I realised I feel something to her

[The Next Big Thing]

There is this girl. We have known each other for almost 10 years, we were classmates at high school , now we are at universities so we dont see each other very often. But we are from the same town. Over all those years, she sometimes flirted with me. And it was not just flirting, I know that she liked me, but I was too imature for relationship back then. Now like 3 months ago she broke up with her boyfriend, she was with him for 3 years.

Maybe a month after that breakup, I sent her a message asking if she wants to go out to talk a bit. (she told me several times in the past , that we can go sometimes for a walk to talk) ... she replied to me saying we can go following week, but she hasnt responded.. I asked her again when she has time, so i can arrange my week schedule... she still hasnt responded, its been almost 2 months...the messages are not even marked as "seen" ...

But I see her on facebook, liking pictures, commenting, I saw her even on pictures from two parties shes been at.
I tve always thought that Im just sexually attracted to her, but when I saw her on one photo with one guy with hand on her shoulder (theyre jsut friends), I got really furious. I feel like I dont want any other guy to touch her.
We have always had good conversations, I havent done anything bad to her, just asked her to go out... why she hasnt responded... I know one of the reasons can be, shes not interested, but she has always liked me, and anyway she can go with me for a walk and it doesnt ahve to mean we are together .. ?

Any thoughts? Im really desperate. Ive heard a lot of advice that I should just let it go. But Im thinking about her every day, I dont know what to do. The thing that bothers me the msot is that I dont understand why she doesnt respond to me, what Ive done that she behaves like this?

 

[palisade]

Welcome to the wonderful world of the Friendzone, the Doctor's diagnosis is in and it sounds like you're suffering from "Oneitis". Be careful, you could be manifesting anger towards her being around other guys (as in why is she not answering me, but she's with those guys?!) which builds up into a very, very bad energy.

But you already knew that. Before we can go far more in depth with our own advice, you need to expand more on key points.

What were the frequencies of your conversations like between the message in question and.. say.. two, three years before then? Do you chat occasionally or rarely? If you suddenly jumped in magnitude, she'll notice and question it. Just because we can justify a walk being non-romantic doesn't mean they won't see it as such, especially if you contacted her completely out of the blue. It's also possible she's seen you've sent her a message but it's got lost in an abyss of other messages, especially if you aren't terribly important to her life (no offense).

If you've not spoken to her since.. you could always go online in the chat and try and catch her sometime? Do not jump in with the request, try and get chatting about small things but abruptly leave, something's popped up, need to head out, can we finish this catch up in person over coffee, go for a walk etc, you know the drill. She'll be more relaxed this way as opposed to instantly being put on the spot.

If that doesn't work, i.e. she doesn't reply, you need to drop it instantly and get the rose tinted glasses off. Throw them away. Stop thinking about the past and what could have been, because the past is the past; it doesn't matter.

In all honesty, I think that'll be the inevitable outcome anyway in truth, because there's no link between the two of you, you'll only end up trying to force something to come through which never works. It needs to be organic, needs to be fluid.

 

[DonGorgon]

thats fine just make sure you dont feel more than she does