i would really appreciate some advice

[*RHCP*]

I am in my last year of school. Homework takes up alot of time, plus I have work (where I dont talk to many people and can barley remember anyones name) lacrosse (which is fun but im not very good) and guitar (which I barley ever practise). I dont have any close friends. The friends I do see on weekends sometimes, I have not seen this year because there is always some homework task to do. I have not even kissed a girl and have been to only 1 pary ever. I go to an all guys school so I know no girls. Thats why im not going to the formal. I can spend hours on the net wasting time without even noticing. I have even spent whole days sometimes. I have bad problems with procrastination. I found this site a few years ago and I loved the idea of self improvement. So I ended up spending hours reading stuff on the net (not just this site) on how to improve, without actually improving at all. I have probably set myself at least 20 times more goals than I have actually achieved. Mabey even 100 times. I have improved in some ways, but then again I have also gotten worse in others. And nothing has really changed at all.

I was going to write an account of what happened to me in the past few years explaining everything more, but I don't want to waste your time. I dont know what I should do now, because ive tried so many times and given up, without achieving anything at all.

 

[War Against Betaism]

If I tell people to man up and just take action, they probably won't do it. So what I usually tell them to do is set themselves up for action. I used to be in your position; I moved to a new school near the beginning of junior year and had no friends. All I did was watch anime and go to forums every day when I got home and skipped a lot (A LOT) of school to void myself of that empty feeling of not knowing anyone. Expectedly as I let time pass, my situation got increasingly better. I met new people and I grasped myself of the type of society that I was getting myself into. I joined one club (oh how much joining that one club changed my life) and met some people that introduced me to their church. The ironic part of going to their church was that they introduced me to the things they were teaching against. Next thing I know I'm going out almost everyday, have a network that spreads across Southern California from LA to Irvine to even Temecula, and party almost every weekend.

A lot of people would just simply tell you to join clubs or activities, so I thought it would be better to give you an example. Oh yeah, sorry if I'm running on assumptions on here, but try not to masturbate a lot. I've realized just recently how detrimental it has been to me. You're tired more often, hesitate a lot more on decisions, become a lot more shy, and it just literally sucks the man right out of you.

Another thing I'm going to assume is you probably have a pessimistic view on your life (I just hate to assume but I'm drawing many connections with you and the person I was before). This will affect your body language and your overall aura as a person. Walk with your chest sticking out, smile more often, and don't be afraid to touch people. Touching escalates the relationship between you and any new person you meet. I know a person that is a major AFC but isn't afraid to touch people and he gets more girls than me.

Here's something to refer to to improve kino and body language:

Kino (First of ten vids):
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Edh2GQHZmtI

Body Language:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=130091

 

[*RHCP*]

I have tried joining clubs and stuff, but I have things to fix up before I am able to make alot of friends at a club. For instance I joined a school debating team. Went to the peoples houses to prepare for debates and stuff ect. Then the next year came around and they dropped me from the team. Mabey because they're a bit better than me at debating, mabey they just don't like me. Another example is when some friends introduced me to their larger group of friends and I dont know what to do. I'm socially passive, as in, I never make friends with people. The only 'friends' I have are people who made friends with me. Also I dont have much time on my hands so I cant really join something without dropping something.

Yeah, I do masturbate often. I havn't really noticed it 'sucking the man right out of me' but then again the longest ive even gone without doing it, unless im sick or tired, is like 6 days or something. So ill give that a shot. One problem though, what do you do when its really hard to concentrate on anything cause your too horny? This is really annoying and happens whenever I don't masturbate for a few days.

I don't know if im pessimistic. I used to be comically hopeless, but I managed to change that attitude. Its completely possible that there are still pessimistic thoughts that are hard to spot or describe that I still have. I used to be delusionally optimistic, though, thinking that everything would be different within a few days.

But yeah, my aura and body language arn't that good, probably worse than I think, and basically never touch people except for shaking hands and stuff.

 

[GaryUranga]

man you remind me of myself too, and the interesting part is thta that kinda was me 4 months ago, it all changed recently when I joined this group and Im goign out almost everyday now, keep in mind this was 4months ago, anyways Im noticing my conversational skills are goign up, Im startign to chat up ppl 1 on 1 easily which used to be really hard and thats it, Im workign on my improvement big time.

Also I met new girls at these groups.

My advice would be, dedicate your procastination hours to thinkign it up "how can I put myself out there" figure it out, set it up so that youre in a group of ppl where you can socialize in normal settign and just train up your social muscles, you might not do good at first but slowly youll start improving, just be proactive on it.

If you have msn you can add me and Ill help you out.