If the convo is akward then she is not for you

[Pandora]

These days I only pursue the women that I feel that intangible comfort with. This policy will save you tons of misery. Remember if the conversation is awkward, then you will never see those panties. Sometimes you have the mutual physically attraction and try to force the rest. Dont do this.

You only get the girls that you click with. Clicking means your personalities match. When you speak to each other you two feel familiar. It is not awkward. They genuinely laugh at your jokes, the convo flows nicely etc.

This is also applies to male friends. Every once in a while you meet a guy and you just know that you two will be buddies. It's rare but it happens. Most of our issues in dating is when we pursue women that we don't vibe with. They can feel it. This is what females call chemistry. Should we pursue these women, we will be strung along for endless dates and frustration.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I used to think conversation was trivial with women but I actually use that to screen them more than anything. If I cannot have good conversation with her, why would I want to be around her? She'd just be another girl who I'd want to leave as soon as we banged, why even bother?

I just wish I could end dates sooner when the chemistry is only lukewarm, it's like I don't want to just cut my losses. You can give it a 15 min window of initial awkwardness but if it's been half an hour and it's still awkward and forced, then it's pointless.

 

[Pandora]

I'm a woman @Pandora and you're absolutely right, I call it energy. Two people who's energies ignite like a blazing fvcking fire.

In romance it's powerful! And in friendship, like you said, you just know this person is gonna become a good friend, sometimes for life. I have friends for example that I've been friends with since the third grade! .

Nothing to do with compatibility which people sometimes attribute it to, not understanding energy and what chemisrty between a masculine man and feminine woman actually IS - a natural polarity.

So many men make this mistake as you said. They meet a beautiful woman and they let their c0ck lead the way, without ever considering if there is any actual energy/chemisrty happening between them!

This has happened to me so many times, where some guy I just met thinks he's in love with me and I feel nothing!

What's he's feeling is his c0ck getting hard whereas I am able to differentiate between straight physical attraction and genuine chemistry/energy - that "click" as you described it.

And it's just not happening, in fact imo and experience it's very rare when it happens! But I never and will never settle for anything less

I have had some guys go absolutely ballistic when I decline a second date, they really just don't get it.

I'm glad you created this thread Pandora, you seem like quite an evolved man, a man other men might learn from.

First of all thank you for the compliment.

Secondly, I used to be that guy who would get hurt/confused as to why the girl did not want a second date after she had her tongue down my throat. I did not understand that she only felt physical attraction for me. There was no genuine chemistry on her part. Yes could I maybe sleep with her if I caught her on a drunken night, maybe...but it would be a short lived victory.

I was once in a coffee shop. A girl next to me complimented me on my outfit. I told her thanks and asked her out. Understandably I thought she was hitting on me. She politely told me " i just dont feel chemistry with you, we dont click". It hurt my feelings at the time but now I understand.

When you meet people that you actually do vibe with you will never settle for less. I think there is a supernatural karmic past life reason that you click with certain people ( not to get too New Age with you).

 

[Pandora]

I used to think conversation was trivial with women but I actually use that to screen them more than anything. If I cannot have good conversation with her, why would I want to be around her? She'd just be another girl who I'd want to leave as soon as we banged, why even bother?

I just wish I could end dates sooner when the chemistry is only lukewarm, it's like I don't want to just cut my losses. You can give it a 15 min window of initial awkwardness but if it's been half an hour and it's still awkward and forced, then it's pointless.

Exactly. But its difficult for me to cut their losses because we still hold out hope that we can sleep with her. So we keep on talking longer than 15 minutes trying to manufacture some chemistry.

 

[Pandora]

So so true, what's sad though is that many people have never actually experienced genuine chemistry/energy so when I try to explain, they will look at me like I have two heads!

I'm curious what others will say and re "supernatural karmic past" lol, I'm kinda into all that new agey stuff, read some of my posts!

I often talk about life being about the journey, not the destination, detaching from the outcome and allowing the Universe to lead the way...

Many men here think I'm full of shyt because of it but whatever, I try to let it roll off.

So yeah, supernatural karmic past? Why the hell not?

Okay i will check out your posts. I agree with the Universe leading the way. I am sure you have experienced serendipity in the way you ended up meeting people that were meant for you. I have at least. I attribute that to the Universe.

I think every romantic partner is a reflection of something you need to experience or learn. You are what you attract type of thing.
The men that think you are full of shyt when you talk about that stuff have never experienced it. Its all good.

 

[Pandora]

Oh man my heart just dropped.

Yes I've experienced serendipity, it's extremely rare like maybe twice in my life and these are the people who remain with you, or rather "within you" even when apart, and probably always will.

Exactly!! 100% they remain in your life. I have only experienced it a couple times also. They seem to be a reflection of some aspect of you.