if u wanna get burned....

[Beebo]

one thing i have learned over the years with relationship is a key phrase that will let you know one way or another just how your partner feels about you. it may not happen right away but the statement works its magic -

- Why are you with me?? You seem like you can have anyone you want, someone more prettier/stronger/skinnier/attractive/ than me. I dunno why you decided to keep me and you are not with a hotter bla bla bla.....

1-If your partner wants you - then they will explain just why you are special to them. And the sentence will bring out the positive things that your partner sees in you

2-Your partner will take this statement seriously and begin to think just how much better of a person he/she can get and question their feeling toward you. And they begin to wheen away from you. And look elsewhere with their new 'get any girl/boy/' attitude.

I never say this sentence anymore though, because i dont want to make them question their decision about a relationship with me. Cuz in time, if their is doubt, that sentence will take its toll. I've done it and had it happen to me.

 

[-HPNOTQ-]

Hey Beebo

This is an interesting thread.

The situation was reversed with a girl i was in an LTR asked me the exact same question, why was I with her and not other girls with with bigger t*ts, prettier faces, better bodies.

When I explained to her why I was with her rather than other girls, it actually made me assess my relationship and appreciate the qualities that attracted me to the gf in the first place.

So...with me thinking, wow, when she asked me, I started to appreciate her more...I started asking that question to women I've been exclusive with since. Sometimes I've felt down on myself for whatever reason (school, work, family, etc) and had asked this question to get reassurance about the relationship.

Honestly, a woman that is TRULY in love with you, or very much into you, will bring you up and say those positive things listed in option #1.

Unfortunately, by asking, the seed is planted where option #2 comes out. She may start to question your confidence. She will start asking those questions to herself just in her internal dialogue, "He IS right....what am i doing with him? his car is kinda old? he is kinda scrawny, he doesnt have as much money as my friend Joanna's BF...I can get better"

Yea bro, I'm with you. I don't ask this question anymore, regardless of how long or how much I am into the relationship. All it does is promote doubt in her mind.

It may initially bring you guys closer, since the natural instincts of a good woman will be nurturing and reassuring. But, when the relationship gets tough, she may start to question her choice of a mate..because ultimately..the seed was planted by you.

Interesting topic Beebo

 

[DiamondMind]

Originally posted by Beebo

- Why are you with me?? You seem like you can have anyone you want, someone more prettier/stronger/skinnier/attractive/ than me. I dunno why you decided to keep me and you are not with a hotter bla bla bla.....

This will likely scream insecurity on your part. It is as if you are saying she made a poor choice.

I understand the basic premise of why you would ask that, but I think this question is better left unasked.

Indeed, this question might just plant the seeds of doubt.....

 

[Beebo]

i was going to add that as the opposite point of view as if someone asked me that, i would sense a low self esteem, self worth, kind of attitude and who finds that sort of thing attractive anyway??

 

[DiamondMind]

Originally posted by Beebo
i was going to add that as the opposite point of view as if someone asked me that, i would sense a low self esteem, self worth, kind of attitude and who finds that sort of thing attractive anyway??

Ya, thats what I feel she would think if you asked her this stuff. Never give them 'ammo' to think with.

Planting any kind of seed in a womans mind is playing with dynamite...cuz they will sit around all day letting your question bounce around their head like a pinball....even a small 'throwaway' comment can get them thinking big time, and you into doo-doo.

They will search for the 'meaning' of why you asked, trying to uncover the 'why did he ask that'?

 

[vegasguy]

hi beebo

Hi beebo i must admit girls do say that all the time.I wondered why they say it,its just like saying your not bad looking really.I am putting that advice on my wall just after i clean up my room.