i think i screwed up big time, need help

[FBGangsta]

So, I was talking to this girl online, who I like, and havent seen since school ended. I wanted to hang out or something, so I went for the number, but she said nothing, and after a while, she just left.

See it for yourselves:
me: well, i g2g, but we should like hang out sometime, just give me ur number and we'll see
me: thats if u want to do something
*insert her sn here* signed off at 12:39:14 AM.

Now, she has a boyfriend, thats why I only said hang out. But, I feel stupid. I really hope this won't be something she talks about with her friends and laughs about. I mean, she's always nice with me, and we were having a good convo online, so I thought I'd number close. But, well ,what can I do now? Talk to her again and pretend I was on drugs, so I act like I don't remember ****?
Or should I bring it up again? Is there anyway I can save this and still look smooth?

 

[Ronin I]

First of all the " thats if u want to do something" line was weak -

the first rule of closing - you ask for the close and then you SHUT UP. So ask for the number and then don't say anything.

Anyway - why do you feel the need to look smooth- if anything I'd call her out for just signing off and not at least saying goodbye. If you were having a convo with her that's just plain rude.

 

[FBGangsta]

well, i waited like 5 mins before the "thats if u want to do something"

 

[drixsa]

heres what you should of said:

hey i gotta run, but we should definatley hang out some time

her: yea

here, why dont you give me your # and ill give you a call later

 

[-HPNOTQ-]

Sorry bro...

But I see a couple easily to fix errors.

First, you tried to make a date on instant message chatting. That puts the ball in her court. Now YOU'RE waiting..and waiting..and waiting (as you said: 5 minutes) for her response. NEVER make a date while chatting online, that's what phones are for.

And like Ronin said, that's a VERY weak line asking if thats something she'd like to do.

You should have made the date on the phone. Being on a computer kills a lot of emotion, in which, your C/F attitude can be preceived in different ways. Unlike the telephone, you don't have the advantage of sound, voice, sarcasm, and other gestures you lose on Instant Message Chatting.

I know what you're gonna say: "How the heck can I make the date if I don't have her number...aren't I trying to get her number now you idiot HPNOTIQ"

Yeah, you are..but..you associated by giving you her number, she's also giving you a date.

Let me explain, you can get the number without making it seem like your intention is to go out with her on a date.

Next time, try something like: "Hey, my eyes are getting blurry because of this computer screen, I'm going to call you for a second before I go to bed"

By stating this like this, your intentions of a date are masked. After you get the number, NOW you can initiate a date.

 

[FBGangsta]

Thanks for the comments, but telling me what I should have done only helps for future occasions, but doesn't really help with this one. Don't I wish I could go back in time 12 hours.....

Just help me with what to do next to save it. What should I say to her next time I talk to her (on IM )? As you can see, I'm only a rookie DJ, or a student DJ, lol, so I do need your help. So, all I want is advice for next time I talk to her.

 

[WatchMeWalk]

If her IL was high enough, she wouldn't have signed off that abruptly over one silly gaffe. Doesn't sound like she is worth the effort.

 

[FBGangsta]

Wouldn't having a boyfriend affect the chaces of me getting her number? She probably thought I was asking her out, I meant to hang out just like friends.

But, well, any advice on what to say when I talk to her?

 

[Ded_Skin_Mask13]

unless you just wanna be friends with her gangsta, avoid chicks that are already dating. Its obvious disaster waiting to happen!
Theres no point in trying to DJ a chick that is already going out with some bastard. And that last line with "if" might have killed your chances. Be straightforward, and if she doesn't reply at all, then don't insist or say another word about it and move on!

SHE ISN'T WORTH YOUR TIME!!

There is nothing to save here unless you just wanna be friends.
forget about her, she's taken.


what is your screen name?

 

[FBGangsta]

my sn is "IU Dave4"

Well, I don't know if I want to be friends or not. I mean, I do, but I'm afraid if I become friends with her I'll be stuck in the friends zone when she's available again.

If I do want to become friends, what should I say? Guess you could just IM me or if anyone has any more advice I'll appreciate it.

 

[xblitz44x]

It's not how you asked. You asked just fine. Shyt happens. So she signed off on you, so what? Don't take it personally. If she wasn't into you it was all in her crazy mind. And there is a good chance that she was, but stopped herself from acting on because of her boyfriend. You'll find that some girls will cheat and others won't, it depends more on the girl than it does how much you "DJ" them. Besides, I don't think you'd want a girl who has history of being unfaithful anway.

-Blitz

 

[FBGangsta]

She was at her friend's house, maybe her friends were around and wanted to act cool by not giving me the number. But I think I'm glad I didn't get the number, otherwise, we would hang out but probably only as friends, cause of the boyfriend. Then it'd be hard as hell to get out of the friends zone.

And yeah blitz, I thought about that too, maybe she'd feel guilty hanging out with me while having a boyfriend if she likes me, otherwise I don't think she'd have a problem.

 

[xblitz44x]

FB,

Either way, fvck it. It's over. Let her talk all she wants, if she doesn't like you then she does you no good. It's ok if people aren't attracted to you. It's going to happen. It happens to everybody, even celebrities. You need to find out who YOU are, then be able to portray that to others. From there it's up to them, you have to present yourself to the most chicks you can, for the best chance that you'll find a (or many) person(s) that like you. When you've found them (and you'll know) you can do and say whatever you want because they'll HELP you. They'll give you all the hints they can, or they'll ask for YOUR number...so long as you are honest, real, and upfront with them.

Guys here will accuse chicks of playing games, and mind-fvcking guys when those same guys STARTED IT. When girls see games they start playing. But if you are honest and upfront it could very well cause them to put their shield down and be real with you. They see you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position, and that makes them feel more comfortable to do the same. Just be real man, don't have spite. Let your ego go and start showing your TRUE self off.

-Blitz

 

[Phrozen]

First of all, don't even bother saying aspiring DJ when you actually typed out a line like that second one. Read the DJ bible, it is clear that you don't even have the basic attitude yet. I am not trying to be mean at all, it is just clear that you could benefit from its message.

With your conversation, you might be lucky and she was just disconnected. If thats not the case then just forget this *****. She doesn't even have the decency to even respond or say good bye to you. Why would you bother with someone like that? There are plenty of good looking girls out there that actually come with a personality too. Don't get hung up on one that thinks she can treat people like **** just because she looks pretty good.

If you decide that this situation is worth a saving attempt then you need to be firm. No more "if u want to". The only thing that matters is what you want to do and whether or not you can convince her that its worth it to join you. Be firm and ask her why she just left in the middle of your conversation the other day. Call her out on not even replying or saying bye. If she apologizes and seems to respond well to your new take charge attitude then perhaps you should go for her number again.

 

[FBGangsta]

Well, the "thats if u want to do something" line wasn't actually my idea. I waited for about 5 mins for her response, and then I didn't know what to do. I asked my friend what to do, and he told me to use that line.....guess he's just an AFC. I asked him cause girls seem to dig him, then again, most just as a friend. Should have never listened to an AFC, but I did, so I screwed up.

From now on I'll just have some ppl from this website on my buddy list in case of emergencies.

But as I said, I will forget about this girl until she's single.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by FBGangsta
So, I was talking to this girl online, who I like, and havent seen since school ended. I wanted to hang out or something, so I went for the number, but she said nothing, and after a while, she just left.

See it for yourselves:
me: well, i g2g, but we should like hang out sometime, just give me ur number and we'll see
me: thats if u want to do something
*insert her sn here* signed off at 12:39:14 AM.

Now, she has a boyfriend, thats why I only said hang out. But, I feel stupid. I really hope this won't be something she talks about with her friends and laughs about. I mean, she's always nice with me, and we were having a good convo online, so I thought I'd number close. But, well ,what can I do now? Talk to her again and pretend I was on drugs, so I act like I don't remember ****?
Or should I bring it up again? Is there anyway I can save this and still look smooth?

I'm gonna bold EVERYTHING that went wrong.

me: well, i g2g, but we should like hang out sometime, just give me ur number and we'll see
me: thats if u want to do something
*insert her sn here* signed off at 12:39:14 AM.

plus I would of traded that 'hang out' for sumthin else but blah...

wait, it doesn't end here though...

So, I was talking to this girl online, who I like, and (but) havent seen since school ended. I wanted to hang out or something, so I went for the number, but she said nothing, and after a while, she just left.

no wonder...

wait, there's more...

Now, she has a boyfriend, thats why I only said hang out. But, I feel stupid. I really hope this won't be something she talks about with her friends and laughs about. I mean, she's always nice with me, and we were having a good convo online, so I thought I'd number close. But, well ,what can I do now? Talk to her again and pretend I was on drugs, so I act like I don't remember ****?
Or should I bring it up again? Is there anyway I can save this and still look smooth?

Dude, Where are those two spherical things under your penis called testicals??? Stop worrying!!!

I can tell by JUST the way you're talk'N - U ARE NOT CONFIDENT AT ALL!!! The problem isn't because she ignored you on some not-in-person internet chit-chat, it's because you are afraid of every little thing. Tell me, when the wind blows - do you lift off the ground? Make a man of you.

You like this girl? Yes!
What do you want? To go out with her
THEN DO IT!!! Does it matter she has a boyfriend? No. Why? because her have'N a boyfriend doesn't change the fact that YOU still want her. Right? She is not suddenly ugly and unatractive because she has a boy right???

U fuck'd up N that's final. Learn from it and move on.

What do u have to learn?

I have to become more confident,
I have to learn how to be a man,
I have to ask a girl for her number when I FIRST meet her - NOT WHEN AFTER A SCHOOL YEAR AND THE SUMMER ALREADY STARTED!
I go for I want to just because I do.

do yourelf a favor and read this: http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30862

GL

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by FBGangsta
Well, the "thats if u want to do something" line wasn't actually my idea. I waited for about 5 mins for her response, and then I didn't know what to do. I asked my friend what to do, and he told me to use that line.....guess he's just an AFC. I asked him cause girls seem to dig him, then again, most just as a friend. Should have never listened to an AFC, but I did, so I screwed up.

From now on I'll just have some ppl from this website on my buddy list in case of emergencies.

But as I said, I will forget about this girl until she's single.

AFC? U sound like a bigger afc to me. Don't go blame your friends. YOU have access to golden knowledge and YOU screwed up! That sounds like a bigger AFC to me doesn't it?