If ur sexually experienced or active, read this!

[Yman]

Hey, heres my situation: I used to be pretty bad when it came to attracting women, i was doing everything wrong. Then one day i decieded to change that so i read everything i could on this site and every book i could find. So now i doing pretty good. But heres the problem: I'm still a virgin (i'm 21), which shocks the women big time cuz i come across as a "ladies man", thanks to all the stuff i learned. And the ones that do find out this dont want to sleep with me. But the ones that dont find out this (usaully because they dont ask me how many women i've been with, i'm honest) want to have sex with me. but when it comes time for sex i cant keep my **** hard. i know its not a physical probem, because it can get hard, so it must be more of a mental problem. i was raised pretty conservatively and most of these situations accure on the first or second date. So how do i overcome this? i was thinking that i should just get a girl friend, u know take it slow, not have sex (or try) til where in a commited relationship. but then i might lose my attration edge that i worked so hard to develope and if she does find out i'm a virgin may not want to be my girlfriend and break up with me. i know i cant be the only guy out there dealing with this, so if u've had this happen to u please get back to me on how to overcome this. cuz its driving me crazy.


Thanks
Guy who needs a Miss Roberson

 

[thejuice]

This is easy to answer. The problem is that youre worried about the fact that youre a virgin. When youre going to have sex with a girl, you start thinking about all of those situations where girls found out that you were a virgin and freaked out. Then, you freak out because you let the other girls reasoning get to your head -"maybe they dont want to have sex with me because im a virgin and we all know virgins dont know what they are doing".

First of all, get over it or youll be a virgin forever because everytime youre about to have sex, your lil' balloon will get scared and hide away. Thats no good because its whats hindering you man. Second of all, actually theres no second, just that first of all so pay attention to it

So this is what youre going to do next time youre with a girl...dont think too much. Get into the heat of the moment and stop thinking about anything except having a little fun

 

[Trapspringer]

Juice is right.

It is completely normal for inexperienced as well as experienced men to have this probably. It has to do with anxiety.

What if it won't get hard?

What if I release to fast?


What if I am not satisfying?


I was able to get through that period by not concentrating on sex. Just brainwash yourself into thinking that when a girl comes over, you will only do foreplay and nothing else. This will help alleviate the anxiety. Do as much as you can without going to actual intercourse. You will soon began to notice that problem will leave. You may have time when it gets rock hard only to go limp once you are in. Don't put pressure on yourself to perform. Just try to have fun. Any sort of counselor on these matters will tell you that every man experiences it and usually overcome it so don't worry about it.


I actually had no problems with an erection my first and second time having sex because since the first time, I had no idea I was going to have sex. It was something that just happened while I was fooling around with a girl from my highschool. WE were kissing then the next thing you know, we were naked and fvcking. It seemed to happen all at once. So the second time we did it, there was no problem besides me releasing too soon but that is fixed with practice also.

But it wasn't so easy with the next girl. She was fine and sexy with a large sexual appetite, She put so much pressure on me to screw her all of the time that I couldn't get it up to it's full potential for the first five or so attempts. What made it even tougher, she kept talking about how horrible at sex her last boyfriend was.

Once she even said, "Trap, the next time I suggest that we have sex, slap me." Well she suggested sex again that very night and I was so attempted to slap her...slap her right on that @ss! So eventually I learned to control and hold my release and to have good foreplay before the sex. It all helps. Don't worry about it. We have all been to this stage and we would not have made it this far unless there were chicks who were patient/horny enough to give us the practice.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by thejuice
This is easy to answer. , your lil' balloon will get scared and hide away. Thats no good because its whats hindering you man. Second of all, actually theres no second, just that first of all so pay attention to it

We need more humor like this on this board!!!!!! Way to put it JUICE!!!

 

[Scought]

Similar situations

While I am not experienced enough to say I've gone 'limp" what I can relate with is the pressure women can put on a man before sex.
I am seeing a girl now, who said she slept with a guy because, and this is a quote, "he was a good fvck."

Ive only had sex with two women, and not really sure I have the basics down. SO when a women says something like that I feel like not having sex, cause if I'm bad its over.

Also she said earlier at some other time we were hangin out, "size definitly matters."

So, now im thinking i have to have a 9 inch schlong and must be amazing in bed, or I am going to bore her, or make her laugh. That kind of pressure really takes a way from the fun, of the situation and it makes me feel like I need to be ron Jerramy or something.

For some reason she has me thinking about it way too much.

I also like how girls will tell you that they like you alot, thats why they are not rushing things.

I hate it.

So, I think Im going to have to just get over myself and sleep with her when the time comes, and not care if i meet her every need and just do it to practice and become a better lover.

Usually I want the girl to feel just as good, but with this girl placing pressure on me, im just going to sacrifice what she may say about me, and learn how to be a better lover with what i have.

Practice is how you get better.

 

[Roots]

Practice is the key, but I have an option that would really benefit you in my opinion.

The only thing that you have a problem with right now is getting over that first hill. Once you are over it, and going steady, you'll be surprised how much progress you could make in so little time.

You obviously have psychological pressure on you because you think you're 21, still a virgin, and you expect girls to be disappointed. You basically fulfill your crude fantasy.

Heres the solution: Get yourself to a doctor, tell the doctor "Hey, I'm having problems getting it up. Can you perscribe me Viagra?" Next time you know you're gonna have sex, take half of a pill, and trust me, there is no way in hell you won't get it up. Once that night is over, and you do it a few more times with the pill, you'll get more practice and more accustomed to it. After that, you can stop the pills and go off on your own.

Viagra will give you a nice big boost when you need it. Its safe, it works, and its not hard to get. Its just expensive. Trust me, if that first hill is giving you trouble... bust out the steamroller.

 

[Homeslice]

Originally posted by Roots
Heres the solution: Get yourself to a doctor, tell the doctor "Hey, I'm having problems getting it up. Can you perscribe me Viagra?" Next time you know you're gonna have sex, take half of a pill, and trust me, there is no way in hell you won't get it up. Once that night is over, and you do it a few more times with the pill, you'll get more practice and more accustomed to it. After that, you can stop the pills and go off on your own.

You read my mind, I had the EXACT same problem this weekend, I'm a V at 18, and I'm going to do the same thing. Don't worry about it, just about every girl I've talked to said its happened with dudes they've known who go for the first time.

 

[Trance]

My first 2 times, when i put the condom i just got turned down, and didnt make it.. I was also very nervous, cause i wanted it for a few months, and all of a sudden she surprised me offering me a small gift (a condom), so i got kinda "this is it", and i got real nervous about being able to respond to her expectations.

Then we just started making out preliminaries for more time, and i lost my nervous, and things just went natural..
Now after 6 years of sexual experience, i can even insert it inside when its not hard (like after making 3 times when u're tired), cause i know how to put it wet enough, and how to give a small push with the hand. Its just experience.

 

[Yman]

Thanks for all the advice! What do u guys think of ordering one of those sex videos that teach u how to prefrom better, think those can help?

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Definitely performance anxiety.

The way I circumvented this was by studying every possible way to make a girl orgasm. I figured that way if the time came and I couldn't 'rise to the occasion' or I was a bit more disappointing than I had hoped, I knew I had something to fall back on and I wouldn't fail to satisfy. Then when the time came, I actually lasted much longer than she did as a result of all my studies. (I also studied techniques to make yo last longer)

Do some research and get the knowledge to help you make her cvm every time. Then you won't have to worry about your penile performance because you have more tools in your shed to get the job done if that one doesn't seem to be doing it.

-CyranoDeBergerac