Ideals of DJ's: awfully similar to narcissistic personality disorder

[Cry For Love]

ok: NPD criteria are the following:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance,
beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement
6. is interpersonally exploitative
7. lacks empathy
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

leaving 2, 4, 9 aside, these criteria are really similar to what many of us strive for. "Act like the king, and you shall be treated as one" and other similar quotes often used here, focusing on creating the impression of being a real man. A lot of topics are devoted to techniques to achieving this, even if this forum in general is a bit opposed to the ideas of PUAs.

Seeing as how already 5 of the 9 criteria being present is enough to label someone a narcissist, we really need to discuss these ideas.

 

[Five To One]

Well I think people say narcissist like its a bad thing. If you dont love yourself, whats the point of living?

Many of those things do discribe me and im sure they discribe many other guys here. But many other attributes discribe me that arnt considered being a narcissist.

Being a leader, independent and masculian are all major things we strive to be and no one is going to say those are bad things to be.

 

[The Bat]

ok: NPD criteria are the following:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance,
beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement
6. is interpersonally exploitative
7. lacks empathy
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

My rebuttal:

1) A DJ doesn't have/need a "grandiose" sense of self-importance. He understands that, to HIM, he is the most important person in the world. But he realizes that, in the big scheme of things, there is a strong possibility that he may not be the most important person in the world. How many of us in here are Presidents of countries? CEOs? High-ranking priests? Big time movie stars? Popular novelists? Reputable surgeons?

2) A DJ is both pre-occupied AND TAKING ACTION towards reaching his goal of unlimited success, power, etc.

In NPD cases, most people are DREAMERS, and not doers. A DJ, on the other hand, both dreams AND chases those dreams.

VERY BIG difference between the two.

3) A DJ believes that he is special and unique to himself and others around him. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Would you rather be an ordinary, sleep-walking drone of a man?

4) This is obviously not true for DJs because DJs don't care what other people think of him.

5) A DJ believes he is entitled to certain things AND he works on himself to make sure that he DESERVES them. A big difference between BELIEVING in getting something AND WORKING TOWARDS achieving that thing.

A woman fits this criteria better because she believes that she deserves a rock star, Brad Pitt look alike, billionaire husband while she herself can eat all the fries she wants and not workout and cut her hair short. Now THAT is a sense of entitlement.

6) There are two schools of DJ thought on this matter. Some believe in "high character" and "treat others as you want to be treated". Others believe that "ends justify the means".

7) This isn't true for DJs. We care for our fellow AFC chumps out there.

8) Not true for DJs. We aren't envious of others. We LEARN from others who are better than us. Envying them would be a rookie mistake.

9) By whose standards? Walk into a room full of Christians and talk about how many women you slept with and they think you are arrogant. Walk into a room full of football players and talk about how many women you slept with and they think you are a cool dude.

Anyway, it's a big stretch to equate DJ philosophy/lifestyle with NPD. There are key elements missing between the connection which are highlighted above.

Thing to keep in mind is that a DJ lifestyle is one of masculinity. And anything remotely resembling masculinity in our society or in our academia today is biased against or is a problem that needs to be dealt with by "labeling" it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My Dad's dad has narcissistic personality disorder. Basically, it means you have success in life and the personality of a giant jackass. I think the Peterman character from Seinfeld is a good example. Every time you start a sentence, he has to interrupt with a story about how he bagged one of the endangered species hanging stuffed over his fireplace.

 

[KontrollerX]

"1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance"

Most people who first come here are AFC's that are in the gutter self esteem wise. Here they learn that they are worth something and can begin being successful if they make certain changes and apply certain techniques in their life. Once the changes are made the self importance unlike that of a true NPD is one based on facts and actual accomplishment and is not necessarily grandiose. The main difference being between a DJ and a true NPD is that whether a NPD is successful or loved in life or not they believe they are whereas a DJ that is "faking it until he is making it" knows he is in the process of building himself up and doesn't have delusions of grandeur.

"2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance,
beauty, or ideal love"

DJ's are focused on the first two but that still does not an NPD make as everyone normal has a bit of healthy narcissism about them but that does not make everyone an NPD.

"3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique"

The difference? An NPD believes this as a matter of fact or as though it were a birthright. The aspiring DJ on the other hand typically has to struggle believing in himself enough to attain one of these and I don't think DJ's go so much for being "special" as they seek to become "unique" among the competition in their area in one way or another.

"4. requires excessive admiration"

Nope. DJ's don't require this to survive like NPD's do. NPD's need this like any human needs oxygen. Normal people can survive without excessive admiration.

"5. has a sense of entitlement"

Nope. A DJ has a certain standard of living that they adhere to but they will not demand a woman bends to their will as though they are entitled to her. Rather they present themselves to the woman while studying the woman over and if she meets the criteria and the woman is interested in the DJ things then move forward via the free will of both parties. If the woman does not meet the criteria the DJ walks away which indicates the DJ's lack of entitlement feeling but also his adherence to personal standards of living.

"6. is interpersonally exploitative"

Depends on the DJ. You can either be honest and find a woman thats down for a one night stand or use Rollo's Plate Theory and as a mature man let the women you date know that you are dating many woman and will be non exclusive with her or you can pretend you are that chick's new boyfriend to get into her pants while still knocking it out with other girls on the side.

"7. lacks empathy"

DJ's have empathy and it lets them know that most women don't when it comes to relationships so those DJ's then turn their empathy to those more worthy of receiving the benefits of it such as friends and family. The difference between DJ's and NPD's in this instance is NPD's have no empathy with which to direct towards a certain group whilst the DJ has a choice.

"8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her"

Depends on the DJ. Though in true NPD cases they are always jealous of everyone that is above them as they view themselves as a god so it is the highest insult to them for anyone to be above them and a real mind bender for them to come to terms with. In a DJ's case if someone is above them that DJ may be looking for ways to get a promotion and become higher than that person but jealousy may not necessarily be the motivating factor. Perhaps the DJ knows they are simply more competent to be in a high position than the person currently above them. While with a true NPD the only motivation ever will be jealousy.

"9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes"

DJ's show incredible confidence and will to power which is often interpreted by spineless AFC's as arrogance, being an assh0le or having a haughty behavior or attitude.

DJ confidence is built over time with often a lot of suffering trial and error whereas with an actual NPD all they have to work with is actual delusional arrogance, haughty behavior and attitudes.

So to conclude once again and its directly from the book Emotional Vampires the author psychologist Al Bernstein made it clear that normal human beings have a healthy sense of narcissism about them and without it most of us wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning. Narcissism is that little voice in our heads that tells us to try, try again.

Its only when the narcissism gets out of control and hurts ourselves and others tremendously that it can even begin to be compared to NPD.

 

[Warrior74]

Cry for Love. Great screen name and appropriate post eh. haha.

 

[Apocalypse Now]

It depends on the kind of DJ we're talking about. Alpha Male DJs don't fit into those characteristics at all. I would explain, but the two posts above mine already did so.