I think I might have a curse

[biobotz1001]

I've noticed that I do pretty well at getting girls to have some initial interest level in me, even without trying. But they always seem to lose interest proportional to how much interest in them I gain. Recently, someone of seemingly amazing interest level, just went cold a couple of days before moving away, I had been thinking what can go wrong in a couple of days, and with her moving it would mean the curse could not take effect, but alas.

Lots of the time these are girls who have initially high interest levels and initiate contact with me themselves, as opposed to ones that I have to go initiate conversation with and collect their numbers. I'm wondering if that is part of the issue, is interest level more stable if it starts at zero and you build it up, instead of building upon an already existant interest level.

I'm also curious as my surface level is the aspect of me that I put the least work into. My friends would say I kicked ass, but if they gave me any pointers it would probably be surface level stuff. But the girls I meet who know me at the level always seem attracted, then as they get to know me they just lose interest, which is the opposite of what I would expect.

Anyone have any pointers? Thanks.

 

[MDgood]

Good God, you must be doing some awful AFC moves there, dude. It's common sense that the more interest you initially show in a woman, the faster she becomes disinterested, unless she is really, really into you. You're probably not being as much of a challenge as you should.

Are you doing the right thing and smiling and making eye contact?

Are you doing the right thing and talking more about her than yourself?

Are you doing the right thing and asking her open ended questions about her own life?

Are you doing the right thing and applying kino occassionally?

Are you doing the right thing and giving her neg hits and C&F once in a while?

 

[BGMan]

What exactly do you DO? Do you ask them out on dates, or do you just hang around being their "best friend"?

If you ask them out on dates, do it about once a week, and when she first gives you her number, wait at least three days.

What I have found is that women like guys who play hard-to-get and make the woman prove that she's really into him. It's what guys should do, because women build interest more slowly than men. It's like: a woman has an INITIAL Interest Level, and if it's over 50%, you're on her "sexy" list. But on top of that, a woman must have a CUMULATIVE Interest Level based on the man's actions if she's going to stay interested in him. I find this is true for men too, but the CUMULATIVE Interest Level is much more important for women than it is for us.

What it sounds like to me is that while you're getting good INITIAL Interest Level from these chicks, you're actions in the CUMULATIVE Interest Level category are sub par.

BGMan

 

[biobotz1001]

MDgood:
I did good with all those things, but ya I think I might start out as a good challenge, and then lose alot of the challenge.


BGman:
"What exactly do you DO? Do you ask them out on dates, or do you just hang around being their "best friend"?"

Answer: Actually they ask me out on dates, more often then the other way around, so just hanging around isn't an issue.

"What it sounds like to me is that while you're getting good INITIAL Interest Level from these chicks, you're actions in the CUMULATIVE Interest Level category are sub par"

This sounds interesting how do you work on cumulative interest level?

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by biobotz1001
This sounds interesting how do you work on cumulative interest level?

All right.

If you have sufficient initial interest level, you can build cumulative interest level by basically holding back and being rather unavailable and unpredictable.

Have you read Doc Love's stuff? Doc Love seems to sometimes (~10% of the time) be off in reading whether or not a girl has interest, however, his advice on what the guy should do to keep a girl interested in him is dead on.

What you should do on the date is do not mention ANYTHING about past relationships, what you think about girls, what you think about HER, "I love you" (puke!), and constantly asking her, "I am having so much fun, are you? Do you like me? Is there anything I can do to make things better?". Don't talk about heavy subjects as religion, philosophy or politics. In addition, don't make another date at the end of your first date, and don't call her again until a week has passed, and above all, NEVER just chat meaninglessly on the phone. That's what chicks do with other chicks, and so many guys screw up by doing this.

Remember... "The LESS said, the better." -- my dad

If you have a lot of babes approaching you, it must mean you're a pretty attractive guy and that more women have high initial interest in you than with the average joe. But while being a hunk will ensure that more women have high initial interest, it's the cumulative interest that makes all the difference as to whom she STAYS with. If you want to know why a handsome AFC can lose an HB9 to, say, a shorter, nerdier DJ, cumulative interest explains all that.

BGMan

 

[biobotz1001]

reply

"What you should do on the date is do not mention ANYTHING about past relationships" - I only mention this if directly asked

"what you think about HER, "I love you" (puke!)" - This last girl asked me to tell her that I love her, I didn't but that is an odd situation to get into

"constantly asking her, "I am having so much fun, are you?" - She kept asking me this actually, I would only ask her if she asked me and I responded yes, what about you.

"If you have a lot of babes approaching you, it must mean you're a pretty attractive guy and that more women have high initial interest in you than with the average joe." - I usually don't get girls cold approaching me and asking me out right away, either I know them from somewhere, or I have talked to them a while before they ask for a number or to go out. I'm sure I look fine, but I doubt I turn any heads.

This last girl was getting ready to move when we started dating, I assumed I only had a limited about of time to see her, so I made sure that I was available, yes I know poor challenge. Do you think this was inappropriate even given the limited time frame. Thanks for the advice.

 

[BGMan]

Re: reply

"What you should do on the date is do not mention ANYTHING about past relationships" - I only mention this if directly asked

Be more vague if you're asked. If she asks you how many girlfriends you've had, say something like, "Seventy... uhh... three, I think." then wink at her.

"what you think about HER, "I love you" (puke!)" - This last girl asked me to tell her that I love her, I didn't but that is an odd situation to get into

Good.

"constantly asking her, "I am having so much fun, are you?" - She kept asking me this actually, I would only ask her if she asked me and I responded yes, what about you.

You seem to be doing fine.

"If you have a lot of babes approaching you, it must mean you're a pretty attractive guy and that more women have high initial interest in you than with the average joe." - I usually don't get girls cold approaching me and asking me out right away, either I know them from somewhere, or I have talked to them a while before they ask for a number or to go out. I'm sure I look fine, but I doubt I turn any heads.

Girls hardly ever ask ME for a number or to go out, even if they know me for a while. They always hint instead, hoping I do all the work. One girl I'm working on now actually did approach me, but she was showing low interest before that and I had been playing serious DJ games on her.

This last girl was getting ready to move when we started dating, I assumed I only had a limited about of time to see her, so I made sure that I was available, yes I know poor challenge. Do you think this was inappropriate even given the limited time frame. Thanks for the advice.

Well, if she was planning on moving away, it sounds as if she wasn't serious about having a long-term relationship with you at all. She was just looking for a little intimacy and affection -- a fling, if you will -- before she left for another part of the country. That may be why she was pestering you to tell her you loved her. But it sounds as if it wouldn't have made a difference if you did tell her or not, in this case. She was still going to move away, and to drop you.

One criterion that I look for in the women I date is that I never date women who are moving away shortly and never planning to come back. There is absolutely no purpose in doing so, unless you are trying to have sex with her.

BGMan