I tried to end things with low interest plate, she wants to talk...

[Infern0]

I made post last week about the plate who was a bit flakey and more to the point just acting hot/cold etc.

However she'd asked that we take this long weekend away together, and I was considering it, but after taking the advice of guys on here (and listening to my gut) i said i didn't think it was a great idea and also that we should go our seperate ways.

She got quite upset and asked why, and i probably made a mistake here but I said hey it doesn't seem like you are overly interested, so i don't want to waste both our time.

Anyway she is now pleading to come over and talk about things, and she says I had it wrong and she's getting really strong feelings for me and that she just is guarded about emotions but she doesn't want to give up on us. She's also acting ignorant about the hot/cold stuff.

There's certainly ego at play here, as I say her IL in me has been wavering from 60-70% on a good day, but i think she thought she had me right were she wanted me, so the shock value of me saying lets forget it has probably raised her above 70% temporarily.

What should i do lads, I do like this girl but i am in danger of developing oneitis over her, i still have some afc in me which i try to control, but when i realised i liked her more than she liked me, i decided to eject just to avoid the pain.

Any advice, she's coming over tonight?

 

[usernamedox11]

sounds like she just likes the chase

 

[Poon King]

I had a plate pull this sh!t with me a few weeks ago actually.

She was acting very interested at first, then started cooling off, flaking, not responding to texts/calls, etc. So I just ignored it and continued business as usual with my other plates. Then she came back with 100 excuses begging for attention and saying how much she likes me. I basically responded by saying "prove it". So she came on strong for a week or two. Then she returned to her flaky ways a few days ago.

I honestly don't give a sh!t at this point. I have other plates and it doesn't really matter if she comes back or doesn't.

My advice is to stop over thinking and analyzing this dumb b!tch. Get more plates and continue focusing your energy on YOURSELF. Oneitis is a form of delusion. It comes from the fantasy that one woman is different from another.

I've been with enough women to know that they are pretty much all the same with a few SMALL differences based on culture, class, intelligence, education, etc. But at their cores.. women don't have enough differences to EVER get oneitis.

The best woman you will ever be with is a woman who thinks she cannot do any better than you. Once she believes she can do better, she will act accordingly. The game is pretty simple.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

You increased her IL so well done there. You did the right thing IMO on that part.

Now the next part - If you think you could develop Oneitis or become AFC, you have to maintain a frame that prevenets that happening. If you touch either of those topics, you are going to screw this up.

Have you got the ability to treat her JUST as a sexual ride AND then multi task on getting another plate to spin. But now, not later.

Even her wanting to ocme over and discuss - I wouldnt have agreed to that and not at my place. I would want to set the task, have her srespond to my request, then I dictate the the place, conversation and what WILL be happening.

If you remain in a good frame on this you will win. Otherwise youlle be posting your AFC story on here in the next few days. Keeps us posted.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

The best woman you will ever be with is a woman who thinks she cannot do any better than you. Once she believes she can do better, she will act accordingly. The game is pretty simple.

OP - and this ^^^ is so true. Frame needs to be maintained in a strong manner.

 

[Infern0]

You increased her IL so well done there. You did the right thing IMO on that part.

Now the next part - If you think you could develop Oneitis or become AFC, you have to maintain a frame that prevenets that happening. If you touch either of those topics, you are going to screw this up.

Have you got the ability to treat her JUST as a sexual ride AND then multi task on getting another plate to spin. But now, not later.

Even her wanting to ocme over and discuss - I wouldnt have agreed to that and not at my place. I would want to set the task, have her srespond to my request, then I dictate the the place, conversation and what WILL be happening.

If you remain in a good frame on this you will win. Otherwise youlle be posting your AFC story on here in the next few days. Keeps us posted.

Ok cool.

Well i already said she could come over so i just need to suck that one up.

But what should I say?

Should i just let her talk, nod my head and say "well i guess we can carry on and see how things go" then just let her do all the persuing?

i dunno that's all i've got

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Absolutely not! That dialogue is the last thing you should do - you must seize the moment.
You will tell her how it will be from now on. Don't be aggressive, but be strong.

Don't just let her talk.
Don't nod your head (that's supplicating)
Don't see how things go

Have a game plan eg,
From now on I want us to etc
I will put matters in place to make sure we etc
I will not tolerate tardiness, lack of interest or low energy from you, flakiness etc

Give consequences! Gawd I wish I was there. This is your chance to get her into line.

If you're too scared to do this then you already have oneitis/AFC.

 

[Desdinova]

However she'd asked that we take this long weekend away together, and I was considering it, but after taking the advice of guys on here (and listening to my gut) i said i didn't think it was a great idea and also that we should go our seperate ways.

She got quite upset and asked why, and i probably made a mistake here but I said hey it doesn't seem like you are overly interested, so i don't want to waste both our time.

Anyway she is now pleading to come over and talk about things, and she says I had it wrong and she's getting really strong feelings for me and that she just is guarded about emotions but she doesn't want to give up on us.

One thing I've noticed about dating is I'll always come to this point where it seems like the IL is fading, but she'll suddenly come out with telling me how much she likes me. It happens to me pretty much every time, so I've learned not to say anything when I'm getting that feeling that her interest is failing. It's almost like she needs to stay away from you for a few days and think about wanting to stay with you.

She's also acting ignorant about the hot/cold stuff.

You confronted her about it? That's a mistake. Don't discuss relationship things unless you're exclusive with her, and even then she should be the one to bring it up.

I know the beginning of any relationship is full of uncertainty and we've all been screwed over by chicks who weren't initially interested. That's why you need to try not giving a 5hit at the beginning and just go with the flow.

 

[El Payaso]

Read a woman's actions not her words.

Women have an incredible power of rationalization and will say all sorts of things despite it being in direct conflict with reality. She likes the fact that you chase after her. It feeds her ego. It makes her feel wanted and she likes having you at her beck and call. It's sort of like a drug.

You suddenly withdrawing your attention and deciding to call it quits was a shock to her hence her begging.

If you take her back this easily she will never, ever value you.

Personally, I'd say take your focus off her and move onto other girls but my mind tells me you'll do otherwise.

 

[Trump]

The best woman you will ever be with is a woman who thinks she cannot do any better than you. Once she believes she can do better, she will act accordingly. The game is pretty simple.

Agree.

Just be aware when they do or say things too intensely at the beginning. They don't really care about you, they are just excited at that moment someone is giving them attention or turned on by them. It will wear off eventually.

I just try to have fun with them. If they give any grief, I always act as if I'm going to be sleeping with a female movie star the next day.

 

[Infern0]

Well i have decided to just withdraw on this one, as I do feel myself slipping back into AFC mindset with her, which I don't want to do. So better to be safe than sorry, i'll just do a slow fade out.