If we don't tolerate hot/cold girls, then why do we expect them to go crazy over it?

[Fela Kuti]

Hi,

Just an observation I made. We know that one of the DJ "rules" is to do some kind of push/pull behavior. Give a woman attention one day, then act indifferent the next day (this is just a generalization, real situations may vary). But when chicks do this thing to us, we accuse them of being hot/cold or playing games. And then we lose interest and next them. So, what if some girls think the same as we do?

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Girls think differently..

When a girl thinks a guy is losing interest in them, they think...
"Why isn't he talking to me anymore? is he mad? did I do something wrong? I need to figure out how to get his attention."

When a guy thinks a girl is losing interest in him, they think...
"All right, she's playing hot/cold. Whatever, she'll come running back. (Calls up another plate).

 

[Aaron B]

In my experience, many of the games women play are things they respond to when we do those things to them.

I say give the people what they want. If she responds to it and it allows both of you to experience what you want (sex and maybe eventually a relationship), why question it?

If she responds to push/pull, she is communicating to you through her actions that this is how she wants to be treated. Regardless of what she verbally says about it.

Her only vote is that she chooses who to spend her time with, and if she chooses to spend it with the push/pull guy instead of the guys who only pull, obviously she has a reason for choosing the push/pull guy.

I think this ties in with women responding powerfully to men who provide them with a broad range of emotions. The guys who only pull and never push are providing her with a more narrow range of emotions.

You aren't responsible for protecting her from herself. Women have equality in our society and with that comes the responsibility of accepting the consequences for their actions.

Also I don't agree that women running hot and cold causes us to lose interest in them. In fact, may times it causes us to focus on them more than the other chicks. We frequently see threads started by guys with one-itis who want to know how to get this particular chick who was interested highly in the beginning but has now gone cold on him.

Its a big reason this site exists because human nature is to continue to chase in that scenario and pretty soon we're leaving 10 voicemails a day and she won't have anything to do with us. It doesn't come natural to most of us to just move on in that scenario. Its one of the many things we need to learn in order to effectively deal with women with respect to dating and relationships.

 

[st_99]

Aaron_B has it exactly right. Figure out what works and do it, don't question it, don't hate it, don't try to figure it out, just do it and be a success.

 

[Mr. Fantastic]

Hi,

Hello.

Just an observation I made. We know that one of the DJ "rules" is to do some kind of push/pull behavior. Give a woman attention one day, then act indifferent the next day.

Be careful when you say and think the word "we". This site is just a collection of individuals who seek to improve their lives. If you come here to be associated with these anonymous Don Juan's. You will be chained to this site forever. Shouldn't your goal be to leave these training wheels behind and get on with a better life? Isn't that the point of all this?

Wait and where have these "rules" come from? The dating process is supposed to be fun and you are clogging it up with silly rules. The whole idea behind the push/ pull theory is reaction. You are thinking rather than being. It is a theory formed by analyzing typical jerk behavior and mimicking it.

Nice Guy: "See how the jerk treats her! He is ignoring her one moment, and the next giving her attention! We must come up with a philosophy to mimic this behavior! That is how we will get the women!"

Mr. Fantastic: "Oh nice guy will you never understand? The jerk has a life. He does not spend countless hours thinking about how he can get women. He has more pressing issues on his mind. He spends his time how he wants and the women are not the center of his universe. While you think he is ignoring her, he is actually spending his time doing other things. You see nice guy, the whole problem with your context is that you are focusing your life on women. This is truly the loser mentality."

The best thing that you can take away from this site is realizing that women don't have to be the center of your world. That you can choose to focus your life to anything you want. Most men default to thinking that not having a woman in there life is wrong and that they must do anything to get one, and if they don't have one then they must be a loser. How absurd is this line of thinking? With this mindset, happiness relies on having an outside source. It is similar to a drug addiction, with feminine attention being the drug (not sex). Why not just stick a needle in your vein? At least that way you won't be absurd.

I am not saying being single is the way to go. What I am saying is you cannot be happy with someone if you cannot be happy being single. Be happy with yourself first and all your problems will disappear and the world will appear to be fine. Fix your inner world and there will be no need to change the outer world.


Once you control your thoughts you will control your life.

But when chicks do this thing to us, we accuse them of being hot/cold or playing games. And then we lose interest and next them. So, what if some girls think the same as we do?

That is because they are playing games. They do this to weed out the fake men. The guys who go around mimicking behavior instead of being real men. The thought process behind the nice guy is he is looking at relationships as if he were a woman. A woman's sole purpose in life is union, whether for sex, children, or some other reason. They cannot be happy without some form of union, while men on the other hand can. This is where that whole "if you have no social life, you have no life idea" comes from. It is a form of self-projection where they project themselves onto others. If you ever want to see how other people think about themselves, watch how they condemn others.