In_the_works
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- Jul 1, 2008
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I am nineteen and basically found this site by mistake but I am going to share with you guys my experiences and such and how I am finally realizing what I was and still am (an AFC).
I was raised in a family where my parents became divorced at an early age and I was very sheltered by my mom all my life. I used to have a brother when I was 2 but he died on meningitis shortly after I was born. I believe this is what caused my mother to be OVERLY-protective of me and I was coddled all through my high school years. In high school I had no self-esteem and the only outlet and the only thing that I had was weight training funny enough. It was like the weight room was my sanctuary or my refuge and I took up bodybuilding at an early age but was still known as the nice guy and was scared to death of women and myself and has no confidence. I have been struggling with this up until now and still am despite being in really good shape and looking pretty good (in my opinion). I had many many chances in high school and many chances to get laid or get a girlfriend but typically I passed all of them up. The summer after I graduated high school I finally got laid of myspace a random milf encounter.
Funny enough six months later a new girl was hired at work who was really attractive but I made no indication to her that I was interested because she showed marginal interest in me (yes I know It was a bad idea to mess around with co-workers and I regret that now). I guess this worked to my advantage in some way and I "lucked out" like every AFC does and she asked me out at work. Of course I said yes and we hung out and we kissed on the second day. Within a week I had fvcked her and we dated for two months. It seemed she was head over heels for me and we became "official bf and gf a month ago. We broke up last week.
Throughout the relationship I was always eager to please her and when we were dating sex was great and everything was working fine. Eventually I could see in her eyes that she was loosing interest in me but being the pvssy that I was never broke it off. She is 21 and I never questioned when she would go out to the bar with her girlfriends to the bars but eventually she was getting bored and losing her attraction to me as I could sense it in her body language around me and in her eyes. She no longer was interested and sex stopped three weeks ago (I broke it off a week ago). I made a big mistake and popped the L word in the third month. When her phone died and I couldn't contact her for three days I left a few angry messages on her phone basically asking what was going on and why she was ignoring me. The third message I left said that we needed to "take a break, perhaps indefinitely." She cried and was mad and Ignored me at work and I ignored her.
I went and talked to her about everything a few days ago (last thursday) and she basically said that we shouldn't be together because it was if I didn't know what I wanted. To tell a chick that you love her and then flip out and dump her, she didn't take that very well. I tried to talk to her the next day and gave her a blubbering phone call during which she didn't really want to talk to me. I sent her a text later saying that I was sorry about overreacting and wanted a second chance. I deleted my myspace and to get all of thoughts of her out of my head because I would check hers every day and comments etc.. sort of obsessively. I realized what I was doing the same day and sought to cut off all contact because what I was becoming disgusted me. As I said I deleted me myspace and deleted her phone number. After ignorning her for one day she texts my yesterday asking what time I got off work. I asked If she wanted to hang out and she never responded and today I even got onto myspace and checked hers... yes I know. I read her mood and It said "I love someone who doesn't love me back!!!" she had changed her headline to "you don't truly love someone until you have hated them."
As I stewed in my head an overanalyzed everything like I am probably doing in this post that has been happening over the past few days I have finally realized what I have become and it sickens and disgusts me. She is doing all this to re-capture my attention and that is all and I realize now I need to move on,
I guess the point I am trying to make is that you never really learn until you have crashed and burned and realized you have hit the bottom like I have. I have finally realized the error of all of my ways and have accepted that I need to change and I feel liberated. Despite all that has happened my confidence is starting to boom now that I know what I have to offer myself: nothing that any women could ever offer me. It's now time to start reading and implementing the resources I have available here. For some odd reason my sense of self worth is growing as I write every line of this.
I think I finally woke up but even now I have thoughts that I should go back to her and try and make it work but the bast thing to do is move on I believe, what do you guys think of all of this?
I was raised in a family where my parents became divorced at an early age and I was very sheltered by my mom all my life. I used to have a brother when I was 2 but he died on meningitis shortly after I was born. I believe this is what caused my mother to be OVERLY-protective of me and I was coddled all through my high school years. In high school I had no self-esteem and the only outlet and the only thing that I had was weight training funny enough. It was like the weight room was my sanctuary or my refuge and I took up bodybuilding at an early age but was still known as the nice guy and was scared to death of women and myself and has no confidence. I have been struggling with this up until now and still am despite being in really good shape and looking pretty good (in my opinion). I had many many chances in high school and many chances to get laid or get a girlfriend but typically I passed all of them up. The summer after I graduated high school I finally got laid of myspace a random milf encounter.
Funny enough six months later a new girl was hired at work who was really attractive but I made no indication to her that I was interested because she showed marginal interest in me (yes I know It was a bad idea to mess around with co-workers and I regret that now). I guess this worked to my advantage in some way and I "lucked out" like every AFC does and she asked me out at work. Of course I said yes and we hung out and we kissed on the second day. Within a week I had fvcked her and we dated for two months. It seemed she was head over heels for me and we became "official bf and gf a month ago. We broke up last week.
Throughout the relationship I was always eager to please her and when we were dating sex was great and everything was working fine. Eventually I could see in her eyes that she was loosing interest in me but being the pvssy that I was never broke it off. She is 21 and I never questioned when she would go out to the bar with her girlfriends to the bars but eventually she was getting bored and losing her attraction to me as I could sense it in her body language around me and in her eyes. She no longer was interested and sex stopped three weeks ago (I broke it off a week ago). I made a big mistake and popped the L word in the third month. When her phone died and I couldn't contact her for three days I left a few angry messages on her phone basically asking what was going on and why she was ignoring me. The third message I left said that we needed to "take a break, perhaps indefinitely." She cried and was mad and Ignored me at work and I ignored her.
I went and talked to her about everything a few days ago (last thursday) and she basically said that we shouldn't be together because it was if I didn't know what I wanted. To tell a chick that you love her and then flip out and dump her, she didn't take that very well. I tried to talk to her the next day and gave her a blubbering phone call during which she didn't really want to talk to me. I sent her a text later saying that I was sorry about overreacting and wanted a second chance. I deleted my myspace and to get all of thoughts of her out of my head because I would check hers every day and comments etc.. sort of obsessively. I realized what I was doing the same day and sought to cut off all contact because what I was becoming disgusted me. As I said I deleted me myspace and deleted her phone number. After ignorning her for one day she texts my yesterday asking what time I got off work. I asked If she wanted to hang out and she never responded and today I even got onto myspace and checked hers... yes I know. I read her mood and It said "I love someone who doesn't love me back!!!" she had changed her headline to "you don't truly love someone until you have hated them."
As I stewed in my head an overanalyzed everything like I am probably doing in this post that has been happening over the past few days I have finally realized what I have become and it sickens and disgusts me. She is doing all this to re-capture my attention and that is all and I realize now I need to move on,
I guess the point I am trying to make is that you never really learn until you have crashed and burned and realized you have hit the bottom like I have. I have finally realized the error of all of my ways and have accepted that I need to change and I feel liberated. Despite all that has happened my confidence is starting to boom now that I know what I have to offer myself: nothing that any women could ever offer me. It's now time to start reading and implementing the resources I have available here. For some odd reason my sense of self worth is growing as I write every line of this.
I think I finally woke up but even now I have thoughts that I should go back to her and try and make it work but the bast thing to do is move on I believe, what do you guys think of all of this?
