I Think I Need Help REALLY Fast

[someone800]

I really don't know if I am just cut out for this.

I read thread after thread after thread on this forum and get really pumped up about putting these techniques and lessons learned to use the next day at school.

Then, I am sitting in a classroom with some pretty attractive girls.



And I sit.

I am really frustrated as I realized today that in all my classes, at my lunch, etc, I just sit quiet and don't do much. I mean, I feel like I am improving slightly as far as being slightly more loose as a person with my friends (then again, my old-closest friend who I would go places to do social things and gain experience with girls is being a dushebag lately and ignoring me along with some of his other old friends).

Sometimes now at school or after school, I think to myself that I hate most of the people in the school. Maybe I am just frustrated because I can't be a DJ. I mean, in my classes, you got a half a minute when it starts that people socialize (don't have time to make new friends there) and maybe when it ends (don't have time there either). I feel like I am locked out and can't get in even if I had the skills to. Sure, go ahead and meet new people through after school activities. Well, I was in track, but I quit recently to get a job which I felt was more beneficial. Here is a previous thread about my average school day: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=139349

On top of all this, I am hopeless at making cold approaches. I don't have the nerve to do it because I know if I screw up at school (only real place I have time to practice) that person will be around me for the rest of the school year. Additionally, I am worried if I say "Hey, what's up?" to someone as if they are my friend or wanting to get to know them, it could come across as weird and creepy. Then, by some chance, I get into the conversation and they say, "Uh...nothing?" What can I say then? "How was your weekend?" The thing with that is it is just boring talk and the weekend is only two days of the week.

Interestingly, I read this thread this morning: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=118331
It was very motivational, but then I went through the school day absolutely hopeless.

This is an example of why I am posting this. After the months I have spent here at SoSuave, I have read tons of motivational threads and helpful ones too. I read them the night before school or the morning I get up. But then, I go through the school day, tired and hopeless.

One other thing is my Prom is coming up quick in the next couple weeks I believe. I don't have a date and really want to get one. There is this one girl in one of my classes I might go for as described in this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=141415
The thing is, today in class, like in the other classes, my mind was blank. If I go for pretty much any girl, because of my current/previous lack of socialness, I would most likely never have talked to her. Girls need to get their dresses and a lot of people have asked girls to Prom by now. Really, for this girl, or some other random girl I have never talked to, what can I say? "Hey, you look like a pretty cool person, wanna go to Prom with me?" Yeah...

So, please, any advice would be helpful. Thanks in advance, I appreciate it.

 

[zubs]

You're just going through the phase between the old you and the new you. It's natural.

Sometimes now at school or after school, I think to myself that I hate most of the people in the school.

You need to stop that right now. You are only blaming them for your laziness to change your ways. At my school, i used to dislike a lot of the people. Then i realized that wasnt getting me anywhere. You need to get to know these people before you form opinions about them. You need to step out of your shell and be accepting and nice to everyone. Some will return the acceptance and others won't, but don't ever stop acting friendly.

On top of all this, I am hopeless at making cold approaches. I don't have the nerve to do it because I know if I screw up at school (only real place I have time to practice) that person will be around me for the rest of the school year.

If you screw up, you can just do what you are doing now - don't talk to them.

Additionally, I am worried if I say "Hey, what's up?" to someone as if they are my friend or wanting to get to know them, it could come across as weird and creepy. Then, by some chance, I get into the conversation and they say, "Uh...nothing?" What can I say then? "How was your weekend?" The thing with that is it is just boring talk and the weekend is only two days of the week.

Just talk during class. Don't worry, you wont get caught . Talk about whatever; like how stupid that test was, or how much of a b!tch the teacher was.

You said it yourself, the motivational threads aren't working for you. You need to get your motivation internally. Just realize that after high school, you dont ever have to see these people again. But also, don't you want to be able to look at your hs years and think of how much of a blast you had?

It's your decision.

 

[someone800]

You're just going through the phase between the old you and the new you. It's natural.




You need to stop that right now. You are only blaming them for your laziness to change your ways. At my school, i used to dislike a lot of the people. Then i realized that wasnt getting me anywhere. You need to get to know these people before you form opinions about them. You need to step out of your shell and be accepting and nice to everyone. Some will return the acceptance and others won't, but don't ever stop acting friendly.



If you screw up, you can just do what you are doing now - don't talk to them.




Just talk during class. Don't worry, you wont get caught . Talk about whatever; like how stupid that test was, or how much of a b!tch the teacher was.

You said it yourself, the motivational threads aren't working for you. You need to get your motivation internally. Just realize that after high school, you dont ever have to see these people again. But also, don't you want to be able to look at your hs years and think of how much of a blast you had?

It's your decision.

Thanks for the tips. A lot of the stuff you said makes sense. But there are so little amount of girls to choose from in my classes! That one girl I even mentioned I am having second thoughts on even.
A lot of the hot girls are walking around in the hallways. One of my friends realizes what a ***** I am being with girls and tells me to just go up and say "Hi, I'm Someone800." and stick out my hand. I worry that it is really awkward to see some hot girls in a group walking and talking and then quickly walk or run up to them and do that.
Today I realized how low I am...again. Either the selection/availability/opportunities at my school really is bad, or I just plain lack confidence despite being pumped up before the situation occurs.

Any tips on this? Thanks.

 

[zubs]

I worry that it is really awkward to see some hot girls in a group walking and talking and then quickly walk or run up to them and do that.

That would be awkward, don't listen to your friend, lol!

High school isnt like a club, techniques and openers dont work so well. If you want to get with a girl in high school, get to know her circle of friends.

Then when you see her chatting with them walk up and join in the conversation, then lead the convo of the group somehow. She will say something to you during this if she is interested and then you can say something ****y/funny/flirty. Hope you understand all that.


I wish it were different, but in high school the only hope you have of hooking up with the hot chicks is becoming part of their clique.

 

[BChris]

I was in that same situation in HS and I ended up not going to prom and I haven't seen anybody from HS since graduation.

You say you don't know how to open a conversation well actually you don't have to. The important thing here is commenting as much as you can, This is not about girls this is probably lack of social skills the first step is participate in classes that way everybody knows you have some social skills.

But anyways you should not give to many importance to this situation before you know its over.

Forget about girls for a moment and start developing some basics skills.

*I'm really bad talking on the phone so I decided to call at least 5 stores to ask any stupid question that comes to my mind and its actually working great for me because I'm getting good at it jeje lol. (The first try took me over an hour because i was afraid, yep I'm very bad jeje)

*Another thing I'm doing is learning to eat. Yep everybody goes to different places to eat and you should learn how to order in popular restaurants try going with your friends or with your family every Sunday or when you want to.

*Do you know how to dance well this is another skill you can try developing because girls... well everybody knows girls love to dance..

*Another thing Im doing is walking in the morning. this is really great because it makes you feel good about you.

Just make a list of every skills that you want to have and start developing it at babies steps.

Oh and I recommend reading StevePavlina.com for motivation purposes. I just finish reading this one http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/03/resourcefulness/ and it makes me change my perspective about live.

 

[WaRpEd]

Stop this attitude. "I can't do it" is anti-don juan pure AFC.

You can do it you just have to learn, practice, DO!!!.

Being a true DJ takes many years of sweat, blood, forging, hammering, beating, and getting shot down over and over and over and over and OVER etc.


Remove the word can't from your vocabulary, it's doing you more harm than good.

Good luck on your journey man, and never ever give up.

 

[someone800]

Hey,

Thanks for the tips. I have this bookmarked so thanks for the help.

Anyways, I just wanted to give an update on the girl I mentioned earlier. I decided to talk to one of her good friends I know and tell her about how I want to go to prom with her (she thought it was nice by her reaction). I told her how I try to look for times to talk to her, but she is so quiet that there isn't any real opportunities and her friend seemed to agree.
Anywho, her friend is going to casually talk to her tonight (without mentioning my name) and let me know tomorrow I guess how I can go about this because tomorrow is kind of the "psudo-deadline" for asking a girl to prom.