Ideal girl? Help me get my head out of the clouds.

[Fumbduck]

First of all, this is crazy. I met a girl from Texas and can not stop thinking of her. The problem is, I'm from California. We met on a train, she was visiting friends and we bumped into eachother and hit it off, hung out all afternoon. Very high IOI on her part. Exchanged numbers and have been texting back and forth. Girls are a dime a dozen, nothing really excites me. But ever since meeting this one girl last week, I can't stop thinking of her, a girl I most likely will never see again.

I have multiple plates, have my personal game down well, I never develop a "oneitis". But there was something about this ONE girl that was insanely attractive, she had every quality I desire. I have this weird, new feeling of missing her. I don't like it! I feel anxious that i will never see her again. WTF is this uncomfortable sensation?

Would I like to pursue this girl, OF COURSE, but let's be realistic...

Fella's please help me get my head out of the clouds.

 

[Slickster]

Send her a text that says "I can't stop thinking about you!"

If she responds positively, follow up later with words like "fate", "destiny" and "connections".

With all the distance and low chance of seeing her again you have to go for the home run here.

Be prepared for either a quick heartbreak, or start saving for a plane ticket.

 

[rocket87]

You want her because you can't have her (distance), so yeah.. go all out or go home. Nothing wrong with trying.

 

[PDubb75]

It's a snowball effect. You meet someone you are interested in, find out shes not from around there, your mind starts thinking how much it sucks that nothing can happen with this girl, you keep finding things you like and dwell on them because of the fact it's now or never, and you exaggerate them in your mind.

So then you go your separate ways, and the thoughts just keep ballooning, making this girl seem absolutely perfect in your mind. I'm not saying she wasn't great, but I've had this exact scenario happen to me.

If she got to you this much, just go for it, like Slickster said.

 

[Fumbduck]

Yeah I hear you guys, and that is how I try to live life. You'll never score if you don't take a few shots. This girl really did get to me, and i'll regret it a hell of a lot more if I don't take the risk, and try. I can live with rejection, but regret will eat you away long after the initial burn of rejection subsides.

To some people being a DJ may be just about picking up women. I feel being a DJ is a state of mind, the pursuit to be the best man you can, and once you have become that man, to pursue and interact with women that compliment you and supplement your life. Settling for nothing less.

As I get older and acquire more and more life experience there are a lot of things i'm learning that you have zero control over. Like this girl i've been speaking about. If nothing ever comes from it, than so be it, I gave a valid effort. I at least know quality women who "ignite" me exist out there.

I've learned that you can't stress over what you can not change. Things happen for a reason, and a man's true strength a test of how much he can endure and how he rises from failure. Life will knock you down from time to time. We also don't have enough time on this planet to dwell and feel sorry for ourselves or think about "the one's who got away".

Guess if nothing happens with this one, i'm determined to find another who made me feel like this one has. Guess i'm not totally dead inside after all! haha

 

[rocket87]

You just had a fvcking self-actualized epiphany up there.

Let us know what happens.

 

[powpow]

Go get em tiger.

I agree. Every once in a while, something comes into your life that is truly remarkable and worth taking a huge chance. Go for it man, let us know how it works out.

 

[runner83]

You need to read this big time, refer section on LDRs:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=125865

If you are c@ck deep in local pvssy more than 6 nights a week and were still thinking this way, that it might have some merit.

But I doubt that is the case.

Much more likely is that you are using this girl as an excuse to avoid rejection from local girls with whom you actually have a chance in hell of getting laid.

Accept why you are thinking like this, grow a pair and move on.

 

[Fumbduck]

Good thread suggestion. I don't fear local rejection at all. Do I have some of the "buffers" in the thread you suggested, yes, but who doesn't. As a man who holds himself to a higher regard, I expect my women to equally hold themselves to a higher standard. This eliminate many, but certainly not all from my "dating pool". We all have standards and buffers that limit us from certain women, if we didn't we'd just bang everything out there with a pulse.

Am I holding out with this long distance girl and putting my hometown life on hold? HELL NO, because i'm not betting she isn't either. This forum regularly makes women seem like horrible people, which is not always the case. I'd like to believe there's still hope out there for some women, and this one has potential. It's nice having a little crush, as long as you don't limit yourself from other opportunities.

I'd regret not seeing if this could amount to anything. I can't live with "what if's".

 

[Groovy]

Lmao... Sorry, but you are taking this very seriously.

I think I know what you are going through. Because I used to have oneitis too.

Hahaha, I used to think that she was perfect... It was PAINFULLY afc. I write it now, and it doesn't feel right anymore. Hell no, these ideas are out of my mind for good now. I was like you too, EXACTLY: No girls excite me, lalala, shes the only one.

SPIN.

MORE.

PLATES.

And get rid of these poisonous energies too. Don't think about it more.

Just believe in this: Hot girls, they are everywhere.

I will be very honest with you.

In the process of writing this post, I got that sickening feeling once again. It stings!! And I know FOR SURE that my problem is, and will never EVER be oneitis. I just reminded myself of "these times" and the feelings got back.

I am eating an apple and drinking mineral water, LOL I will probably eat a pear later or a kiwi, whatever. I am also watching a Bruce Lee movie. In 10 minutes I won't even remember any of this.

What you give emotional energy, it GROWS. (This is also why it is GREAT to have some sort of hobbies to occupy your mind with. What are your passions?) So don't think about it. Why? Because, who cares if she goes away. There are tons of more girls out there.

The reasons you may not believe in this are:
You don't spin enough plates
You haven't got rid of the feelings you have in you. I am pretty confident that that infatuation (there is a good one, but then there is a type that will destroy you) is also very physical, and a sign of something wrong chemically in your body. Be careful. Some may think I am over reacting but if you don't take care of this it can very well reach epic proportions. You said it very well: Head on the clouds.

She doesn't matter. Don't think about it anymore if you don't want to.

BTW, what the hell is this crap of "she's the only one that excites me?"???????????????????????????

Damn, you SERIOUSLY need to get out in a club where there are sooooooooo many hot women... If you are really feeling like this, home boy there is something wrong with you I don't know what the hell is your problem! (I am just writing this in a kind of joking way btw hehe).

Either that, or, (and i've touched this point earlier) there is something wrong with you, like testosterone deficiency or something. Just a tought. IMO it would really help you to not masturbate in a week... You will get more excited with girls and life. Try it!

Btw, diet to me is very important... If something hits me hard, if I take a huge blow and feel weak in my knees... I feel aware of the changes in my body... I try and, as fast as I can, grab something to eat, or do something to bring my body back to homeostasis. Exercise, for example... Tai chi, every day! Nothing should keep you down, especially nothing as meaningless as ONE girl. Sure, you may like her. You want her... You even pursue her. But you are aware you do NOT need her either. So all negative emotions are strictly controlled. It NEVER gets to a point that it over-runs you. I hope my message got through. Good luck man! : D

 

[Fumbduck]

Gentlemen,

I appreciate your supportive, and brutally honest advice. It's nice to feel those elementary school "crush" feelings once again, it's been a while. But as you guys said, they can't run your life and control your actions. It will bring you back to square 1 AFC. Had to take a few days to myself, get out in the field and think about the advice given. My head's out of la la land thankfully. Back to the game.

Cheers