the friendzone or gay. This is why there's a lot of "Golden Vaginas and Princesses". Most men won't flake on a date, nor will they deny sex. Sadly, the decision of sex happening and when you become her boyfriend is always the woman's.

Oh yeah, why do most men get rejected so much. Easy answer. All women have lots of options, and most men are using this PUA sh*t/ googling how to attract women/ reading books on the subject, and a lot of other stuff. Most men don't have the choosing power women have in the dating game.

Women know what they want.

Case closed.

Bingo. That financial and physical attraction you describe is what I call "value". Game and to some extent confidence don't build value but are more like a multiplier. Definitely great to have, but if you don't have enough value in the first place via things like career, looks/body, fame, social standing and so on then you are simply like a good car salesman selling a sh!tty car. You don't just want to be a good car salesman, you want to be selling a BMW instead of a Toyota.

 

[Droz88]

Judge nismo here to shed some light!

With Post # 2,200!!!

The only way women like a man who's confident is if he's got lots of good looks or lots of money. Confidence, game and personality don't make you any more physically or financially attractive. Those are two dimensions that women are most attracted to. Most of the time, if you're unattractive, a woman will label everything you say and do as such.

There are lots of surveys in magazines that talk about what women want most in a man. They rank confidence, personality, swagger, voice, and style of dress up high usually. What these surveys DON'T TELL YOU is that this applies after the man is physically or financially attractive enough!
I've seen a woman get wet for a confident man, after seeing his Rolls Royce Convertible! But she dried up for the one in the Nissan Altima.

This is why women make men wait for sex, and flake a lot. With all the options and attention women get on a daily basis, and the media helping them out, women think that they're entitled to a top 10% man, and the other 90 is in the friendzone or gay. This is why there's a lot of "Golden Vaginas and Princesses". Most men won't flake on a date, nor will they deny sex. Sadly, the decision of sex happening and when you become her boyfriend is always the woman's.

Oh yeah, why do most men get rejected so much. Easy answer. All women have lots of options, and most men are using this PUA sh*t/ googling how to attract women/ reading books on the subject, and a lot of other stuff. Most men don't have the choosing power women have in the dating game.

Women know what they want.

Case closed.

This is all totally against all the material i've read on picking up women. The only recurring theme in those books is that you need confidence and sexuality and women will be magetically drawn to you. Having money but being an AFC means they might just use you for your money while they are screwing some alpha guy behind your back. Then there's all this heresay about seeing hot women dating unattractive men who aren't necessarily rich.

There have been a few threads that I've read started by men who claim to be attractive but still can't get laid. I consider myself to be good looking and it been about 4 years without getting sex from the type of girl I am actually attracted to. Then when I posted here and read material I was told that that physical attraction only makes up about 20% and the rest is your personality and confidence. Nowhere was I told that you need money or to be even MORE physically attractive. Man everything you wrote is just not sitting well with me.

And regarding all the guys reading this PUA material...I'll bet that no more than 5% of them actually take it to heart, stick with it, and apply what they learn...most probably don't change their ways and the way they talk to women.

 

[st_99]

its simple. girls that you want to fvck are flaky because of competition, thats it. Too many guys, chasing after that girl.
That is it in a nutshell, no ifs ands or buts about it.

So is it hopeless? Not at all, you're on the right path, you're trying, basically once you refine your skills (game) and yourself over time, you'll do fine because you'll stand out above 8 of 10 of the other guys. It could take years though.

 

[yuppaz]

I didn't read that whole wall of text. I read your headline... women do like GENUINLY confident men who are themselves. If you are puffing yourself up to approach you are putting on a mask and it's obvious to them you aren't REALLY who you are appearing to be. That's ok though to start, make your goal in approaching being more comfortable being yourself with strangers / hotties. Then you are confident AND congruent.

BOOM

 

[TonyBaloney]

Judge nismo here to shed some light!

With Post # 2,200!!!

The only way women like a man who's confident is if he's got lots of good looks or lots of money. Confidence, game and personality don't make you any more physically or financially attractive. Those are two dimensions that women are most attracted to. Most of the time, if you're unattractive, a woman will label everything you say and do as such.

There are lots of surveys in magazines that talk about what women want most in a man. They rank confidence, personality, swagger, voice, and style of dress up high usually. What these surveys DON'T TELL YOU is that this applies after the man is physically or financially attractive enough!
I've seen a woman get wet for a confident man, after seeing his Rolls Royce Convertible! But she dried up for the one in the Nissan Altima.

This is why women make men wait for sex, and flake a lot. With all the options and attention women get on a daily basis, and the media helping them out, women think that they're entitled to a top 10% man, and the other 90 is in the friendzone or gay. This is why there's a lot of "Golden Vaginas and Princesses". Most men won't flake on a date, nor will they deny sex. Sadly, the decision of sex happening and when you become her boyfriend is always the woman's.

Oh yeah, why do most men get rejected so much. Easy answer. All women have lots of options, and most men are using this PUA sh*t/ googling how to attract women/ reading books on the subject, and a lot of other stuff. Most men don't have the choosing power women have in the dating game.

Women know what they want.

Case closed.

You really do a dis service to the one element that you no nothing about - the sex appeal of the man to the woman.............


This is where your whole THEORY falls down flat. Ive said it before, and I'll say it again, your an amusing read, a great concept you have here, but you lack real experience.

Again I am sorry, Nemo, but you keep spitting this garbage out, some of the boys will turn gay, some will jump off a bridge and some will pay no attention, go out there, and pull women.

Im no oil painting, have mostly been poor (had loadsa success when poor) and have had diabolical misfortune in many areas of my life BUT i always wanted poon, and I sure as hell always GOT poon

 

[JohnChops]

I didn't read that whole wall of text. I read your headline... women do like GENUINLY confident men who are themselves. If you are puffing yourself up to approach you are putting on a mask and it's obvious to them you aren't REALLY who you are appearing to be. That's ok though to start, make your goal in approaching being more comfortable being yourself with strangers / hotties. Then you are confident AND congruent.

BOOM

Yes sir this 100%

 

[Trump]

So I got to thinking...why do confident men have to resort to reasoning like "it's a numbers game, you'll get rejected a lot"? If I dress good, am tall, good physical shape, and have the balls to cold approach good looking women then shouldn't I theoretically not get rejected and flaked out on so much? Like if a man with these traits can expect to only get laid by 1/25-1/100 approaches then what are the odds for an AFC? Like 1/200? Or is it much lower like 1/3 since an AFC won't really approach but will wait until they meet someone through mutual friends or something?

It doesn't matter if you think you are confident, if matters if she feels you are confident. You are making the common mistake of a lot of guys on here..."well I'm confident, she should have sex with me, well I'm rich, she should have sex with me, well I have six pack...etc, etc, etc. Things done to improve yourself does not mean a girl will sleep with you. It's not a business transaction or a cause and effect situation.

You are not getting rejected because you don't have a zillion dollars or a nice car or six pack, you are getting rejected because you haven't sold yourself properly to her, she doesn't feel the connection with you. Her feelings about you are 100 times more important than anything coming out of your mouth or any material possessions you have.

As said above, some people have no money and are not the best looking, yet are getting all the action with the hot girls? Why? Because the girl bought what they were selling. The girl felt a connection, an importance, a proof that the guy was worth giving up their body for. The guy could have lied his ass off, the girl bought it, the guy could have told the truth, the girl bought it. It doesn't matter, just as long as she buys it. It's like court, it's not what you know, it's what you can prove.

Another problem you are having is you are not yourself when picking up women. It's like you are picking them up for us to believe you can score or to prove to a third party you are important. Never works that way, you have to pick up a grl because you like her, not to prove something to us or someone else.

 

[muscleman]

No no no. Your approach game is just loose. You need to tighten it up. You're nervous, you're second guessing yourself (that's why she thought you were creepy), etc. How many approaches have you actually done? I guarantee you if you approach 100 girls, by the time you hit 101 your approach game will be TIGHT. I've been in your shoes, you just need to do more so you get better.

It's always a numbers game, but as you get better your conversion % skyrockets. If I'm on a date with a girl now, I have something like a 90% chance of ****ing her. A few years ago it was below 50%.

Practice makes perfect, never forget that.

 

[Boilermaker]

Judge nismo here to shed some light!

With Post # 2,200!!!

The only way women like a man who's confident is if he's got lots of good looks or lots of money. Confidence, game and personality don't make you any more physically or financially attractive. Those are two dimensions that women are most attracted to. Most of the time, if you're unattractive, a woman will label everything you say and do as such.

There are lots of surveys in magazines that talk about what women want most in a man. They rank confidence, personality, swagger, voice, and style of dress up high usually. What these surveys DON'T TELL YOU is that this applies after the man is physically or financially attractive enough!
I've seen a woman get wet for a confident man, after seeing his Rolls Royce Convertible! But she dried up for the one in the Nissan Altima.

This is why women make men wait for sex, and flake a lot. With all the options and attention women get on a daily basis, and the media helping them out, women think that they're entitled to a top 10% man, and the other 90 is in the friendzone or gay. This is why there's a lot of "Golden Vaginas and Princesses". Most men won't flake on a date, nor will they deny sex. Sadly, the decision of sex happening and when you become her boyfriend is always the woman's.

Oh yeah, why do most men get rejected so much. Easy answer. All women have lots of options, and most men are using this PUA sh*t/ googling how to attract women/ reading books on the subject, and a lot of other stuff. Most men don't have the choosing power women have in the dating game.

Women know what they want.

Case closed.

2200 posts and you still don't get it. This is utter crap, disorganized and mostly incorrect...

First of all, who says we get rejected so much? I am not even convinced by that. We chase the prettiest, skinniest, sexiest, blondest HB7-8-9-10 and we complain we get rejected much?

We know what we want as well. We are interested to fvck, only a small population of available females.

First, let's talk about our rejection rate, if it is more than what would be statistically expected, then we can argue how far confidence etc.. takes us.

Nizmo's garbage? Forget about it.

 

[OldbutSTRONG]

Again I am sorry, Nemo, but you keep spitting this garbage out, some of the boys will turn gay, some will jump off a bridge and some will pay no attention, go out there, and pull women.

Im no oil painting, have mostly been poor (had loadsa success when poor) and have had diabolical misfortune in many areas of my life BUT i always wanted poon, and I sure as hell always GOT poon

No, Nismo is correct. Anyone can do some pump and dump. Staying in a longer relationship that's at least a few months? Takes some cash man.

It's so amusing to read about guys getting a lot of poon by being poor. You know what? They are probably glad to be rid of you later because you can't afford to eat out at regular restaurants. I think TLC had a song. It was called 'Scrubs'.

Everybody, don't just work on your game. Work on a career too. It will attract the ladies but also who wants to never have other life experiences which only money can buy i.e. seeing the world, having a nice place to live, going to concerts, sports, etc etc

Stop living paycheck to paycheck!

 

[Scars]

Because a woman who is married to a rich man won't ever sleep with the pool boy right?

At the end of the day, woman run off of emotions.

Getting with a rich guy = logical
Being faithful to said rich guy = logical

..woman are not logical.

We've all heard horror stories of rich men getting screwed by hot woman and taking half their money. Then they go and run with the loser that they're truly "in love" with.

-Scars

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Up to this point, very few people have commented on your actual approaching technique. Bottom line: it's not coming across as very confident, which is why you're not getting the results you want.

Let's look at what you wrote, shall we?

1st one...was walking through a parking lot and passed her but I wussed out initially. Then I got my balls and went back and talked to her. Holy **** she looked really scared and uncomfortable. All I did was say hi and that she looked beautiful and I wanted to introduce myself. We exchanged names and then she basically ran to her car. I lol'd but at the same time felt like I must of been a creep about it or something?

2nd one...just walking on the sidewalk and saw her sitting in the grass. Said the same things as I did to the first one. We exchanged names and then she told me "have a nice day". To which I replied "oh so you're telling me to leave?" She said well she had to make a phone call and I said ok that's fine and left.

In the first approach, you passed her and didn't say anything, then went back around. In effect, you circled her like a vulture, which makes women feel creeped out. If you were going to say anything to her, it should have been on the first go 'round.

In the second approach, you made small talk and got her name; then she said "have a nice day," which was her nice girl way of hinting to you that she wasn't interested.

In BOTH cases, the approach was (a) too direct and (b) too weak.

For (a), you went right up to them and said "hey, I'm so-and-so," an approach more likely to get you shot down. Unless you already know them, this approach feels too forceful. You need to make up a reason to talk to them so THEY won't be so weirded out. Something like:

"Excuse me, but I'm trying to get to ____, and I'm lost, which way is it?"

Doesn't matter if you're not lost, it's a conversation starter. Plus, if she likes you, she'll say "oh, it's over there - here, let me show you." Now you KNOW she wants to talk to you.

As for (b), you calling them beautiful makes it sound like you're sucking up to them, which they haven't earned. No need to compliment them until you've had a conversation with them for a bit, which will only happen if you approach them the right way - see (a) again.

If they do agree to converse with you, talk for a little bit, get them laughing and smiling, then tell them you have to be some where but would like to talk to them some other time. Then get their phone number and GET OUT OF THERE.

Hopefully this helps, and you should see better results! :rockon: