Idiot around girls I like. DJ around girls I dont.

[jd782]

I've noticed something lately. And have been in denial, or just didnt realize it before. When I'm around girls I have no interest in dating. I can charm the hell out of them. But when I want to date one. I turn into the biggest idiot. I'm super shy. I get kinda rude and withdrawn.

Example. There is this girl I know. About a year ago, I wanted to ask her out. But she herself asked someone else out instead. So I didnt pursue it. When I liked her, I was shy, didnt talk to her much, sometimes when she would say hi, I would look at her like she had killed my mother. Now, when I talk to her, I make her laugh, I charm her and we have some great talks. Because I dont want to date her.

This is just one example. The other ones in my life are similar.

I'm sure this question has been asked here many times. But I asked because I wanted it to be something I said, because its more personal.

Can anyone else relate much? How did you overcome it?

 

[DJ Girevik]

READ THE DJ BIBLE. Read the parts about never putting a woman on a pedestal. Regardless of how hot a woman is, she breathes the same air, drinks the same water, craps, urinates, and farts like all of us. Treat hot babes as if they weren't hot babes, but just normal chicks.

What's funny, is it actually seems easier for me to charm popular HB's than normal girls. The popular HB's probably have AFC guys SURROUNDING them, a lot of guys are too afraid to talk to them, and other guys are ******* dumb jocks. By just being a normal guy and treating em like normal girls, you work wonders.

One thing that works wonders for me is this: if you have a slightly younger (like 6 years or less) sister, think about how you treat her. You guys would tease each other, goof around, converse like normal people, poke at and roughhouse with each other, right? Think about how you would treat her, and treat the chicks you know, hot or not, the EXACT SAME WAY. They'll eat it up.

 

[Phrozen]

I know exactly how you're feeling. I have always been the natural charmer ever since I was a child. I can't really explain it, but it just happens. The only problem is that girls my age are like kryptonite is to superman. Ok, its not really that bad, but I don't think I've been succesful at attracting girlfriends as well as I can appeal to any other age group. For example, this week one of my coworkers told me how my boss and my supervisor were talking about how perfect I would be as a boyfriend to their daughters. It is so frustrating to win the mom's approval to be overlooked by the daughter.

As to overcoming this situation I find that progress is slow and steady if I keep reading this forum. I become more aware of my behaviors that attract others and I can maintain more control of them when dealing with girls my age. So far awareness of what makes one a DJ has enabled me to purposely strive to act that way.

 

[xblitz44x]

There is a reason for it. It's the reason that we are attracted to them at all. When we look at "hot" chicks, a lot of things are happening in our minds. When we're standing in front of her, we are GIVING her qualities (perceptions). These perceptions are the opposites of your weaknesses. If you are shy, you assume her to be confident, if you are dominant, she is submissive. You presume she smells good, and is AWESOME in bed. All of this without knowing a THING about her. So when we look at her, she is reflecting back everything that is FVCKED UP in us (again because we perceive her to have the perfect opposite of our weaknesses - perfection). When we look at her we are CONSCOIUS of who we are, and our flaws. Hence: self-conscious. This happens because when we are aware of our flaws, only then are we able to over come them and integrate our strenghts. That's why you feel this way. Understand it and you'll be able to deal with it.

-Blitz

 

[Jay26]

You must realise hot babes are the same as normal chicks, don't treat 'em differently.

Once you realise this though you realise that you're better off going for HB's cos well, they're hot and just as easy as the average chicks (and probably with less issues and crap) , but you'll have the satisfaction of a HB Leave the average chicks for the chumps who are too afraid of the pretty ones

 

[xblitz44x]

Jay...question for ya,

If "hot babes" are the same as "normal chicks" then what satisfaction are you getting from a "hot chick" that you're not getting from a normal girl? I thought they were the same.

-Blitz