idiot, idiot, idiot...

[Juan Schwartz]

This girl I was seeing asked me if I was a virgin on like three seperate occasions. I denied it everytime (even though I am, and my friends told her that I am). The last time she said, "That's too bad, because I really wanted to take it.". Oops. According to one of her ex's, she really does like to take guys virginity. We messed around a few times, but she would never let me have sex with her. She decided that we should stay friends, blah blah blah.

I still like this girl, and she still shows signs of interest in me, but it never goes anywhere.

Anyway, last night I got sorta trashed, and sent her a text telling her that I lied to her a few months ago about something. She replied by asking me what I lied about. I never got back to her, so a few hours later she sent another, more demanding message. I ignored this as well. A few more hours after that she called me and again asked what I lied about. She didn't seem pissed or anyhing, kinda playful. I told her that I was at work, and I'd rather talk to her sometime in the future. She accepted that, but told me that I should call her her tonight if I wanted.

I've no clue as to what to do now. I seemed to have raised her interest somewhat, and I figure she already knows the truth, but I'd feel really awkward just flat out telling her that I'm still a virgin.

 

[joekerr31]

your her toy. she just wants to be "special" to someone. once she takes your virginity, she'll dump and ignore you.

don't give it up to an attention ***** like this.

J

 

[DaKidS3]

How old are you?

 

[Blackdragon5095]

She being nice to get whatever you lied to her about out of you. this trick is common and as soon as you tell her the truth she turns into a nasty bi@tch. My advice is to throw this chick away like nasty food.

 

[Juan Schwartz]

Right.

Last night she called me and asked me out for some drinks. I agreed.

Most of the night was spent teasing her about this little lie of mine. I told her to try and guess.

her: ... you're madly in love with me, and want me to have your child?
JS: Haha, no.
her: Aww. You never hated me?
JS: You know I never hated you.
her: I know.

We basically just talked. She told me some details about her past relationships, and something about her biological clock ticking (she's only 23), and things like that.

Then she made a few more guesses, I gave her a hint, and she just sat there, shocked, when she figured it out. Her disposition completely changed. She kept staring at me, breathing heavily, and at one point told me that she felt like she should "cure" me, and dropped a few other hints. I told her not to pity me.

I probably made a huge error by not taking her home with me. She seemed to want to, but I told her I had too much to do. She hugged me, and sort of went in for a kiss, but I only let her kiss me on the cheek. I sent her a text asking her to call me when she got home, but she never did, so I sent her another one telling her that I just wanted to thank her. Is she pissed off at me? Do I still have a shot? She was more or less behaving the way she used to, before I lied to her about my level of "experience". I really do like her, but I don't want her to feel sorry for me..

 

[spider_007]

take chare men, fvck the b1ch. you know she want's it, so what are you waiting for???

-she asked you out
-she was teasing you
-she didn't mind talking sex with you
-she was tuching you (hugs....)
-she was giving you verbal hint

COMEON MAN, HAW FAR DOES A WOMAN HAVE TO GO FOR YOU TO GET IT. She almost came out and said it.

don't make her say it, she just might walk away, so she don't look like a slut....

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Originally posted by spider_007
take chare men, fvck the b1ch. you know she want's it, so what are you waiting for???

-she asked you out
-she was teasing you
-she didn't mind talking sex with you
-she was tuching you (hugs....)
-she was giving you verbal hint

COMEON MAN, HAW FAR DOES A WOMAN HAVE TO GO FOR YOU TO GET IT. She almost came out and said it.

:yes:

 

[speedo_meme]

dude, f*ck the b*tchiness out of her, nut all over her face multiple times, then get up and leave when you're done with her, maybe throw her a towel and tell her to wipe her lip.

 

[Juan Schwartz]

Yeah, I blew it, but I didn't want her to think I was desperate, or that I was using her. She might have gotten the impression that I was making up a sob story and bailed. I mean, I couldn't think of the right thing to say the moment we were walking to our cars, plus I was nervous, so I told her I had something to do. She looked dissapointed, and I felt horrible afterwards. I don't really want her to think I'm not interested in her, but I don't want her to think I'm gonna magically fall in love with her and take on stalker traits either. I don't know.

I really shouldn't have sent that text. She did reply, saying she doesn't know what she did to get a thank you. I just joked that it was for the food she bought me, and told her it was because she didn't judge me, and I respect her for that. I told her she was a good friend.

I haven't a clue as to what to do next. I really want to ask her out for some drinks saturday, but again, she may think I'm needy. Should I wait to see if she contacts me again?

There are other girls I could give it up to no problem, but I want it to be with her.

edit: And don't refer to her as a b1tch. It's disrespectful.

 

[spider_007]

call her up (1 or two days lather) and invite her to a movie at your place. AND FOR GODS SAKE NO SOB STORY just move in and hiss her (and hope she didn't put you in a friends zone already)

in the mean time start reading the bible...

 

[Vibe]

Dude -

I say bang the chick.

She thinks you aren't interested right now. She basically offered sex to you and you didn't take it. She will move on unless you do something about it.

Okay, so for a normal girl, I'd say something like this:

Stop worrying about whether you will come off as "needy" or whatever. Just say what you want. Make sure you are the one in control of the situation. Keep the mindset that whatever you do is fine as long as you are confident about it. Don't ask her questions, don't ask for her approval.

Don't say "would you like to go out for drinks with me on saturday?"

Ask her if she has any plans and if she says no, say "Good. I'll pick you up at 9."

You get the point.

HOWEVER

This chick is different. She's into control. Like someone else said, she wants to feel "special." Nobody else can take your virginity. Now keep in mind, this could be RISKY, but you might want to play this off like the younger guy who needs a "teacher." That might be one of her fantasies that she tries to play out with virgins like you. The normal "DJ" **** might not work the same way with her. So again - don't ask for her approval. Don't thank her for something she hasn't done. Be clever, be cute, and be "innocent." Maybe send her a suggestive, but subtle text message like, "I think you forgot to take care of something last night (or whenever you hung out with her)" She'll ask what and you can just say "let's go out for drinks this saturday."

Stuff like that. Now, like I said, this is a little more direct, a little more risky (a LOT more risky depending on how far you take it) but if she really IS into this dominatrix thing, it could REALLY pay off in the bedroom. You might want to stick with a DJ approach until you're out with her (and drinking) and then test the water with little playful comments and see how she responds. Remember - after confidence, the DJ's most important skill is adaptation.

~Vibe~

 

[Verbal]

this kinda sounds like a high school story. the reason i say that is because 1) if you tell an older chick that you are a virgin she will think you are a loser and dont have any kind social value at all. 2) guys dont tell a chick their boy is on the V team. thats imbarasing. you should really tell your friends to shut up. she didnt call you because she gave a s*it about your virginity. anyone is gonna call back and wanna know what you lied to them about. just say your friends are immature and thought she would like it if she thought your were a vigin. your friends f*ucked this one up for you. stop texting too.

 

[Juan Schwartz]

Because every girl is alike

So she went from moderate interest (she used to always flirt a little with me) when she barely knew me. Then to high interest (she started coming out to the one pub I usually go to more frequently, always asked me to sit with her, asked for my number, her body language opened up more, agreed to pretty much any date idea I had, started making out with me, ect...) after my friends told her I was a virgin. Then it dropped to "friend" status (wouldn't let me have sex with her, gave me the speech, started flaking when I'd want to hang out, but still flirted a bit) when I told her I wasn't. Then it goes back up again when I tell her the truth.

You know everything!

Seriously, to those who are actually helpful, I still need a little advice. Everytime I'm in this situation, I get nervous and screw it up. Last night, for example, with my lame cop-out. I should have just asked her back to my house to watch a movie or something. Other times I just behave so randomly that the girl will get up and leave. Another time I was making out with this chick, fingered her, and when she asked if I wanted to ****, I said no. Then she got embarassed and left. How in the hell do I overcome this paralyzing fear? I mean, at least she now knows why I get that way. She was telling me last night that I don't need to be awkward around her, but I still couldn't think straight enough to come up with some simple way of getting her back to my house.

 

[Vibe]

You are too busy thinking of "tactics" to get what you want. It's keeping you from getting anywhere because you can't think of anything on the spot. So stop thinking of tactics. Just do what you want. Obviously she wants to F*ck. She told you straight out that she wants you to dip your wick in her.

So stop worrying about "how to make it happen." Just do it. You have already escalated her interest to a point that she wants it no matter what.

You probably could have said "let's go back to my place" and she would have been totally cool with it. In fact, she probably gets off a little on your awkwardness.

Basically, all I'm trying to say is stop overthinking things. That is the difference between an AFC and a DJ. An AFC thinks everything through. He worries, he wonders, he back-pedals, etc. A DJ does what he wants. He sees the world like a buffet and he will take what he pleases. He's not an a**hole but he's no pushover. Humans have been f*cking since time immemorial. They did it with instinct. They didn't have tactics or routines or perfectly structure formulas. Just do what you need to do to make it happen, brother.

~Vibe~

 

[penkitten]

why did you tell her you lied about something ? why didnt you tell her what?

 

[Juan Schwartz]

All I got was a "maybe. I'll keep you in mind" for tonight. I've become a charity case.