I want to return my ex back, need advise please

[evan12]

So last year I broke up with a girl that I have relationship with her for 3 months and actually after we engaged directly . there was many issues that lead me to end the relationship, at that time she cried but I told her I love her but cant really continue.

Lately I am missing her a lot and I really want her back, but the problem I dont want to contact her because she is relative to my family and she may tell every body that I am begging her to return . I ll be so embarresed if my family and relative knew I contacted her again .

My question is :
Is my reason really legit or I am just get shy and embarrassed too much for no reason .
And do you think it is normal to contact her after all this time , I guess first it will come to her mind is that I couldn't do better.

I checked her FB profile and her late photos all are sad ( just like me ) which mean she is still didn't get over the breakup which I found it positive sign .

 

[Kailex]

How about you go find someone new that you don't have all these issues with? It's probably way more easier than dealing with all of this.

You are only missing your ex because you have no other options.

 

[Tictac]

Spend your time becoming the man she wants to come back to.

Everything else is a waste of time.

 

[Outlaw_]

These guys gave you solid advise. I would do both simultaneously. All those issues weren't just with her, so work on your issues while you find someone else.

Then, you will be posting happy pics on your FB page & she will see that & want you back!

 

[evan12]

How about you go find someone new that you don't have all these issues with? It's probably way more easier than dealing with all of this.

You are only missing your ex because you have no other options.

That is partially true , I am missing her lately because I feel so lonely and bored. But I rethinked again and I thought she was not that bad my relationship with her , I have another view now .

Spend your time becoming the man she wants to come back to.

I was the one who did the breakup not her, so I am already the man she wanted .

I still didnt get answer to my question

 

[Çharismo]

The answer to your question:-

You don't technically know what will come to her mind.

You initiated the break-up and for reasons only you know. Man up and move on. A lot of time has passed since you communicated with her...keep it that way. There is no point in stalking and obsessing over someone you broke up with. This was in the past and there is no need to communicate with her. You'll open up old wounds that don't need to be opened. Start to get busy in your life and pursue other women rather than focusing on your ex. You are not in a healthy state of mind. Correct yourself before you regret going back. Hit the gym, get second a job just do something to occupy your time...

Read the Don Juan bible and grab your nuts. :rockon:

 

[VladPatton]

You have zero options and you're back pedaling towards your ex. The worse place to be. Get a grip and stop thinking about her. Advance forward and look to meet a girl that's better than your last. Never go back to an ex.

 

[evan12]

Çharismo and Vlad , Thank you for your advise .

In fact I am really not in my best psychological health, I think I am suffering from medium depression with a strong feeling of loneliness and that made me feel there is nothing to do in my life and I started craving the happiness that I was in when I was with her .

But beside that I was with a couple of women and I found she was the most one who loved me and was matched to me.
I want to heel first before I decide to call her or no but I am feeling I am just getting worse and the much I get worse the much the idea of calling her become more appealing.
I asked my question here because I wanted independent opinion

Hit the gym, get second a job

Man I am in the gym and I have an amazing job , just last month I become the top 5% salaries in Canada , and I am studying for a degree at night. the problem is with loneliness it really killing me inside.

 

[Leprechaun2013]

So last year I broke up with a girl that I have relationship with her for 3 months and actually after we engaged directly . there was many issues that lead me to end the relationship, at that time she cried but I told her I love her but cant really continue.

It's been over a year that you broke up. Why don't you have another girlfriend?

Getting engaged only after 3 months?

I checked her FB profile and her late photos all are sad ( just like me ) which mean she is still didn't get over the breakup which I found it positive sign .

Maybe she looks sad about something else and not about you.

In fact I am really not in my best psychological health, I think I am suffering from medium depression

If she turns you down that will make you more depressed.

It's about you time you've moved on getting your life in a positive direction, being depressed over her isn't going to change anything. A whole year wasted being depressed over her for nothing. How much more time are you going to waste being depressed?

 

[CrimsonPanther]

in my book you should NEVER want to get your ex back. it sux.
she is your ex for a reason. eliminate the reason, but find a new one. you can never be better with an ex. go with me on this one, mate. i speak from experience. but try it. go meet other girls, flirt like crazy, and you will see how fast you will forget the ex. just try it.

 

[evan12]

What are you waiting for give her a call

What holding me is that she might tell my relatives and friends that I called her not sure really why I feel ashamed here. Also I felt I ll not be the buyer this time , and kind of she will have the hand up so it will lead to power imbalance in relationship , which make it hard for me to discuss the issues that already led to breakup , also that issues come to my mind again and I questioned myself if I ever will be able to live with them.

So I am thinking in calling her not like a desperate guy crying but just to ask her if she want to give our relationship another try so I can keep the balance of power on the middle at least, also it will help us to find ourself again instead of returning back in an emotional way .

 

[jc_80]

I'm not going to give the stay away from ex speech. It's your life and your desire. But I will say this is the dumbest reason I've heard for not calling up a girl - I don't want her to tell people. What's more important, going after what you want or whether people know about it? Be a man and go after what you want. Follow the advice from the poster above if you do.

 

[evan12]

After a lot of thinking , it seem my loneliness is the main motivator to get her back , I do still like her , but there was a lot of issues that pushed me to end it , and nothing from that will be changed now , actually it will be worse . hopefully I can find a woman soon .

But I will say this is the dumbest reason I've heard for not calling up a girl

Good to hear that , then if I want to call her nothing will stop me .

 

[Tenacity]

Evan,

What were the issues that made you break up with her and ARE those issues still present? Are those issues fixable?

I'm all for NEXTING chicks, but I will tell you the quality of women out here are ****ty as a whole. If the chick loves you, was good to you, and if the issues you had with her COULD be reasonably worked out, why not just roll with her and see where it goes?

I Nexted some chicks in the past that I wish I could go BACK and start up the relationship again because I was thinking that I could go out and find this SEA of quality chicks. Well, this "sea" of quality chicks is a fallacy at best. If the chick looks good, treats you right....you got to look at whatever the issues are and try to work on them if possible.

 

[rugby11]

Everything here is something that should be taken with patience and kindness to yourself.

 

[scrouds]

I want to return my ex back, need advise please

Sorry, no returns after 30 days

 

[Desdinova]

Lately I am missing her a lot and I really want her back,

When you're missing your ex, you should come up with lists of her good and bad points. Look at that list, and then start looking for a woman who does not have those bad points.

One thing I've discovered with going back to ex-gfs... The fact that you two broke up is already a major red flag. The bad points don't go away with a breakup. They may go into remission, but they always come back.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Evan,

Loneliness and lack of options is exactly why I groveled back to my ex (plus being too lazy to jump back in the dating scene, which I'll expound upon below), and it finished disastrously. I have two suggestions:

1) Forget your ex entirely and learn everything you can about game, get out there, and start hitting up girls left and right (as much as time permits you to) Train yourself up to see that if one girl walks/doesn't work out, you're confident enough in your abilities to get back out there and pull another one.

2) Do whatever it takes to get your ex back - I mean whatever it takes Lots of money, lots of time and energy, pleading, begging, becoming someone else, and hopefully then your situation predictably collapses in the most painfully imaginable way and you get brought back to my first suggestion but with a furious desire to make it happen since you will have no safety net to fall back on. Sink or swim. See, I figured (with my ex) - we used to have lots of great sex, we get along alright (complete rationalization on my part - we got along fine, yes, but she had about as much personality as a lamp), and I wouldn't have to start from the bottom and hustle for a new girl. I simply didn't want to put in the work to get a new girl. Pure laziness, and I paid for it. Don't slip back to familiar turf because it's comfortable. You're actually depriving yourself in the long run

 

[evan12]

So just to give you an update, luckly my courses started and my feeling in lonelyness went down , so the idea of getting her back become less appealing to me.
Thank for every body here , I was really needing some independent options