I wasted a perfectly good pair of socks!

[Tarzan aka King Dong]

A little about me: I’m short, 5’3, slightly overweight, have dark curly hair, brown eyes, have a nice smile as I’ve been told and have some pretty stylish clothes my friends picked out for me at a hip clothing store in the mall near my house. Oh and I wear prescription glasses.


I heard about this site from a friend who said I could definitely use some advice from some of the posters here but never thought about telling my story till about two weeks after my disastrous first date date happened.

The good part.

I was out with my friends at a local hangout in my area when after I downed a few brewskis for liquid courage I went up and talked to this pretty cute blond girl who I at first thought would never give me the time of day. She was a cutie! I could tell my crew was secretly laughing behind my back and thought it was just because I like to tuck my button down shirt in my shorts. Hey it’s comfortable! lol Anyway’s we talked for a bit then left and said goodbye. She was giggling with her friends after but I just thought she was nervous. I eventually sent her a facebook request as one of my friends knew her full name and she accepted but I don’t think she remembered who I was until I went into details of the night we met. I was nervous as heck talking to her online but I found some wine in the fridge and had a big glass to steady my nerves. I asked for her number and if she would like to go out for dinner sometime and that I would pay because I’m a gentleman. I couldn’t believe she said yes!


Now for the bad part.

I practice ventriloquism in my spare time and thought she might enjoy it on our date to break the ice. I took a pair of my clean white socks on the date and made one a guy ‘me’ and one a girl ‘her’. I hid them until we got to the restaurant to entertain her while we waited for our food. The restaurant is inside the mall where I got my new clothes, so I showed her and even though they sell guys and girls clothes she said “I would never buy clothes there” I just ignored it and tried to make small talk. We got seated at the restaurant and placed our orders and while we were waiting I took out my sock daters and put them on my hands and made a little skit of the both of us on our first date with hopefully more to come. She turned bright red and called me a weirdo, loser, creep and any other name she could think of. The waitress laughed at me too. We were both silent while we ate our meals and I paid in full like my parents said a gentleman should. She didn’t even wait for me to take her home and called her friends to the mall to meet her. (I think she did it when she excused herself to the bathroom.) So anyway I left on my own and found out she deleted me from her Facebook!

I was so pissed off I decided to get even!! That night I took the girl dater sock and humped the sh!t out of it and with my worst cvm face I could make, I shot my cvmload inside it and thought out loud in my head as my parents were sleeping “Take THAT you stupid b!tch!” and then took the girl sock and kick slammed it in my waste basket!! The guy dater sock (me) I drew a sad face on it and have it on my bedpost to remember my defeat.

Where did I go wrong? I dressed my best, wore some of my dad’s cologne, acted like a gentleman, tried to be funny and make the night special and all I ended up with was a fvcking wasted pair of perfectly good, clean socks!!!

 

[r0cky]

Its funny that after breaking your post into the good and the bad part you still have to ask what you did wrong.
Troll.

 

[Tarzan aka King Dong]

Yea well I guess that explains why I'm still a virgin. I'll try do better next time. Ventriloquism isn't appreciated by everyone. Her loss. thanks for your advice rocky.

 

[Tiguere]

mod delete this thread and IP ban the OP

 

[garruk]

A little about me: I’m short, 5’3, slightly overweight, have dark curly hair, brown eyes, have a nice smile as I’ve been told and have some pretty stylish clothes my friends picked out for me at a hip clothing store in the mall near my house. Oh and I wear prescription glasses.


I heard about this site from a friend who said I could definitely use some advice from some of the posters here but never thought about telling my story till about two weeks after my disastrous first date date happened.

The good part.

I was out with my friends at a local hangout in my area when after I downed a few brewskis for liquid courage I went up and talked to this pretty cute blond girl who I at first thought would never give me the time of day. She was a cutie! I could tell my crew was secretly laughing behind my back and thought it was just because I like to tuck my button down shirt in my shorts. Hey it’s comfortable! lol Anyway’s we talked for a bit then left and said goodbye. She was giggling with her friends after but I just thought she was nervous. I eventually sent her a facebook request as one of my friends knew her full name and she accepted but I don’t think she remembered who I was until I went into details of the night we met. I was nervous as heck talking to her online but I found some wine in the fridge and had a big glass to steady my nerves. I asked for her number and if she would like to go out for dinner sometime and that I would pay because I’m a gentleman. I couldn’t believe she said yes!


Now for the bad part.

I practice ventriloquism in my spare time and thought she might enjoy it on our date to break the ice. I took a pair of my clean white socks on the date and made one a guy ‘me’ and one a girl ‘her’. I hid them until we got to the restaurant to entertain her while we waited for our food. The restaurant is inside the mall where I got my new clothes, so I showed her and even though they sell guys and girls clothes she said “I would never buy clothes there” I just ignored it and tried to make small talk. We got seated at the restaurant and placed our orders and while we were waiting I took out my sock daters and put them on my hands and made a little skit of the both of us on our first date with hopefully more to come. She turned bright red and called me a weirdo, loser, creep and any other name she could think of. The waitress laughed at me too. We were both silent while we ate our meals and I paid in full like my parents said a gentleman should. She didn’t even wait for me to take her home and called her friends to the mall to meet her. (I think she did it when she excused herself to the bathroom.) So anyway I left on my own and found out she deleted me from her Facebook!

I was so pissed off I decided to get even!! That night I took the girl dater sock and humped the sh!t out of it and with my worst cvm face I could make, I shot my cvmload inside it and thought out loud in my head as my parents were sleeping “Take THAT you stupid b!tch!” and then took the girl sock and kick slammed it in my waste basket!! The guy dater sock (me) I drew a sad face on it and have it on my bedpost to remember my defeat.

Where did I go wrong? I dressed my best, wore some of my dad’s cologne, acted like a gentleman, tried to be funny and make the night special and all I ended up with was a fvcking wasted pair of perfectly good, clean socks!!!

i would suggest drinking before the date. its obvious the alcohol helps you calm down.

i would also tone down the wierd until you guys are more comfortable. ventriliquism would qualify as weird (its really funny and interesting but she needs to know you arent a wierdo first).

 

[Just a Shot Away]

I was there at that restaurant, man! I saw the whole thing. Small world...haha. Anyway, the problem is that you're not good-looking enough. Sorry, but that would've worked great if you had more symmetry in your face.