I suspect my girlfriend is cheating how to handle it

[john1234]

Ok
I have relationship with this girl and it seems pretty normal, except I recently just got back with her after we broke up. I noticed she has a few male friends but I know girls use guys for stuff and I am not insecure about the friends.

She has a group of mixed friends and they went out a few times without me and pictures were taken and she posted them on fb.
I noticed that in one of the pictures some guy (she says is just a friend ) was holding her shoulder in a group picture and in another picture he was always close to her. The cause for concern is that she removed the picture from Fb where he was holding the shoulder (she did not know I had already seen it). That was what triggered my suspicion.


I feel something is not right and notice that this same guy sends her fb messages like;
"hello my beautiful princess"
" hello beautiful how was your day did u end up going there?"
and even sent her a love heart and she responds to these messages scarcely and then deletes the messages afterwards (cause for concern!).
She makes sure she responds and deletes the messages on the same day as I have been monitoring.


How should I handle this? Do you think she was cheating on me or is cheating?

 

[betheman]

how did you break up in the first place?
always trust your gut

 

[john1234]

how did you break up in the first place?
always trust your gut

it was over the same issue of money. I doubted her in the past with her ex's to only find out she was not at fault
but come to think of your question, after I came back form abroad days before we broke up, I did think she was acting weird with me, like she was just going through the motions and was behaving weird and a couple of days later it broke off.

 

[john1234]

"it broke off"? Or she broke it off?

In any case, I would just let her go and find a better prospect. There is a reason an ex is an ex.

Yes I ended it and she begged me not to go. But after some days after we were talking and next thing you know we are having sex.

 

[5string]

Who the F cares. Just replace her. You're overthinking it. Even if she didn't cheat, she's still an AW and not worth your time except maybe for a roll in the hay.

 

[john1234]

Too many unanswered questions....

When she went out with the friends, were you still dating? Were you invited? Why did you break it off? What are her responses to this orbiter?

Details are important, they help form the story. I have no way of knowing if you dumped her and she then led this guy on so she could feel better, only to have you back and now is brushing him off?

Or did she never invite you out with these friends and was considering branch swinging to the guy before you broke it off?

Help us out here, give us some context.

yes we were still dating and I was abroad on business trip and she wasnt dumped yet until I returned and noticed the alterations. She said the orbiter is just a friend and is doing something with another girl in the pictures, I trust her but the messages i saw lead me to believe otherwise.

I just want to know how to confornt her and bring the whole issue to the table in DJ fashion

 

[backseatjuan]

With my gf I demanded she brake it off with all of her male friends. But that's because we lived together and I consider her a marriage material. Testing is simple, no f'ck ups for six months. At first there were f'ck ups, but later on all was straight. She now often tells me I love you, and I always say I love me too. She cleans, cooks, eager to bring money home, never spends left and right.

Move in, demand she treats you right.

 

[backseatjuan]

With my gf I demanded she brake it off with all of her male friends. But that's because we lived together and I consider her a marriage material. Testing is simple, no f'ck ups for six months. At first there were f'ck ups, but later on all was straight. She now often tells me I love you, and I always say I love me too. She cleans, cooks, eager to bring money home, never spends left and right.

Move in, demand she treats you right.

 

[CR103030]

Sounds like the guys has no game from what I see in his messages to her. You shouldn't have anything to worth about with him but it's the guys that you don't know about that worries me. Sounds like she enjoys the attention from males. I'm not sure if she's crating, but know that she'll definitely upgrade given the chance.

Good luck whatever you do. Always remember that the person who cares least about the relationship is the one in control.

 

[Purefilth]

Sounds like the guys has no game from what I see in his messages to her. You shouldn't have anything to worth about with him but it's the guys that you don't know about that worries me. Sounds like she enjoys the attention from males. I'm not sure if she's crating, but know that she'll definitely upgrade given the chance.

Good luck whatever you do. Always remember that the person who cares least about the relationship is the one in control.

^^^this^^^

 

[yuppaz]

If you don't trust her to the point of watching her every move on facebook...if she's behaving in a way that makes you suspicious of her then maybe it's time to move on. Danger is right, you will come off badly...but your either right and she is cheating, or you don't trust her or she is behaving / lives in a way that you aren't comfortable with and that is just going to cause problems down the line.

Also if a girl is cheating, she will be VERY good at hiding it for the most part. That whole deleting messages thing is very suspicious.

 

[Sneevox]

Ok
How should I handle this? Do you think she was cheating on me or is cheating?

Man, I don't know if she's cheating or not... but it's obvious that you don't trust her.
If you don't trust her enough, just break up with her and tell her you don't trust her enough to stay in a relationship anymore.

To me, man, a relationship is based on trust. The main trust in the relationship is simply you trusting yourself... if you do that, she'll have no reason to cheat on you. You'll be trustworthy of yourself, and in turn always be improving yourself... causing you to be so interesting that you'll never have to worry about her cheating on you.

In my opinion, you just need a break from a "relationship" so that you can learn to understand yourself more. That's what will make a complete relationship.

 

[Krueg]

Your first mistake was getting back together with a girl you broke up with. Have you read the DJ Bible? Protect your Heart!

There really isnt a way for us to know if she is cheating... If you want to know who the mystery man is msging her through facebook, just confront her. Say; "Who's the the boy toy sending you sweet messages on facebook?" Something along the lines to keep a lil humor about it - showing its not a big deal to you, while pushing her buttons a little...

See how she reacts.

P.S. If she is deleting the messages, she wants hide something!!

 

[Voice]

As 5string said, it's probably best to drop her.

The fact that the orbiter has "no game" isn't the point. The point is that your woman is enabling it and hiding it.

Is that really the type of woman you want to have a relationship with?

No matter what your ammunition is when you confront her, to her you will be possessive, controlling, manipulative, untrustworthy due to snooping on her facebook, whatever,.....you will be the bad guy. This will allow her hamster to rationalize the end of the relationship with her thinking she was the good one and you ruined it. Why let her get off so easy?


Have standards, have self-respect, walk away and say nothing.

Eh, why dump her completely? I'd say keep her for her puss and nothing more.

John, are you guys officially back together or are you just fvcking? It sounds to me like this girl might think you are the latter. In that case you shouldn't even care what this guy is saying because YOU are still getting pvssy and that's all that matters. I'd say keep this girl on the side and keep your options open and most importantly chase other tail.

If I am wrong and you guys ARE officially back together then it's a tough one. It could be that this girl has no interest in the orbiter and just keeps him around for an ego boost. I don't know the character of your girl so you are the best judge to whether she is cheating if there are no other red flags. If you ever confront her about it, just make fun of how pathetic his attempts are and judge her reaction.

Watch your emotion though man, don't get overly obsessed with this and play it cool.

 

[john1234]

Eh, why dump her completely? I'd say keep her for her puss and nothing more.

John, are you guys officially back together or are you just fvcking? It sounds to me like this girl might think you are the latter. In that case you shouldn't even care what this guy is saying because YOU are still getting pvssy and that's all that matters. I'd say keep this girl on the side and keep your options open and most importantly chase other tail.

If I am wrong and you guys ARE officially back together then it's a tough one. It could be that this girl has no interest in the orbiter and just keeps him around for an ego boost. I don't know the character of your girl so you are the best judge to whether she is cheating if there are no other red flags. If you ever confront her about it, just make fun of how pathetic his attempts are and judge her reaction.

Watch your emotion though man, don't get overly obsessed with this and play it cool.

We are properly back together now, this girl is now annoying me, because I can't understand her, she is using game on me and is a very good gamer.

After she got hints that I was suspicious about her,she started acting very loving. I've never cheated on her! But when she officially dumped me in the past, I ended up having a one night stand with another girl days later then we got back together.



I feel now what every one is saying that I will start to spin plates and find another, I dont deserve this BS!
I think girls are very smart because they always are keeping their options open! and try to prevent you from keeping yours open!
And because they are girls, lots of men will hit on them, or they can find some one easy for sex. so I will start approaching girls every day !

 

[betheman]

I think girls are very smart because they always are keeping their options open! and try to prevent you from keeping yours open!
And because they are girls, lots of men will hit on them, or they can find some one easy for sex. so I will start approaching girls every day !

girls/women dont even have to try to keep their optons open, they are always open and will virtually always have way more options than guys.
unless you are a 9-10, ripped and wealthy, you have to work at it. stop investing so much in this one, she is gaming you? does that feel good? the only course of action is to start game yourself, protect yourself, you seem to have a dose of the oneitis setting in, invest more in this girl and you will crash and burn

 

[john1234]

girls/women dont even have to try to keep their optons open, they are always open and will virtually always have way more options than guys.
unless you are a 9-10, ripped and wealthy, you have to work at it. stop investing so much in this one, she is gaming you? does that feel good? the only course of action is to start game yourself, protect yourself, you seem to have a dose of the oneitis setting in, invest more in this girl and you will crash and burn

No it doesnt feel good. I am not a 9/10 nor ripped .

 

[john1234]

To me, man, a relationship is based on trust. The main trust in the relationship is simply you trusting yourself... if you do that, she'll have no reason to cheat on you. You'll be trustworthy of yourself, and in turn always be improving yourself... causing you to be so interesting that you'll never have to worry about her cheating on you.

In my opinion, you just need a break from a "relationship" so that you can learn to understand yourself more. That's what will make a complete relationship.

I don't understand what you mean by trusting myself will ensure a woman will never do the dirty?