I was just called and informed that a girl I've been sleeping with has HERPES

[bullseye12345]

Hello,

I've been messing around with a girl, on the surface things are going great we've been dating for about a month now. Our personalities mesh and we get along very well. Anyways, she has this older male friend which is pretty much the "nice guy listener" type. I've been told from her that he is very manipulative and canniving. Recently she stopped talking to him primarily because he's tried to put moves on her to kiss her "supposedly". And the fact im with her I pretty much made her realize that he has no business in her life.

I just received a call from him telling me that she has genital herpes, he not only told me this but he gave me the name and number of her doctor and the address. He also gave me the aunt and mothers number and told me that they will be upfront about it.

He also told me there was some test pcr-d na test or something like that.

What I'm trying to figure out is how to uncover the truth without causing any rift. I haven't exactly been in a situation like this before. He could be doing this just to wedge me away so he can creep back into her life somehow or he could be revealing her dark secret to ruin her. I'm thinking about asking her outright but what if she denies it and we have plans tommorow so that wont exactly go over well. I could ask the mother or aunt but that will appear sneaky.

I'm thinking of possibly confronting her and making it seem like "we'll work through it if she does" just to get her to admit it. Anyone ever experienced anything like this? Any suggestions?

 

[OfficeSpace]

Just ask her. If that dude wanted to kiss her and she has herpes... Kinda makes me think the dude's lying!

 

[DJDamage]

The guy doesn't know jack-sh1t.

Ignore his ass, he is jealous of you and since he ain't tapping that ass he is trying to destroy her relationship with you.

It is illegal for her doctor to give that info - patient confidentiality. Even if she had something, she certainly wouldn't tell anyone including anybody in her family.

If you want you can always tell her that as a healthy person who engage in sex, you have a yearly checkup and ask her to join you.

DJD

 

[spider_007]

Just ask her. If that dude wanted to kiss her and she has herpes... Kinda makes me think the dude's lying!

BRILIANT!!!!!



I'd say: "Your buddy called me and told me an inerasting story...." You can puirty much tell by her reaction if she is laying or if she is telling the truth.

 

[Skel]

Next!

 

[Taviii]

Next!

Exactly

 

[Desdinova]

If you want you can always tell her that as a healthy person who engage in sex, you have a yearly checkup and ask her to join you.

I'd go this route. The dude could be lying, but he could be telling the truth. No sense in playing around when it comes to something like this, unless he's well known to be a compulsive liar. If she tests negative, you can safely discredit anything he says. Don't bring up the phone call to your date, or you're going to run into trouble with her playing the "trust" card on you.

I hope to hell you've been smart enough to wear a condom.

 

[bullseye12345]

The deal is, in about an hour i am going to contact her and ask her outright. BUT i'm going to make it seem like "eh its just a rash" but you need to tell me. Trust or no trust, i've only hung out with this girl for a month not a year. Why would she really pull out a trust card on that?

And yes I've worn a condom, i dont **** around.

If found out to be fallacious, I'm going to tell her this has given me a scare and that we should both go std tested anyway before we have intercourse again.

 

[Desdinova]

Why would she really pull out a trust card on that?

Women can be funny creatures. No matter how nicely you do it, accusing her of a disease will cause her to have an emotional reaction. Even though you may pose it as a question, she'll take it as an accusation. When you get a woman's emotions running haywire in the negative, they'll get defensive. That's when she'll ask, "Well, don't you trust me?" Women will do this when they request that you have sex without a condom.

Those are the worst words to come out of a woman's mouth, and it's usually a trap. You either have sex with her and risk catching a disease, or you refuse sex and have her pulling a "you don't trust me" guilt trip until she ditches you.

Your best bet is to avoid the trap, get tested together, and share the results. Never solely rely on a woman's spoken word for fact or truth.

 

[Shiftkey]

I was under the impression that you can't test for herpes like other STDs and that it can only be identified visually. Then again it was the Planned Parenthood volunteers that told me this, so who knows?

 

[KarmaSutra]

Lots of if's and buts flying around. I would call her and and just put your big toe forward and ask her direct, nonchalant and with some cooth, but direct anyway. Some things are best not fvcking around with. This being at the top of that list brother.

If she didn't give you anything cut his throat. If she did cut them both.

 

[bullseye12345]

UPDATE:

I called her and confronted her about it. She told me it was bull**** THEN her mother told me it was bull****. She also encouraged me to call her relatives and ask them too.

I'm quite sure i'm dealing with a sociopath in this guy. Anyways I called this person back up left a voice mail. I told him he is not to contact me, her, or her family. If he does he's going to deal with me personally. That should put an end to it. The guy is a shrimp that looks like revenge of the nerds.

I'm pretty sure he wanted me to fly off the handle so he could get me out of the picture. So the situation is basically over with now, unless he still persists to be involved with my reality in any way. Then i'm going to take a trip to his house to say hello.

 

[DJDamage]

UPDATE:

I'm pretty sure he wanted me to fly off the handle so he could get me out of the picture.

Or he wanted you to panic, accuse your g/f and look like a ass if this accusation prove to be false. You just created a big problem in your relationship without a single shread of evidance.

His mission was accomplished.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Or he wanted you to panic, accuse your g/f and look like a ass if this accusation prove to be false. You just created a big problem in your relationship without a single shread of evidance.

His mission was accomplished.

I disagree. Peace of mind is more important than bvllsh!t posturing.

Oh yeah, Cut that li'l pr!cks throat. Columbian necktie style.

 

[bullseye12345]

Or he wanted you to panic, accuse your g/f and look like a ass if this accusation prove to be false. You just created a big problem in your relationship without a single shread of evidance.

His mission was accomplished.

What are you talking about dude, everything went fine. She isn't my gf first of all. Me and her both realize trust is to be built not given away to someone you've known for a month. In fact she is sharing more stuff about her now than ever before.

 

[Bible_Belt]

And yes I've worn a condom, i dont **** around.

yes the guy sounds psycho, but fwiw condoms don't protect against herpes. The blisters are outside of the area covered by a condom. The transmission rate is only reduced by about 50%, which is pretty worthless.

And no, I don't think there is a real test for herpes. They can test for the antibodies in your blood, but that does not necessarily mean that you will ever get blisters or that you will pass the virus to another person. If you have a blister, they can test the blister, but that does not help people who have not had an outbreak, or their first outbreak has passed. Supposedly, people can carry it and spread it without having outbreaks.

If she does have herpes, there will be some meds in her bathroom, usually acyclovir, valtrex, or famvir.

 

[bullseye12345]

UPDATE

He's tried to call me various times throughout the day after I made that call. The thing is is he wont leave a voice mail. He keeps texting me with his number. I purposely wont let him interact with me because I know he wants to be manipulative. I'm exposing him to prove his true colors.

I sent him 2 texts to leave a voice message. Yet he wont leave a voice message and keeps calling and texting his number.

THEN he calls from a restaurant right down the street from my house. (keep in mind he lives 45 mins away). I didn't pick up but when i called the place they told me a short guy with glasses said his phone was broke and needed to use their phone. I told them "oh god this guy is a psycho" and they said "ya he looked extremely creepy".

THEN i get a call from a strange number the voice message goes "Hello this is GIRLS grandmother, whatever GUY says is true and this needs to stop"

I call this number back 40 minutes later suspecting its a trap where he'll answer the phone. I get the grandmother, i ask her about it she says "Ya he just told me to say that, i dont know what it mean't". Keep in mind this woman is 80 years old.

Anyways I have a few options I'm mulling over right now. But this is one of the most messed up situations i've ever had.

 

[undesputable]

Just ask her. If that dude wanted to kiss her and she has herpes... Kinda makes me think the dude's lying!

maybe the guy himself has herpes.

 

[backbreaker]

i would leave her... a girl sometimes can have a guy in her life that is just too much to handle. Think about it like this.

He wouldn't be acting this way, if she didn't give him a reason to act this way. He had to get your number. She had to talk to him to the point to think he still has a flying chance.

If not for that.. is all of this really worth it? **** that, leave, and let her deal with him, and don't talk to her until he's out of the picture, you have better things to do with your time

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

get that ho tested