Hi there,
This thread is for guys who want to benefit the most out of their relationships. Whether it be sexually, socially, financially or any other "lly" that holds value in your life. I believe that each of us want to get the most out of our relationships and I'm imagining you want your relationships with women to be as pleasurable and beneficial experience as possible.
Firstly, I must give credit to Eric Thomas and Pook for the ideas that have shaped my idea for this thread.
Mutualism definition: Mutualism is the way two organisms of different species biologically interact in a relationship in which each individual derives a fitness benefit
The focus of this post is aimed at guys who are interested and/or involved in relationships.
I believe that most of us want at the core of each relationship of ours some benefit to ourselves. Whether it be
1. You and your accountant (you're not going to see him or her just to chat socially or for the sheer exhalation of poring over financial statements. You are seeing them so that you benefit financially)
2. You and your ONS (you're benefiting sexually)
3. You and your parents (you benefit by them caring for you and providing all the necessities of life as a child)
4. You and a checkout chick (You're benefiting by getting your groceries processed and she is getting paid to do so)
and finally, and most pertinently to this forum, your relationships with women.
"Ahh, of course we want to benefit from our relationships ka_mate," You say.
And it is natural for you as a human being to want to reap benefits from all your relationships. It is a natural thing for us to want. Notice that I said us. Everybody shares this self interest and desire to improve one social, economic, physical, psychological standing in the world.
Hence, your girlfriends or wives also share these desires.
What I propose is as follows
In your longer term relationships with women (>1 month) aim to engender and cultivate a culture of mutualism.
"But what is mutualism?" You ask.
Mutualism definition: Mutualism is the way two organisms of different species biologically interact in a relationship in which each individual derives a fitness benefit
Now this biological definition ripped straight from wikipedia doesn't fully explain the idea that I am conveying.
What I am saying is this. You want your relationship to be a win-win situation and BOTH you and your partner benefit from it.
This may include
- Doing healthy activities with your women whether it be hiking, walking, bike riding, social sport with friends
- Both striving to become better lovers and pleasure the other more effectively sexually. This may include being open and willing to discuss sexual preferences and constantly trying to improve your performance and finding ways to become a better lover.
This to me is a no-brainer. If you can openly discuss sex and are patient and willing to take a bit of constructive criticism then you will become a better lover. I believe this will BENEFIT both you and her greatly.
Mutalism at its finest
For instance
1. If you are able to please her better and make the whole sexual experience better then she is more likely to want sex more often
She benefits: More pleasurable sex
You benefit: More frequent sex and you develop sexual competency
Even if the relationship ends you still have benefited by learning a lot of techniques and tricks to be a better lover in future relationships.
- Undertaking new exciting experiences together. This could include white river rafting, sky diving, dancing classes, going to a concert or comedy show or whatever else you want to try.
Benefits to both of you include: Increased connection after having experienced something exciting together. An enjoyable and exhilarating experience and perhaps the overcoming of certain fears. This I believe ties in well with some of Pook's ideas.
If you are suggesting new and exciting things to do a women will see you as fun, spontaneous, exciting and these are desirable traits in a man.
- Have fun together. Do things that you enjoy and find a girl that enjoys doing similar things to you. If you honestly cannot do anything that you both find enjoyable with a girl, why in the name of God are you with her?
You benefit: You have fun. Fun is good, I don't think I need to explain this
She benefits: She has fun
If you can't enjoy life together then perhaps you shouldn't be together.
When I was at school, one of the older, gentlemanly teachers gave us the following advice
Find a women that motivates and supports you to become a better person
This advice is brilliant. Yes, there will be girls who are not interested in benefiting you and are solely self-interested, disregard them. I would rather be single than in a damaging or draining relationship. Aim to find a women who motivates you to succeed in all aspects of your life and aim to help her in hers. Think of your relationship not as a chore or a battle to get frequent sex with as little effort as possible but a collaborative effort to each live a more fulfilling life.
This thread is for guys who want to benefit the most out of their relationships. Whether it be sexually, socially, financially or any other "lly" that holds value in your life. I believe that each of us want to get the most out of our relationships and I'm imagining you want your relationships with women to be as pleasurable and beneficial experience as possible.
Firstly, I must give credit to Eric Thomas and Pook for the ideas that have shaped my idea for this thread.
Mutualism definition: Mutualism is the way two organisms of different species biologically interact in a relationship in which each individual derives a fitness benefit
The focus of this post is aimed at guys who are interested and/or involved in relationships.
I believe that most of us want at the core of each relationship of ours some benefit to ourselves. Whether it be
1. You and your accountant (you're not going to see him or her just to chat socially or for the sheer exhalation of poring over financial statements. You are seeing them so that you benefit financially)
2. You and your ONS (you're benefiting sexually)
3. You and your parents (you benefit by them caring for you and providing all the necessities of life as a child)
4. You and a checkout chick (You're benefiting by getting your groceries processed and she is getting paid to do so)
and finally, and most pertinently to this forum, your relationships with women.
"Ahh, of course we want to benefit from our relationships ka_mate," You say.
And it is natural for you as a human being to want to reap benefits from all your relationships. It is a natural thing for us to want. Notice that I said us. Everybody shares this self interest and desire to improve one social, economic, physical, psychological standing in the world.
Hence, your girlfriends or wives also share these desires.
What I propose is as follows
In your longer term relationships with women (>1 month) aim to engender and cultivate a culture of mutualism.
"But what is mutualism?" You ask.
Mutualism definition: Mutualism is the way two organisms of different species biologically interact in a relationship in which each individual derives a fitness benefit
Now this biological definition ripped straight from wikipedia doesn't fully explain the idea that I am conveying.
What I am saying is this. You want your relationship to be a win-win situation and BOTH you and your partner benefit from it.
This may include
- Doing healthy activities with your women whether it be hiking, walking, bike riding, social sport with friends
- Both striving to become better lovers and pleasure the other more effectively sexually. This may include being open and willing to discuss sexual preferences and constantly trying to improve your performance and finding ways to become a better lover.
This to me is a no-brainer. If you can openly discuss sex and are patient and willing to take a bit of constructive criticism then you will become a better lover. I believe this will BENEFIT both you and her greatly.
Mutalism at its finest
For instance
1. If you are able to please her better and make the whole sexual experience better then she is more likely to want sex more often
She benefits: More pleasurable sex
You benefit: More frequent sex and you develop sexual competency
Even if the relationship ends you still have benefited by learning a lot of techniques and tricks to be a better lover in future relationships.
- Undertaking new exciting experiences together. This could include white river rafting, sky diving, dancing classes, going to a concert or comedy show or whatever else you want to try.
Benefits to both of you include: Increased connection after having experienced something exciting together. An enjoyable and exhilarating experience and perhaps the overcoming of certain fears. This I believe ties in well with some of Pook's ideas.
If you are suggesting new and exciting things to do a women will see you as fun, spontaneous, exciting and these are desirable traits in a man.
- Have fun together. Do things that you enjoy and find a girl that enjoys doing similar things to you. If you honestly cannot do anything that you both find enjoyable with a girl, why in the name of God are you with her?
You benefit: You have fun. Fun is good, I don't think I need to explain this
She benefits: She has fun
If you can't enjoy life together then perhaps you shouldn't be together.
When I was at school, one of the older, gentlemanly teachers gave us the following advice
Find a women that motivates and supports you to become a better person
This advice is brilliant. Yes, there will be girls who are not interested in benefiting you and are solely self-interested, disregard them. I would rather be single than in a damaging or draining relationship. Aim to find a women who motivates you to succeed in all aspects of your life and aim to help her in hers. Think of your relationship not as a chore or a battle to get frequent sex with as little effort as possible but a collaborative effort to each live a more fulfilling life.