I wussed out today....ugh

[Kirro]

I was on the bus on my way to the park to exercise. This tall light skinned chick(I'll assume she's latina) walked into the bus...she stared directly at me & sat beside me. Not just that she pressed her leg against mine & left it there for the entire ride. She wasn't amazing, she was cute, slender about a high 6 or low 7.

The opener immediately sprang into my head. However I just froze. I couldn't summon up the courage to talk to this chick. As I got out, we shared a long stare as she moved aside to let me pass.

Its not like I could guarantee a number close, its not that I passed up on a potential plate. I'm pissed that me, Kirro, someone who has been known all his life for charisma, confidence & charm, someone who could talk the spots off a leopard, being all this, I couldn't open my damn mouth & say anything. Maybe I'm self conscious of my accent(not being American). I dunno, but beyond putting my body through hell to maximize my looks, beyond shooting for a better job, beyond making friends with dudes...one of the most important trials of my self improvement relies on the ability to chat up strange females with relative ease.

 

[Tyson420]

I have this same problem in the office. This tall black chick says hello but I just walk past with a 'hey' when what I really want to do is ask her what her name is and say what's up.

Her ass is out of this world.

 

[Marvin Gaye]

What's wrong with stares? You got an ego boost. Can't win em all you know. Sometimes your situation will happen to me and I'll just freak out and overthink it; usually I decide to not talk to her anyway because I'm thinking she'll notice my anxiety.

So maybe it was better you didn't if you were freaking out like that, coulda failed anyway....however maybe opening your mouth at all would have given you sky-high confidence who knows...on to the next

 

[Kirro]

I know I can't win em all. However I want to be able to start up a conversation with any girl(I can already do this with guys). I want to feel at ease talking to them.

If I get laid now yippie but its more of an exercise, like lifting weights or running laps with my mind & mouth rather than my body. Us guys are meant to chase. I do not want to be totally reliant on social circle game or the odd chance of a girl approaching me.

I know that if I can just do it once or twice I'd be able to get really good at it, I'm just so damn afraid of being blown up, ugh I feel like a little b!tch.

 

[luckster]

I was on the bus on my way to the park to exercise. This tall light skinned chick(I'll assume she's latina) walked into the bus...she stared directly at me & sat beside me. Not just that she pressed her leg against mine & left it there for the entire ride. She wasn't amazing, she was cute, slender about a high 6 or low 7.

The opener immediately sprang into my head. However I just froze. I couldn't summon up the courage to talk to this chick. As I got out, we shared a long stare as she moved aside to let me pass.

Its not like I could guarantee a number close, its not that I passed up on a potential plate. I'm pissed that me, Kirro, someone who has been known all his life for charisma, confidence & charm, someone who could talk the spots off a leopard, being all this, I couldn't open my damn mouth & say anything. Maybe I'm self conscious of my accent(not being American). I dunno, but beyond putting my body through hell to maximize my looks, beyond shooting for a better job, beyond making friends with dudes...one of the most important trials of my self improvement relies on the ability to chat up strange females with relative ease.

I know the feeling, Kirro. It happens, don't beat yourself up over it! When you're at that block, the one where you start thinking stuff like:

Is my accent gonna turn her away?
She's not going to want to talk.
I don't have my favorite shirt on -- (it's amazing what your brain will cook up not to talk to someone)

Just say "Hi." With me, I've found, I just need to get past that block and it usually gets so much easier. It's surprising where that simple "Hi" will take you! I've had some fun conversations with this. Granted, some bad ones too -- but it comes with practice I say! I made a thread not too long ago about something like this happening to me, at a bus stop actually. Hated myself for it. But what separates you from everyone else is that you will pick yourself up and you will keep trying.

I have a list of "favorite" articles I refer to from time to time when I'm feeling down, this being one of them:

CHALENGE GUY - COURAGE

 

[Warrior74]

Fear will rob you of opportunities. The good news, there will be more opportunities so don't beat yourself up. The good news is that you were aware of what happen and can reflect on it and correct it. Keep pushing forward.

 

[Kirro]

@luckster - Read both posts & they resonate with me, thanks a lot. I'll get it eventually. Funny thing with my accent is, most people seem to love it, for some odd reason whenever I speak proper English, people think I'm British or Aussie lol. The problem is, nervousness will take the bass right out of your voice, ruin your delivery & fvck up your timing. However I am determined to tackle this as quickly as possible.

@Warrior - Thanks. I will keep pushing forward, I've got a lot of work to do in so many areas. For some strange reason though I feel excited, like I'm starting to have the time of my life.

 

[BlackMack177]

happens to the best of us man. just be ready next time and don't over think what could have been.

Just remember this feeling in the future. the feeling of regret. You don't want to feel like you never even gave it a shot. rejection is worse than regret, but regret is more comfortable because us guys seem to always take that road of miss opportunities

man this sh1t aint easy, but I try to remember that fear is mostly imagined. Most of the things we fear are because we imagine they will happen a certain way, but if we actually grab our balls and go through with it 90% of the time it doesn't go like we thought it would.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She had changed the rules. She invaded your space, was touching your leg the whole time, and therefore that which you had learned to formularize couldn't work.

No need to to feel bad about it. She just caught you at an "off" time and created a situation that was a little foreign to you. A good learning experience.

In any endeavor in life, I never think that I have "arrived". I can always be thrown a curve ball and strike out. That's just part of the game and an opportunity for growth.

 

[Kirro]

She had changed the rules. She invaded your space, was touching your leg the whole time, and therefore that which you had learned to formularize couldn't work.

No need to to feel bad about it. She just caught you at an "off" time and created a situation that was a little foreign to you. A good learning experience.

In any endeavor in life, I never think that I have "arrived". I can always be thrown a curve ball and strike out. That's just part of the game and an opportunity for growth.

This is what upsets me. She actually made it a lot easier than usual. As always the opener flew into my head. I was going to ask or comment on her height yet for some reason the courage just wouldn't manifest.

Meanwhile I could sense that she sensed I was wussing out. She even signified it by putting on earphones, as if to say, "yo, you're taking too long to take advantage of this".

I can't wait for the days when I can look back on this day & laugh at my inability.