I want to avoid sex now

[oldspice891]

Let me say this forum has been huge in transforming me from a guy that knew nothing about women to getting a great and attractive girlfriend and finally getting laid. You guys are awesome and thanks for the advice. I need some real help here guys.

i have terrible performance anxiety. Had 2 bad sexual experiences where I couldn't pop a boner years ago and it killed my confidence. Been dating this girl for 4 months now and though we've had sex numerous times, I have trouble getting an erection every other time. If I do, we have sex and I'll bust after two minutes tops.

I've gone to a Dr and he gave me Levitra and I took it once but she doesn't like me taking it cuz she says it won't help me train my body to overcome it. Been talking to a therapist now about it and gone for 3 sessions about it.

It's tough man. This girl said she's horny all the time and exes would have sex 3 times and a day and couldn't keep up. Saying that made me hugely insecure and I honestly don't know why she's with me if I can meagerly Fukk her once and she can have any guy she wants. if I don't get It up she wants to talk it over. Shes pretty supportive cuz it took me 2 months to get comfortable for sex. She says it's ok and we're partners but I can't imagine she doesnt want to call it quits. She says she really likes me for me and does the whole real girlfriend thing. We've taken a trip together too and she tells everyone about me. I just don't get why she seems understanding and still wants to be with me if she's basically a nympho and I leave her completely unfulfilled. I don't understand why she'd want to be my girlfriend if I can't have sex properly.

Each time it happens i wonder when she'll finally have enough even tho she wants to help me.

Even tho she Pushed to make it exclusive and do the meet the parents, I sometimes wish she could cheat on me so I don't have to deal with it. She took my virginity but I don't get whats so great about sex? It seems meh to me. Everytime I don't pop wood and we get into this whole thing about it, it just makes me want to forget it all together. I need some genuine help here guys I've tried all my options and donno what to do. I'm 23 and she's 22 btw. Thanks.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

There are so many considerations and you aren't telling us much. 1. Do you look at porn? 2. How seriously attracted to your gf are you? 3. Are you depressed? 4. What kind of physical shape are you in?

 

[oldspice891]

1) I used to jack off to porn a lot but I quit 2 months ago for good. The first time I busted a nut was wanking it to porn and I'd just wank it without getting hard first to porn. I donno if that ruined my wiring to get aroused.

2) Im very attracted. I used to have a huge crush on her when we were friends for months before we dated. She has a perfect body and nice face. I mean I'll check out other women at work but I think everyone does that? However, I can't ever recall a time a woman has given me wood from her presence. Never gotten wood from grinding. Sounds cheesy but I'll miss her a bit sometimes if she isnt around

3) I used to be a very depressed person growing up but shed that mindset a year ago.

4) pretty decent. I try to gym it 3 times a week. Lifting routines + cardio.

I asked my therapist if I was gay or something? To be honest I fear that but I've never liked or had crushes on men. Since first grade I've always had crushes on women and have no intention of doing anything with a guy that just seems gross

 

[oldspice891]

I used to be fat and was insecure about my body and her seeing me naked but I've mostly gotten over that now

 

[SharinganUser]

If I do, we have sex and I'll bust after two minutes tops.

This is easily solved. You need to start thinking of your wank sessions as training sessions. Next time you wank, go until you are about to bust and then stop. Once you've calmed down repeat the process. It also helps to use a condom so that you can get used to it. It's a great way to build your endurance and if you keep doing it, then eventually the women will have trouble keeping up with you.

 

[Gro0ver]

I was in the same situation as you many years ago, it’s a tough place to be but have faith man! In time things will be alright and you’ve got the perfect remedy in a supportive gf. Now you just need a positive mental attitude!

- Relax and don’t worry about it. If you’re with her and things don’t go well then just laugh it off, it’s no big deal man and won't be a long-term issue
- Practice makes perfect
- After awhile you will be so relaxed around her/not care so much that it will just happen naturally

The problem is psychological – caring too much and have too much anxiety instead of letting nature do what it wants to do. Don't bother with drugs if you don't have any issues getting it up when masturbating.

Remember that you can satisfy her “needs” in other ways as well. Get working on those foreplay skills, they’ll always be useful.

Things will get better with time dude, I absolutely guarantee it. I wish someone had said this to me all those years ago!

 

[Mike32ct]

You're not gay. My guess is you are still recovering from the porn. Two months isn't that long yet. Your body hasn't fully adjusted to being with a real female yet.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I quit 2 months ago for good.

You're not out of it yet. It takes at least 3 whole months to flush that **** out.