If being needy, to available and begging are a turn off then why am I single now?

[cfdagola]

Let me vent here, because I've been pondering this all night after drinking with friends.

If being needy, to available and even begging for another chance is a turn off and chase women away. then why did I lose my chick to her ex that did exactly all that and then some?

hell he even went as far as stalking her and broke into her house. I mean he absolutely refused to let her go. PREIOD and even went as far as also changing his schedule at work so that he can see her Monday-Friday all day.

but its not about that. I'm wondering why I lost my chick to all that? I was polar opposite, I have female friends who are pretty. I have friends who I can hang with and i'm a pretty social and funny dude.

My friends say women who are with guys like this aren't exactly happy with it which is why she cheated but its a form of control because they know regardless of what happens they will always have that security blanket a "home base" if you will.

But I trust in the seduction community to a certain extent now. But my mind is still blown as to how I lost to a dude that exhibits all the traits that usually make girls run? are my friends on point with what they said? or Am I missing something?

I just want some clue. Because maybe i'm looking at this all wrong maybe I need to call this chick 56 times a day and blow her phone up with text's and asking for second chances etc or stalk her a little bit and break into her house.

I KID. but still someone give me some insight here.

 

[Anargyros]

I am a newcomer here, but my opinion is that you can't take the Bible as a Bible. I mean, it does not apply for all the women out there. I think that the guidelines the DJ's throw in here are the best way to go -it's the HIGHER CHANCE OF SUCCESS statistically from their own experience.

I also suspect that some will say you were her "rebound" relationship and she wasn't really interested in you. Maybe, maybe not. But most likely.

 

[_sideways_]

Theres someone better waitibg for you....

 

[Tiguere]

Blessing in disguise

 

[cfdagola]

I am a newcomer here, but my opinion is that you can't take the Bible as a Bible. I mean, it does not apply for all the women out there. I think that the guidelines the DJ's throw in here are the best way to go -it's the HIGHER CHANCE OF SUCCESS statistically from their own experience.

I also suspect that some will say you were her "rebound" relationship and she wasn't really interested in you. Maybe, maybe not. But most likely.

I never felt I was a rebound. Reason being is our "relationship" grew organically over the course of 11 months. Started as friends though.

So that's not it honestly its just something i'm missing, but i'll never know what it is. I just know what she told me.

Still how I feel now is nothing compared to how I felt when she had me on the wire. as some sideline bi*ch.

And thanks guys...

 

[Anargyros]

You know, maybe I sound a little fatalistic. But if she left his EX then started a relationship with you, then went back to her ex... well, it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Thus she is low quality. However...

How many women out there know what they really want?

Do the PUA's know what they really want?

I mean, we know that if you're willing to walk away from her, you're showing alpha traits, hence you attract her. On the other hand, we know woman like to feel absolutely UNIQUE, SPECIAL and IRREPLACEABLE for you. Which is contradictory, as if you show yourself willing to walk away from her then you're showing her she's replaceable.

I'm not an expert DJ but I believe I have a good, critical sense. So, basically, you asked a question... and I add more questions. Hopefully someone can provide real answers.

EDIT: I noticed you mention she "cheated" - that's low quality and there are no questions to arise.

 

[Skyline]

Let me vent here, because I've been pondering this all night after drinking with friends.

If being needy, to available and even begging for another chance is a turn off and chase women away. then why did I lose my chick to her ex that did exactly all that and then some?

hell he even went as far as stalking her and broke into her house. I mean he absolutely refused to let her go. PREIOD and even went as far as also changing his schedule at work so that he can see her Monday-Friday all day.

but its not about that. I'm wondering why I lost my chick to all that? I was polar opposite, I have female friends who are pretty. I have friends who I can hang with and i'm a pretty social and funny dude.

My friends say women who are with guys like this aren't exactly happy with it which is why she cheated but its a form of control because they know regardless of what happens they will always have that security blanket a "home base" if you will.

But I trust in the seduction community to a certain extent now. But my mind is still blown as to how I lost to a dude that exhibits all the traits that usually make girls run? are my friends on point with what they said? or Am I missing something?

I just want some clue. Because maybe i'm looking at this all wrong maybe I need to call this chick 56 times a day and blow her phone up with text's and asking for second chances etc or stalk her a little bit and break into her house.

I KID. but still someone give me some insight here.

There's 3 reasons why women cheat:

1. You were being weak and needy.

2. Complacency. You stopped "gaming" her.

3. She's a low quality slvt.

With those being said, what were you doing in the relationship?

 

[Krueg]

From the DJ Bible..

Now let us observe a conversation between Anti-Dump and the Nice Guy. The Nice Guy cannot understand why his girlfriend, who he thought to be a ‘good girl’ and all, went back to her ex.

For your reading pleasure, Italics will be the Nice Guy while Anti-Dump will be in the quotes.

The only thing you are 'reckless' about is your manly pride.

You have been DUMPED and you don't see it!

now he wants her back and
she has decided to "give it one more try"

That, my friend is a DUMP. You are out of her ROMANTIC life forever. When a woman 'goes back
to her boyfriend' she has decided you are not for her. She has 'tasted' your flavor and has LOW interest romantically for you.

It's LOW. She could come back but she will BREAK UP with you again. Because romantically it's low.

which I kind of understand.

Only confused, clueless, no balls nice guys understand
a girl dumping him and going back with an EX.

You came to the right place.
We'll make a Don Juan out of you yet.

The problem is she still likes me but wants us to "be friends".

Yea, she likes you 'a little'. Not good enough for a Don Juan. She has to be crazy about you. She has to want to marry you.
In short she has to have HIGH interest.

I'm wondering if he came back on the scene cos he suddenly realised that he wasnt the only one that could have her.

Doesn't matter. When she said 'I have decided to go back' she revealed her LOW interest in you.

It wasnt an easy decision for her, crying about it,etc.....

This is where the nice guys TOTALLY FAIL . It was EASY for her to dump you. She has 10 times the romantic feelings for her EX than you. That was easy.

The hard part was HURTING YOU.
She knows she cares little for you. She knows she started someting she can never finish. She didn't 'cry' for you. She is not 'torn' between you and the EX.

She cried because she is DUMPING YOU!

You nice guys need a lot of work.
Remember, I used to be in your shoes.

My question is - how do i get her to realise that he will just **** her around

Why do you care? She will never be your girlfriend. Once a women leaves you, you are OUT romantically forever. No chance.

or how do i get out of this friends ****.

Impossible. It's over friend. She is giving you false hope. Remember, she will dump you AGAIN if you get back. Because of the low interest.

She even told me the other day i was making her horny

She is horny because her EX isn't around to please her. IF she wanted it from you, she would have ripped your clothes off.
Six months is a longtime to wait.
Yet she didn't ask you to bang her. Very bad sign.

she is confused, but what can i do?

SHE IS NOT CONFUSED! Nice guys got it all wrong. She wants her EX and not you. That is confused?
Not!

Do I ignore her totally which will be pretty hard and lose her friendship,
or keep up the innuendo,etc in hope that she may come back???

Turn her into a friend. But get out there and start asking for numbers. Don't let her give you false hope again. Don't get sucked back in.

Date others.

DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR? Perhaps this has happened to you. The girl was just stringing him along to make her ex jealous. Yes, women do use guys like this.

Now why do we men have such a hard time dealing with female interest? It is because we over-think things.

Peak says;

Ok guys Anti-Dump said this of-the-cuff like in one of his posts and I thought it needed to be painted in the sky, so that we could all look up and remember this!!!
Please stop looking for a green light to move ahead. Never look for 'signs' of her liking you.
You will never get into a women's head. Don't even try. Stop trying to 'read' women. It is a waste of time. Ask her out. Then you will know for SURE. Her actions are something you can get a handle on.

A smile and a friendly look is all you need to make your approach.

You ask me if this is really true???

Look, learn from my mistakes. In the past I had girls that really liked me for ages before I had the guts to ask them out. Their response was over the moon when I finally did! I had absolutely no idea that so many girls actually liked me...yes in that warm and gooey wet kind of way. I was clueless...but not anymore!

Anti-Dump adds,

As Peak said in his very first post "stop overthinking it"!

Men are NOT women. Take off the dress guys.

It is WOMEN that wonder if a guy likes them before anything happens. Men have somehow picked up this bad habit from women.

The thought of whether she likes you should never cross your mind. It is not important BEFORE you ask for the number. The important thing is you WANTING her. Always ask yourself "Do I want this one?". And the answer should be "Wow. Boy do I!"

That is all you need to know.

Real men TAKE what they want.
And ask questions later.

 

[mikey2012]

Dude let her leave. You dodged a bullet. I had the same experience. She went back to the loser hubby because she felt he was safer bet and he was such a beta she could control him. He was so beta that after she cheated on him and left him to be with me he still asked for her back. Read again asked her to come back. She didn't even have to beg etc. This guy is the lowest of the low and she has low standards going back to a loser like that. Leave them be and let them wallow in loserdom. Eventually they will get divorced. These idiots will never find happiness . Why be part of their sad world.

 

[foreverAFC]

sometimes that AFC behavior does work, ive seen it before. not that i recommend it, but its something ive observed myself. for example i know a girl who was about to leave a party with one of my friends to go hook up with him when this beta orbiter friend of hers literally started crying in front of her and begged her not to leave with my friend and she stayed with him instead and they ended up getting together because of that, and that girl was an hb8.

i also used to get women when i was an AFC, some girls kind of found it charming. not all females are ice cold emotionless fck dolls.

 

[mikey2012]

Yeah but it won't end well. I seen it happen. Eventually the ho will cheat on him. Unless you don't mind being cheated on.

 

[foreverAFC]

hell he even went as far as stalking her and broke into her house. I mean he absolutely refused to let her go.

ill tell you guys something pretty messed up, cause maybe it can provide some insight into the minds of some females. one of my friends had a female neighbor that he was friends with and he was totally in love with her for years. then one day, they were hanging out and she told him that one night some guy crawled into her bedroom window and raped her, and she enjoyed it. she enjoyed it so much that the guy started coming into her room all the time. she said she was turned on by the fact that this guy wanted her so bad he was willing to crawl into her window and risk jail in order to **** her. my friend was never quite the same after hearing his onetis tell him that. but yeah, there are all kinds of women out there guys, nothing should be a surprise at this point.

 

[Meisterman]

In my experience, the only girls that actually enjoy the overly obsessive, attention seeking, needy guys are the crazy ones. Best to stay away if that's the case anyway.

 

[cfdagola]

SNIP

Look, learn from my mistakes. In the past I had girls that really liked me for ages before I had the guts to ask them out. Their response was over the moon when I finally did! I had absolutely no idea that so many girls actually liked me...yes in that warm and gooey wet kind of way. I was clueless...but not anymore!

Anti-Dump adds,

Here's the funny thing. I got attention. I got Sex And up until she got an OVI i was able to see her pretty much every weekend.

just three weeks ago i was downtown at the bar's so was she we were both with respective friends.

she was begging me to hook up with her. And then about 2 weeks ago she was telling me how much she missed me and that she could die tomorrow and i would never know because she's got an OVI and can't see me regularly. And since i hardly call/text I would only find out after weeks of silence.

Yes that was her not even a week before our fallout.

The only reason we HAD a fallout is because i suspected she was with her dude and considering my friend was in the area i told him to scope it out. he snapped a picture of them together and sent me the picture I then sent her the pic and told her to F-OFF. Very bluntly.

and the game was over at that point. Otherwise YES she would STILL be cheating on him with me even now had I withheld that picture. All i'm really scratching my head about is how did it come to this. How does THAT DUDE who does all these things and literally begs and pleads and holds her hand hoping she'll never let go. IF sosuave says that doesn't work then why did it work?

Although she does beat him up like a rag doll still. I have friends that they both still chill with obviously without me. But she'll ignore him. Tell him to shut up he's annoying and text and go on facebook on her phone while he's talking to her just tuning him out. And Fellas. HE STILL ASKS HER if its ok if he can drink. Or take a shot. HE ASKS PERMISSION to do regular things! It mirrors what she would tell me when she was cheating on him she would say "i just learned to tune him out, i have no idea what he just said because i don't care". but even if she hadn't said that her body language alone told the story. But HE STILL STAYS he just pecks at all the little crumbs she throws his way and loves it.

THAT is what i'm trying to figure out how i lost to.

I WILL ADD that i have been getting better at getting over it so i reactivated my pinterest and facebook. soon as I did that. BOOM she hit me with like, like, like, like. this morning there was literally 6 or 7 likes on crap i've posted years ago and also on my pinterest. I think WE ALL KNOW what she's doing. that was like a smoke signal for me to come back to her. as her little sideline Bi*ch

 

[countwoofoolah]

peeps do some whacky shizz

 

[Thundernuts]

Okay so OP let me get this straight as I'm a bit confused.

Were they broken up? or was she just screwing you on the side?

 

[cfdagola]

Okay so OP let me get this straight as I'm a bit confused.

Were they broken up? or was she just screwing you on the side?

I'm not sure although I would assume they were broken up she changed all her pictures to just selfies from couple shots.

Here's the thing. When we were close I got her a job away from her guy and hits parents who all work in the same building.

Then things didn't work out at her new job and she went back to her old job he altered his schedule to be around her Monday-friday same schedule. And of course she had his mom and all her friends and his friends all influencing her im sure.

Slowly things started to revert back to just them being together. And she phased me out but always tried to keep me close.

And now I'm here. All my friends who knew about her all say you didn't even seem that serious about her we never knew you felt this way. And she made the same mention. She's like you didn't show me you wanted me I was giving everything up for you.

Perhaps it's my fault. And I regret it. But the end of the story is. She's back with her guy. But telling mutual friends we still have she does miss me. It's just so messed up. But she's back with her guy and that's all I see.

 

[Shaka]

How old is she ?
Maybe she was near the wall or something.
Then she sensed your alpha traits and that made her insecure ?
And then, she looked for the safe bet aka beta bucks

 

[cfdagola]

How old is she ?
Maybe she was near the wall or something.
Then she sensed your alpha traits and that made her insecure ?
And then, she looked for the safe bet aka beta bucks

when i met her she was just turning 23 in september so 22. But her birthday was literally 2 months before we even really said more than hi to each other at work.

we had a fallout 2 1/2 weeks after her 24th. but yeah all year long was a pretty rocky time for her. lot of family issues dealing with abuse. OVI, moving away to get away from abusive step dad. her mom doesn't seem to meet good men either.

anyway yeah she would mention when we were in bed just pillow talking that she hated how much she liked me and that i wasn't on that level. And that she isn't used to her following the guy. she just marks her spot and the guys always have followed her. She also always thought i'd meet some new younger girl and ditch her. She got pissed also like it was my fault if other girls approached me which happened twice on random occasions. (just some drunk chicks) and after that point she added "you can get any girl, why me?" to the list of insecurities.

that caused the initial distance. So yeah I mean you may be right to a certain point. because she wasn't comfortable how chill i was being. All the while her ex is trying to win her back hardcore.

 

[Skyline]

when i met her she was just turning 23 in september so 22. But her birthday was literally 2 months before we even really said more than hi to each other at work.

we had a fallout 2 1/2 weeks after her 24th. but yeah all year long was a pretty rocky time for her. lot of family issues dealing with abuse. OVI, moving away to get away from abusive step dad. her mom doesn't seem to meet good men either.

anyway yeah she would mention when we were in bed just pillow talking that she hated how much she liked me and that i wasn't on that level. And that she isn't used to her following the guy. she just marks her spot and the guys always have followed her. She also always thought i'd meet some new younger girl and ditch her. She got pissed also like it was my fault if other girls approached me which happened twice on random occasions. (just some drunk chicks) and after that point she added "you can get any girl, why me?" to the list of insecurities.

that caused the initial distance. So yeah I mean you may be right to a certain point. because she wasn't comfortable how chill i was being. All the while her ex is trying to win her back hardcore.

So...

Number 3?