if she offers coffee or brunch on the weekend she's prob not interested?

[big weezy]

i tried picking up this HB in coffee bean last weekend, it was a difficult pick up cos the people around us made it difficult for me to be direct as i wanted (i usually prefer a little more privacy to be more flirtatious) so i was somewhat subtle in my approach (tbh she may assume i want to be friends despite kissing her cheeks before i left) i spent the whole time busting her balls and negging her. turns out we went same college just 6 months apart.

i texted her to suggest we get together tomorrow or friday night (she works long hours as a lawyer only gets back at like 8pm at the earliest) she declined my offer of tomorrow and friday and countered with 'hey big weezy, tomorrow and fri not too good for me. how abt brunch or coffee on the weekend?'

to me these 2 offers of places sound like friendzone offers (or she has a bf) would i be right in assuming that?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

i tried picking up this HB in coffee bean last weekend, it was a difficult pick up cos the people around us made it difficult for me to be direct as i wanted (i usually prefer a little more privacy to be more flirtatious) so i was somewhat subtle in my approach (tbh she may assume i want to be friends despite kissing her cheeks before i left) i spent the whole time busting her balls and negging her. turns out we went same college just 6 months apart.

i texted her to suggest we get together tomorrow or friday night (she works long hours as a lawyer only gets back at like 8pm at the earliest) she declined my offer of tomorrow and friday and countered with 'hey big weezy, tomorrow and fri not too good for me. how abt brunch or coffee on the weekend?'

to me these 2 offers of places sound like friendzone offers (or she has a bf) would i be right in assuming that?

She counter-offered, which is good. No counter-offer means no interest whatsoever. So she has some interest.

I don't think she has a boyfriend, unless she's an idiot. I think it is obvious why it is inappropriate for a girl to meet a guy that she just met one-on-one if she's in a committed relationship.

Yeah, her offers are low-key, but maybe she's just a laid back type of girl. Maybe she already friendzoned you.

But you're looking at it in a defeatist way before even stepping up. Go for it, try to escalate and then you will have your answer.

 

[VinceV]

the last time i tried to kiss a girls cheeks in public she was not happy

 

[ARrocket]

But you're looking at it in a defeatist way before even stepping up. Go for it, try to escalate and then you will have your answer.

This times infinity.

Go for coffee instead of brunch btw, and make sure you have a plan of action to move from the coffee shop (maybe even get it to go and take her to a nearby park or something...you know?).

 

[d!ckmojo]

The friendzone is a good place for a guy who is self-confident and non-attached to outcomes.

What I mean is, for a guy who is just a sexual being, who has an aura of immense sexual magnetism emanating from his person, who oozes sexual charisma at all times, all of your female friends are going to start feeling attraction for you after spending any small period of time in your company anyway.

Don't worry so much about what she thinks! All girls are neurotic! They change their minds on the tinyiest things a million times per day!

Forget about whether she likes you or not, or whether she's "friendzoned" you or not, this is YOUR reality, YOU'RE in control, and b1tches are just pathetic little dweebs to be led around like a pig with a ring in its snout.

ACT in an attractive way, BE an attractive man, TAKE charge of the interaction, and she will naturally be seduced by you without even realising what's happening.

 

[powpow]

you expect things too fast.

some girls take a little bit of wooing. this girl, she just takes some wooing.

meet her for brunch. show her your charm, your wit, you brunch clothing style.

she is proposing the brunch because she wants to test the waters. but she will be evaluating you for relationship material, rest assured. she is smart and analytical (or so I assume because you say she's a lawyer), so be sure to be on your game.

in the past, I just do the brunch, then eject and do other stuff. it's the weekend for ****s sakes, I have **** to do.

if it's going really well, it never hurts to have a backup plan of some kind of event to go to after brunch. don't forget, venue change venue change.

you can probably pull it off into a full day with her, but don't plan on it. don't invite her anywhere unless her interest level is high. eject, have fun on your weekend, and then maintain contact with her, and set up a night date later in the week.

that's my experience

 

[big weezy]

the thing is the text convo went as follows:

weds night 8.15pm:
me: hey HB, let's get together at this famous coffee place, they do a superb hot chocolate and close at 10pm, im out tonight but how's tomorrow at 9 or Fri?

1 hour later her:

hey big weezy, tomorrow and fri not too good for me, how abt brunch or coffee on the weekend?

at 11.30pm me:

hey HB, yeah im busy Sat night so during the day is better for me, how's Sat or Sun at 2? Meet me outside the bakery and we'll go to (name of the famous place) next door for coffee.

no reply

the only reason i sent it at 11.30 was because when i waited 24 hours to reply last time i got flamed on here for waiting so long i.e. not showing enough interest soon enough so did the opposite but in hindsight given she works such long hours i would have been better sending it the next day.

seems like no interest now?

i think i was trying too hard to look busy cos i was too available and was too forward about where to meet.

 

[Krueg]

Your worrying about MINOR details. Go have coffee and see how things go! Keep it simple stupid! (No disrespect meant.)

 

[Flyer]

If you just met her and agree to brunch it doesn't matter. kino her enough and you won't be friend zoned.

 

[marmel75]

Seems an late morning/early afternoon meet up would offer the lowest chance for escalation, though if you can escalate enough its not out of the question...

 

[big weezy]

i think you guys didnt read my last post.. after i texted back she didn't reply. read up.

i think i should wait till next weekend and call her and try arange an immediate date rather than do the afc thing and call her this weekend. i need to keep a strong frame.

right?

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think it's insane that we need to tip-toe around with such attention to minutia. Such is the result of the female insanity that runs rampant today.

big weezy, I think you did fine. When a girl doesn't text back, her IL is super-low. I have NEVER met a well-adjusted female laywer. They are extremely tough to deal with and like to run the show to a degree.

I would say give it one more shot and then cut bait if she doesn't respond. Personally I would have lost interest in her by now, but I understand when I guy wants to be more persistent.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The friendzone is a good place for a guy who is self-confident and non-attached to outcomes.

What I mean is, for a guy who is just a sexual being, who has an aura of immense sexual magnetism emanating from his person, who oozes sexual charisma at all times, all of your female friends are going to start feeling attraction for you after spending any small period of time in your company anyway.

Don't worry so much about what she thinks! All girls are neurotic! They change their minds on the tinyiest things a million times per day!

Forget about whether she likes you or not, or whether she's "friendzoned" you or not, this is YOUR reality, YOU'RE in control, and b1tches are just pathetic little dweebs to be led around like a pig with a ring in its snout.

ACT in an attractive way, BE an attractive man, TAKE charge of the interaction, and she will naturally be seduced by you without even realising what's happening.

Lotsa truth here.

 

[st_99]

The friendzone is a good place for a guy who is self-confident and non-attached to outcomes.

What I mean is, for a guy who is just a sexual being, who has an aura of immense sexual magnetism emanating from his person, who oozes sexual charisma at all times, all of your female friends are going to start feeling attraction for you after spending any small period of time in your company anyway.

Don't worry so much about what she thinks! All girls are neurotic! They change their minds on the tinyiest things a million times per day!

Forget about whether she likes you or not, or whether she's "friendzoned" you or not, this is YOUR reality, YOU'RE in control, and b1tches are just pathetic little dweebs to be led around like a pig with a ring in its snout.

ACT in an attractive way, BE an attractive man, TAKE charge of the interaction, and she will naturally be seduced by you without even realising what's happening.

good post d!ck, agree 100%. worrying about friendzone is just another in a long list of afc, low self value, outcome dependent, behaviors.

 

[ohnoes]

Is this the only text exchange you have had with her since getting her number?

P.S. her suggesting coffee or brunch to me means she's scoping you out but like **** said it's all good. You have to play your cards right.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I dated a lawyer last year (well, law school program, plus worked admissions at a law school). Their schedules are the worst - asking them out for any day during the week is usually no bueno. They spend most of their day doing paper work and dealing with clients, so when their day is over they are SPENT on energy.

So, I understand why she'd want to go out on one of two days where she's NOT working. Plus, meeting up with you early for brunch or coffee can end up leading to a whole day where you're spending time with her - not the amount of time I recommend spending with someone you just met, but it could go that way.

What I'm not liking, though, is the response time. And BTW, this is yet another reason why I advise guys NOT to text - look at how worried this guy is over the fact that she didn't respond to a message he sent her 2 days ago! This could've been handled in 5 minutes with a phone call, and he would've been able to either hear the enthusiasm in her voice about meeting up with him, or the sound in her voice that says "well, I guess if I have nothing better to do..."

But anyway... girls who are wanting to go out with you respond faster. How long does it take to respond with a simple "yes" or "no?" 2 whole days? I don't think so...

I also don't like the counter-offer she gave - it was too vague. "Hey, how about coffee or brunch SOMETIME this weekend" is not a DEFINITE time. Better would have been "hey, how about Saturday at 11 A.M.?" The reason she didn't counter with a definite time is because she wants to see if something else more fun will come along before she decides when or if she'll go out with you.

But hey, let us know if the date actually ends up happening!