If no marriage, then what?

[Soapz]

I've been readin around on this site, Pook's Mill and other anti-feminist sites. The main message I seem to be getting is "Don't get married!!!"

Their argument against marriage is well structured, intelligent and backed up with plenty of evidence. No arguments about that.

But what they fail to provide is a concrete alternative. Bachelorism forever? How many of us are really contented to live alone for the rest of our lives? And when we hit the big 60, we'll probably have to retire the Playa lifestyle, because lets be honest- not all of us can be Hugh Hefners here.

The only thing I can think of is to break our double-standards, and LET our partners sleep around. I'm thinking of Gene Simmons here, where he has a main "Partner" with kids, but its understood that they can have sex with other people. But to do so would require a cultural brainwashing.

I know for a fact that the idea isn't "new"- many tribes practice this. In fact, scientist believe this is the way our ape-like relatives do it.

But because we've been brainwashed by western culture, I myself cannot bare to know my partner is sleeping around. Pains me too much...

Anyways, what do you guys think? Whats the alternative to marriage?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think it is more than culture. Most male mammals spend much of their energy chasing away other competing males. In this way, the strongest male becomes the alpha, and the best genes get reproduced. The males are the ones who care about monogamy, not the females, they just fall for whoever holds the alpha male position.

 

[newbie81]

I've been readin around on this site, Pook's Mill and other anti-feminist sites. The main message I seem to be getting is "Don't get married!!!"

But what they fail to provide is a concrete alternative. Bachelorism forever? How many of us are really contented to live alone for the rest of our lives? And when we hit the big 60, we'll probably have to retire the Playa lifestyle, because lets be honest- not all of us can be Hugh Hefners here.

The only thing I can think of is to break our double-standards, and LET our partners sleep around. I'm thinking of Gene Simmons here, where he has a main "Partner" with kids, but its understood that they can have sex with other people. But to do so would require a cultural brainwashing.

I know for a fact that the idea isn't "new"- many tribes practice this. In fact, scientist believe this is the way our ape-like relatives do it.

But because we've been brainwashed by western culture, I myself cannot bare to know my partner is sleeping around. Pains me too much...

Anyways, what do you guys think? Whats the alternative to marriage?

Actually the message is not "don't get married", the message is:"don't get married just like that".

A good 7 years ago, when going to clubs, there was a guy that was always going with us. The guy knew lots of girl, but dated none. He never ****ed a girl he didn't pay for & he basically had no life (he went heavy on drugs too around that time). Then he got to know a girl, his first girlfriend, just like that.

The girl has been ass from the beginning, deciding where the relationship would go, deciding which of his friends she wanted to see & which not, appearently she doesn't even to give him a ******* (lol, really) & she was ugly from the beginning.

He agrees on everything, he thinks he has no options, he is supreme AFC.

They have build a house together. Actually he has build the house with his own hands after his 8-5 job with his father, she has given the orders.

They are getting married next week, they have never lived together, they see each others 2-3 times a week.

Last week he went celebrating his "last bachelor night" (or what is it called in English), a close friend of mine, that I consider to be a DJ, joined him.

When the soon to be married guy was the closest to drunk you can be, my friend told him:"It's not too late, you can go back"

The guy answered:"If I could, I would."


Stories like this, you hear everywhere, everyday. Nothing you can do about it, you can only save yourself. I glad I saved myself, when a person who really wants to do change himself comes to me, I print him the Dj bible.

I saved myself, and I'm grateful for it.

The message is not "don't get married". The message is:"Choose wisely who you are marrying, take your time".

I have never been married, but I want to get children. I don't think this will happen before I'm at least 35y old. Too much things to do right now, too much things to do as a man & bachelor. Your chance is now, you only live once.

One day I'll find a good girl, good enough to make children with, a girl that will be a good wife & good mother. Untill that, long live bachelourhood.

Regarding the Player retirement at 60: there are lots of people who leave there women they married & had children with just to gain back their freedom as a bachelor. I think that a man true happiness come from being free to do what he wants, when he wants: absolute freedom. I can see myself leaving my wife & children to regain freedom after some years.


A forest bird never wants a cage.


-peace.

 

[MightyMate]

Gettin married is fine but at certain age. Guys who want to marry first or 2nd gir lthey ****ed in life, of who are 22 and are with the girl from 5 years are just stupid if they wanna do that.
Some people say the biggest problem is not to find proper girl for a wife.
I think the biggest is to find her too early.. Coz You have to drop her. And i dont believe in comebacks.

 

[logicallefty]

I think it is more than culture. Most male mammals spend much of their energy chasing away other competing males. In this way, the strongest male becomes the alpha, and the best genes get reproduced. The males are the ones who care about monogamy, not the females, they just fall for whoever holds the alpha male position.

This is so freakin' true.. Wouldn't it be great if all we had to do to get the girl was kick another guy's ass!?! LOL We have it harder than most other mammals, but with different rules, we basically play the same game.. BECOME ALPHA = GET GIRL.

 

[logicallefty]

I agree with the "Don't get married!!!!" It as a bad deal with today's feminist laws where the minute you say "I do." you're power is handed over to her whims and emotions. Marriage is rarely til death do us part anymore. It's basically depends on her.
.

.. sick but true.. In Illinois you can get divorced with grounds of "Mental Cruelty", which I s**t you not, ANYTHING you do that she doesn't like constitutes mental cruelty. All she has to do is tell a judge that she didn't like the color of shirt you had on last Wednesday, and seriously, that's all it takes.. you are GUILTY.. It's THAT easy..

 

[logicallefty]

Anyways, what do you guys think? Whats the alternative to marriage?

For company, get a roomate and charge rent. Use that money from the rent for romance and go get a callgirl when the need hits.. lol Ready to settle down and have kids? Kick the roomate out and go adopt!

Or, if you want your kids to be yours biologically, you could get a serrogate mother and then try to charge her for child support... lol Hey, I have heard of a woman trying to do this with a sperm doner, so why couldn't it be reversed, eh?! :moon:

Anyhoot, none of this here is my first choice, I want to get married (again). But you gotta admit, these ARE alternatives to marriage!

 

[Soapz]

Theres two ways to look at this I guess. Get married to at a later age because either

a) Older girls are more mature
or
b) Older girls have less "options" and will be unlikely to divorce for fear of living alone.

Hmm....

 

[penkitten]

getting married is such a personal choice, one must carefully weigh the odds before making such a choice.
as for what i feel, when you get married, you promise and vow to that person that you will be faithful and true to them, that you will not share that part of you with anyone else.
i could not bear the thought of sharing my husband with another woman, its just not right. if i wanted to be with other people or have him be with other people , well we wouldnt have gotten married, thats for sure.
both of us have had people cheat on us in the past, and we both made it clear with each other that it isnt acceptable for either to do it and jokingly tell each other "if you cheat you die" and then we laugh knowing that we both can relate to each other.

the first time i got married i was very young, and although i tried very hard, things just did not work out and left me in divorce dept with small children. if i had any clue that even with my determination things werent going to work out because we grew apart rather than together, and that we were just too young, i wouldnt have done it.
7 years later, much older and wiser and even more responsible, i feel like i was finally old enough and mature enough to try my shot at it again.
i love my husband for many different reasons, but one is knowing that we can trust each other was really something to build a foundation on.

but thats just my two cents.