If I had only been an *******

[rbd]

Hi guys,

Long time no post for me. In short: I've been working with my own business, and am now financially pretty successful (own a house, nice car, no debt past the mortgage, etc). I've gotten over most of my past issues that had stopped me from succeeding with women in the past, and now I only experience problems with women when I lose the 'Tao of Steve' type mindset (e.g. get desperate) or get the oneitis for some girl in particular.

This case with this one girl has me a bit frustrated though. In short, she's a solid 9, 23 years old, fresh out of college. I met her randomly, she was just sitting outside, and I went up and started talking to her. Got the number, she was interested, etc. At the time I was truly impressed with her, very good looking, pretty darn intelligent and her personality didn't totally suck. The first date we had, I had some red flags pop up. For instance, she talks about that she just got out of a relationship with a boyfriend after 7 months in because he "needed more space". Yeah right, to me this means she's probably got some screws loose, as with what this girl has going for her she would have to (or her ex-boyfriend would have to be a moron). Other things such as a slight gold-digger sense and some massive insecurities (no surprise there for hot girls).

However, I've only recently gotten my game and confidence up to the point where I can pull in HBs now, so she was still a novelty. I stuck with it despite my gut feeling. I really believe that I was being the good guy. I wasn't supplicating, wasn't calling her all of the time, would bust on her balls a lot, mysterious, etc etc.

So fast forward to tonight, our 3rd date. I could sense this thing was headed downhill on both ends...just lack of compatibility. However, I would notice that if I acted like a dyck in *certain* ways, this girl would get really interested. No doubt it seemed to feed her insecurity and need to please. In the end I got LJBFed and kept things open (yeah right, her phone number is gone), and handled it very maturely, told her how I felt after that (basically I liked her, but if it's not her it's someone else, no big deal), and parted ways. But the thing that really bothered me is: if I was an assh0le and fed into her issues, I would have been much more successful here. However this is just NOT me. I am not a dyck and to do that I feel would go against the kind of personality I am cultivating in myself. I did not get as far as I've gotten in life by being a dyck to people. The mature way is just being true to yourself and if it doesn't work out, fine, part ways, move on. In truth, I should have listened to the red alarms that were going off, but the novelty and the flattery I got from my seemingly new-found ability to really pull in the HBs got to me I guess.

Have you guys faced this dilemma before? It's a bit frustrating. You know you did the right thing to choose the high road and not to get down into her fycked up world, but at the same time, you're not in her pants right now.

Thanks,

Rob

 

[wjh]

Yea - what you did does sound mature. But being that "assh0le" would have landed you in her pants AND given her what she wanted. Do you really think she would have suffered? What if that suffering is what she wanted?

Regardless, I think you dodged a bullet. I'm not so sure you have what it takes you to capitalize on situations like these and divest yourself of any emotional attachment and play it cold and calculating.

 

[edger]

Other things such as a slight gold-digger sense and some massive insecurities (no surprise there for hot girls).

Massive insecurities such as what? Because you'll always here me say, most hot women are not insecure. A hot woman knows she's hot. Very simple. Nothing to be insecure about there. And if they come off as insecure, most of the time it's an act..most of the time it's for their own ego-investment - they want re-enforcement that they're hot, to add to their already inflated egos. Enough is never enough with them.

I wasn't supplicating, wasn't calling her all of the time, would bust on her balls a lot, mysterious, etc etc.

However, I would notice that if I acted like a dyck in *certain* ways, this girl would get really interested. No doubt it seemed to feed her insecurity and need to please.

You say you didn't put on the "jerk/a**hole" persona with her, but your above statements suggest that you did. ?? I'm confused.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

RBD: I think you learned a valuable lesson, but it sounds like you handled it really well and are mature enough to see the problem. I did the same thing a few months ago when I finally realised I could get the HBs and got over-excited. The biggest thing to remember is trust your gut. Even if its something you can't quite put your finger on, be prepared to cut and run. Obviously if you're feeling like that about every girl, the problem's probably yours but it sounds like you're on top of things. I agree that its not worth losing your self-respect to exploit LSE girls.

Edger: WTF? Hot women aren't insecure? IMHE they are as bad as any other if not worse. A lot of them are even worse than 'average' girls because they know deep down they rely entirely on their looks.

Funny how there's so many fatties who think they're it...

 

[NewMan]

Massive insecurities such as what? Because you'll always here me say, most hot women are not insecure

I totally disagree with this statement. Most hot women I've meet are very insecure.

they want re-enforcement that they're hot, to add to their already inflated egos

Which is why they are so insecure.

In fact, I find Fatties to have the mosr self asteem of any women.

 

[slaog]

I had a similar problem last year. I was being AFC to a girl and she even mentioned she likes badboys but I just didn't know how to react to become a badboy. I could act it now but I know it's best in the long run not to because women who like badboys have personality problems.

 

[Jeffst1980]

You don't need to be a badboy. Just be a confident man that won't put a girl on a pedestal. How were you acting like a "dyck?" If you were playfully teasing her and not catering to her every whim (i.e. passing her s#it tests), you should've kept that up. However, if it was just macho posturing and being rude that seemed to get her going, you're better off leaving her for the guys in the cutoff tshirts and the blowout haircuts. She's an HB 9 and her ex wanted more space? It def sounds like you dodged a bullet on this one.

Don't change who you are to get a girl. This include acting like a badboy if you're not.

 

[slaog]

Jesus, what more does anyone need? Do you need it tatoo'd on your forehead? You went total AFC on a chick and she TOLD you what you needed to do to get her to spread her legs and yet you still didn't do it. You know why? It wasn't because you "didn't know how" like you claim; it was because you lacked the toughness that congruency brings to a man. And you also claim that "I could act like a badboy, now". BS BS BS BS. You can't act anything with hotties because their shyt tests will instantly expose the incongruency of a closet AFC. YOU HAVE TO BE IT.

And what is this BS about how you could act badboy but you have decided not to because those girls are screwy? BS BS BS. You want to know what a girl means when she likes "bad boys". It is a MAN. He is fun and exciting, he doesn't take shyt from ANYBODY. He takes risks. He takes what he WANTS. All women want this. Women just use the term bad boy because they typically have all these traits.

This was last year when I was more AFC and I actually didn't really understand at the time why women were attracted to badboys etc..

When I said act I mean for a few hours. I know acting will only get you so far and you have to change your mindset... its what I'm doing at the moment as you can see by viewing my previous posts.

Her last boyfriend cheated on her twice and she still was talking about him all the time so I do think she really ment badboy in the sense of somebody not treating her right. Also she had a love/hate relationship with her father. She constantly complained about him and said they didn't get on.

 

[edger]

NewMan, if hot women were insecure like you claim, you'd see them settling for AFC's. But most hot women don't settle, because they are CONFIDENT enough to know they have other options.

When I say hot women want "reinforcement", it's not because they're "insecure", but because enough is never enough with them. Their egos are already inflated and at an all time high, but they want MORE. I'll use the spoiled child for example. The spoiled child ALWAYS gets what he/she wants from mom and dad. But the child always wants and expects MORE, because enough is never enough. Same sh*t with hot women. Enough compliments/attention is never enough for them. Simple logic.