I think you should pay . . . .What the f*ck???

[WRX_is_like_SEX]

Hello followers of the forum . .

. . .So here goes . .I met this girl online, a nice MILF of 30something . . .By and by date went well . She's fairly tasty and interesting! .We sat and ate in a restaurant . . .When the waiter brings the check, we continue chatting, and then I casually say " Shall we pay??", to which she replies . . . .

. .I think you should pay, and we leave:nervous:

. .Being a dignified person, I did not make a spectacle of myself, just payed and left it at that . . .However, this left me with a very sour taste in my mouth, as I would consider this quite brazen and a sign of bad politics/manners...Last I checked, the hookers on Craigslist expect donations . .Best of all . .She took a take away box with her . .

Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill, or is this a case of you win some and you lose some . . .Worth pursuing???

 

[Metaphysical]

Some women get off on making dudes pay for them. They just like that control and power they can have over certain weak men.

Depending how much the bill was, i would have paid it or paid half to save myself the headache, and then never seen that woman again.

 

[WRX_is_like_SEX]

Look . . I mean, she did say thanks for lunch in the end, and the bill was not particularly steep . . Like 39$... But man . .For the love of God . . .:nervous:

 

[619joe]

Man especially if you offered it,just pay for the first stupid date. Its such a prick move to say that man.You look like the biggest tool splitting the bill like that especially on the first date.Just pay the stupid thing.

She worded it like a dumb **** though so Im not sure depends how you liked her during the date.Next time let her offer a place for you guys to go then tell her "Hmm I would go but Im strapped for cash".From what Ive experienced Ive had offers come up left and right just by saying that

 

[No Leaf Clover]

You ask a girl out, you pay the bill.

Don't listen to these nerds who say the girl needs to foot the bill on the first date. It'll be akward and you probably won't get a second date.

 

[LookTowardsTheFuture]

You shouldn't be going on a DINNER date in the first place.

Go on an ACTION dates. Please take a look at the DJ Bible!

You must find out about her before you pay any bills for her. Women like this, as with nice guys, need a swift kick in the ass!

 

[WRX_is_like_SEX]

I guess this is turning in to a mountain out of a mole hill . . .Anyhow , onwards and outwards. . .

. . . .But gentlemen, if you ever dealt with the amount of cunning and ungreatful women I have, you would think twice...That is all!

. . . . .Next . .

 

[tsmith2334]

Poor move on her part. Sure, men should pay on a date, but they don't have to and there should be no sense of entitlement.

There is nothing I like more than treating a girl who hesitantly accepts it... then you know she's a keeper...

 

[Charlie Gordon]

If you refuse to pay for your dates out of principle, then you may end up cranking off more often than you would prefer.

Of course, you may eventually find a woman who does not care about who pays how much of the tab, and she will put an end to your cranking off.

But there are unfortunately a lot of women who want to be taken care of.

In this day of age it is a little mind-boggling that any woman would want to be taken care of at the dinner table after fighting so hard and for so long to be accepted socially as equal to man.

I took a woman hiking. First date. Went well. We kissed. She suggested we get some food. I told her I was tapped. She insisted that it was inexpensive. We eat. Bill comes. More than I was hoping to spend on my slim budget. I throw out a few 20's. Probably covered everything but the tip. She got all awkward and requested separate checks.

I called her a day later. She got back to me a week after that upset that I had not taken care of the bill. That set the tone for a lot of tricks and games. She turned out to be a real leach. Go figure.

If you meet this girl and want to score with her: pay for her damned dinner. Take care of her in the very old fashioned sense of a man providing for a woman. And remember to wear a condom.

Or refuse to pay for her and search a lot harder for a woman who can take care of herself.


Personally, I never offer to pay for an entire meal when I'm dating a woman. It feels like I'm paying for sex. That's the same reason I laugh in a woman's face if I'm at a bar and she asks me to buy her a drink. If one of my friends that I came in with asked me to buy him a drink, I'd clown on him. What is some random bar girl expecting? I honestly wonder if she is a pro or thinks I'm a complete idiot.

If I've been seeing a girl for a while, then we usually take turns paying.

 

[WRX_is_like_SEX]

I Probably covered everything but the tip. She got all awkward and requested separate checks.

I called her a day later. She got back to me a week after that upset that I had not taken care of the bill. That set the tone for a lot of tricks and games. She turned out to be a real leach. Go figure.

You see. . . .You are not wrong . . .I don't mind paying, put paying for some one I know a little . . . A combination of things happened here . .

. I asked only if she wants to hang out, but, agreed to it, when she casually suggested lunch, when I should not have . But on the positive side, I quickly discovered that she is not worth getting involved with . . . .

. . . .And of course when faced with these awkward situations it is always proper to do the gentlemanly thing and just pay . .

 

[Microphone Fiend]

You shouldn't be going on a DINNER date in the first place.

Go on an ACTION dates. Please take a look at the DJ Bible!

You must find out about her before you pay any bills for her. Women like this, as with nice guys, need a swift kick in the ass!

What he said. Invest time in a woman to see if she is worth investing money in.

 

[SuavePlaya]

Forget that we are splitting the bill if anything. What value does she bring to the table that I have to pay the bill myself. I agree it wasn't that expensive, but that's not the point. The point is this type of behavior develops into a habit.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

Unless you arrange it in advanced then it's up to you to pay. You don't just sit there hoping she will pay for her half. That is stupid. Like being in the Sahara desert wishing for rain.

Common custom is the man pays unless it's predetermined. Which is why you need to have the guts to set that contract in advanced next time.

You don't sneak a "shall we pay" in at the last minute. That is cowardly. If you wanted her to pay then tell her way in advance before you even go out or if you had wanted double dutch then let her know that also.

Don't be afraid to set terms. Women do it to men all the time.

 

[RokyRoc]

The first date, you always pay. Regardless. Period

Think of it as a screening for the woman. If she is fun and charming and cool there will be other dates more dates that she can pay for. But in this society in this time. You make the first move you pay for the first date. And if you like to go to expensive restaurants on the first date, then well I hope you are loaded.

Going minigolfing or some other fun things is a nice way to not pay too much money AND get to know the girl.

 

[Franky Four Fingers]

Try this for starters;

http://sosuave.com/rondavid/succeed53.htm

Another article I read (I think on sosuave) went along the lines of a test to see if a women was with you for money (fully or somewhat), which went something like what happened to you.

At the end of the meal when the waitress brings you the check you let is sit there for a while and if the woman offers to either pay for the check or to split it then she wasn't with you for money. But if she says EXACTLY what you wrote; "I think you should pay, and we leave" then she is in it for the money.

Thats generally speaking, not 100% of the time. But personally I would consider it a red flag nonetheless.

 

[DonGorgon]

SHE HAS WHATS CALLED A VAGINA...
Its almost as valuable as cold hard cash in todays world. The world continues to spin only cause of mens desire for it and the work they do to get it...

For every one man she dates who does not pay... she will date 30 others who will... These are the realities you must accept as a straight man ..

YOUR OPTIONS!?

- go gay
- become a tranny
- be selibate
- die
- payup

 

[WRX_is_like_SEX]

OK Gentlemen! Thank you all very much for your contributions . . .All the points raised were right and legitimate, but true to form I lean toward the opinion that this was a red flag . .One thing is for sure...It is a bit of a gray area .Next . .

. . .No worries . . This Thursday, hopefully taking this other girl to the zoo . . .Not an issue, as my members pass allows one free guest, and it should be great fun!:crackup: :crackup:

 

[Charlie Gordon]

YOUR OPTIONS!?

- go gay
- become a tranny
- be [c]elibate
- die
- payup

- find a woman who is not looking for a free meal.

Seriously, it's possible in today's society.

Ten points to the person who suggested "action dates." By the way. Good call. You'll see that backfired in my anecdote but it earned me a kiss without opening my wallet.

My current girlfriend took me out to dinner after our first date, brought me home and had her way with me, and then dropped me off at home the next morning dressed in an over-sized t-shirt. I got the hint that she was into me. I guess I had something better to offer her than my money. Still got the t-shirt. Still got the girl.

If you want nothing but sex out of the women you date, then paying for dinner will further your cause. There's no argument there. Also, let's say you drive a Lamborghini and your date is a graduate student... might not hurt to take care of her. It's also not a big deal to grab the check if you're eating at a Denny's. Heck, the more money you have, the more free meals you can treat her to. In fact, if money is not an issue for you, then we shouldn't even be having this discussion. But if you're some poor soul who's hard for cash, then you shouldn't have to sell the shirt off your back to capture the companionship, loyalty, or passion of a potential mate. Hell, meals add up. You could probably get a hooker for cheaper if you're really into that kind of thing.

 

[thechallenger]

on the first date you owe her nothing!
the wheels are already in motion so grab the handle bars my freind

 

[Teej]

You asked for the date, you pay; that's how I look at it.