I struggle to pass this particular test

[The LadyKiller]

Long-time lurker, first-time poster. I like the ideas from the posts and bible here, and they have helped me out in the dating scene. I recently decided to join the forum and need your help. I am facing a type of "test" I have historically struggled with.

Currently, I work at a rather large-sized company located in a very quiet area. Because of the long/strange hours and that many people working are of similar age, everyone we meet and befriend is from work. I have noticed a number of couples at the company as well. Though the "don't dip your pen in the company ink" is good to keep in mind, I do not fear it and it appears it isn't forbidden by the company.

Onto the situation at hand: I recently met a HB who started work with us a few weeks ago. For one day during her initial training, she was assigned to work with me (we are the same position). We clicked immediately. We have similar interests and a similar sense of humor She even initiated kino (I'm not initiating kino in the office, but I'm completely fine with her doing so)! After my work was done, we got some food at the work cafeteria. She claimed to forget her money at her desk, I had no problem paying (it wasn't pricey). She said she'll pay when we eat together again soon." I ran into her a few days later, she immediately brought up trying to find a way for us to get a bite, but we need to find a time b/c of our incompatible schedules. She also threw in some compliments, etc.

This part looks good. However, she then threw in the possible "test." Keeping everything I wrote above in mind, she says, "I'll let you know what day works for me" since we have the weird schedules (we also have each other's cell #'s). That's the "test." I can't beat it because I simply do not know what to do in this situation. Do I wait and see (and if so, how long)? Do I forego her thought and approach the topic a few days later? What is the correct way to go about this?

Girls don't usually initiate, so I have to presume she won't. I also seem to think that if a girl says this, there's no interest though that might not be true, given the circumstances. I have also read that a HB who is interested might look for some sort of "chase," especially if the HB is intelligent. Again though, this test stumps me. I don't know the correct answer.

Any advice is much appreciated.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Any advice? Maybe this test stumps everyone here.

 

[PDubb75]

How long ago was this when she said she would let you know? Did this just happen? Because of the situation, she could be sincere about it.

Either way, I would look for clues as to when she may have time, and then initiate it myself. If she makes some comment like "I'm glad I don't need to work as late the next few days", you can respond with something like "Yeah, now we can go to ______ on _____ night".

 

[The LadyKiller]

How long ago was this when she said she would let you know? Did this just happen? Because of the situation, she could be sincere about it.

Either way, I would look for clues as to when she may have time, and then initiate it myself. If she makes some comment like "I'm glad I don't need to work as late the next few days", you can respond with something like "Yeah, now we can go to ______ on _____ night".

This happened at the start of the week. Our schedules change about every month. Right now, she is slated to work early in the day and I work later in the day. Because she is new, her hours are more random this month. This week, our shifts briefly intersect tomorrow. They are also "in range" on another day of the week, but it's a little bit of a stretch. We do get 2 off-days a week, with one of them being the same day (which was earlier this week).

Given that, what would your advice be? We haven't spoken in the past couple of days (just busy, etc.).

 

[PDubb75]

Heh, it sounds to me like it just simply won't work right now. Unless you can get something going next week if you two have a similar off day again. Aside from that, you've made it sound like it's impossible.

One piece of advice I can give, which tends to be an issue is situations like this where there are longer periods of time between seeing someone, is don't text too much. You haven't said anything that makes me think that you are, but I know that can tend to happen in these situations.

Also, how old are you?

 

[The LadyKiller]

Heh, it sounds to me like it just simply won't work right now. Unless you can get something going next week if you two have a similar off day again. Aside from that, you've made it sound like it's impossible.

One piece of advice I can give, which tends to be an issue is situations like this where there are longer periods of time between seeing someone, is don't text too much. You haven't said anything that makes me think that you are, but I know that can tend to happen in these situations.

Also, how old are you?

23/24. The hours this month are tricky (it will be different next month), but there are a few days this month that could work (our off day, etc.), though its not many.

I agree with not texting too much, though it could also be tricky given how our hours don't mix and therefore there isn't a lot of in-person contact recently. I've done well here so far. The fear is having the iron go cold and then having to start over again.

 

[PDubb75]

The fear is having the iron go cold and then having to start over again.

Exactly... that fear is what makes people text too much. I personally agree that texting can do more to push the iron towards cold, than keep it at hot. There isn't much you can say over text to increase interest at this point. At best, you can keep it fairly consistent, but chances are you will be hurting yourself.

Just try to figure out a time that you think works, and tell her. If it doesn't work for her, hopefully she will suggest something else. Otherwise, might be best to assume low interest.

 

[st_99]

well, i can tell already you care too much and the frame is hers which is bad news. get your mind right, first get it in your head that she's a dime a dozen. Then proceed. Forget about all this test bullsh*t. Your mind is in the wrong place, from a position of inferiority.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Maybe she wanted you to solve this little different schedules problem?

Figure it out. Tell her you are working her schedule, and if she bites, then work her schedule and eat with her. That one sucks though, more work for you. And you are at work.

Maybe however, she is encouraging you to ask her out, you know, outside of work, outside of your schedules?

If you are totally unsure, create an event. Drinks somewhere. Get people on board and then mention it to her. Group things are an easy yes for chicks. From there, it is up to you.

In either case, you needs to get her out of the office yo.

 

[Zarky]

well, i can tell already you care too much and the frame is hers which is bad news. get your mind right, first get it in your head that she's a dime a dozen. Then proceed. Forget about all this test bullsh*t. Your mind is in the wrong place, from a position of inferiority.

I mostly agree with this. Date other women, then you won't care and pretty soon she'll come up to you and tell you she wants to get together.

Indifference always wins. You can't fake indifference. You need to be dating other women.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Maybe she wanted you to solve this little different schedules problem?

This wouldn't shock me.

Figure it out. Tell her you are working her schedule, and if she bites, then work her schedule and eat with her. That one sucks though, more work for you. And you are at work.

We'll get the bad out of the way first, no offense. This is CRAZY :crazy: I'd be working an 18-20 hour day if this were possible, let alone allowable (it isn't). Not going to happen.

Maybe however, she is encouraging you to ask her out, you know, outside of work, outside of your schedules?

This could be possible. She is a smart chick, so I wouldn't put something like this past her. I haven't spoken with her in a few days just because we've been busy, but maybe I can reignite some conversation (which is the question I originally wrote)?

If you are totally unsure, create an event. Drinks somewhere. Get people on board and then mention it to her. Group things are an easy yes for chicks. From there, it is up to you.

The idea is good, the problem here is that I only know two people with the same off day; HB and my friend. That's it.

In either case, you needs to get her out of the office yo.

Probable. Trying to set up something on a work day appears close to impossible this month.

 

[true romance]

Since your schedule at work does not match. why keep trying to fix a date at lunch.
BE A MAN
you know her day off. Just call her up and set it up.Tell her you are hungry and she should buy u dinner after work .. tell her you made reservation at x place at x time. or ask her to cook for you. be light heart, funny.

Why don't you try to game her after work, seduce her, bring her back to you place. At work is not ideal for game.

Should I call her, text her, does she like me? High School? etc.. Get off this mind set.

Go after what you want. risk to lose the girl to get the girl. and there are more rookie down the pipeline

She may bang another guy in the office who has more ball to seduce her than you
Good Luck

TR

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Just keep doing what you were doing and don't think about it too much. Half of these "tests" the PUAs talk about just seem like tests out of their own insecurities. If you see her again, cool. If you don't who cares? Plenty of fish in the sea (But they aren't all a great catch).

 

[gaspipe]

Since your schedule at work does not match. why keep trying to fix a date at lunch.
BE A MAN
you know her day off. Just call her up and set it up.Tell her you are hungry and she should buy u dinner after work .. tell her you made reservation at x place at x time. or ask her to cook for you. be light heart, funny.

Why don't you try to game her after work, seduce her, bring her back to you place. At work is not ideal for game.

Should I call her, text her, does she like me? High School? etc.. Get off this mind set.

Go after what you want. risk to lose the girl to get the girl. and there are more rookie down the pipeline

She may bang another guy in the office who has more ball to seduce her than you
Good Luck

TR

This. Guys I know who get laid alot dont follow rules and just go with their desire and instincts.

 

[st_99]

Half of these "tests" the PUAs talk about just seem like tests out of their own insecurities.

all of them are

 

[DonGorgon]

go chat up some other hos at the office and let her see you..

 

[The LadyKiller]

Just keep doing what you were doing and don't think about it too much. Half of these "tests" the PUAs talk about just seem like tests out of their own insecurities. If you see her again, cool. If you don't who cares? Plenty of fish in the sea (But they aren't all a great catch).

You're probably right. I typically see through a lot of the "tests," but there are a couple of situations that I don't do quite as well in. This is one of those situations. I am more comfortable "calling the shots" on setting up dates and so forth. When a HB says she'll "let me know," doubt starts to creep in.

UPDATE: As for this current situation, she did offer up a time to meet next week. It's between our shifts one day (it fits both our schedules), and yes it does happen to be at work. The thinking seems to be, "Well, if this 'date' goes well, then the real date can be established next." We still don't know each other very well.

I got the ball rolling with the mindset that we should do something. The first day I threw out was our off day just because it made sense. She preferred a day that comes before that date. Since that day works for me, I told her that should work, and we're on our way.