I promised I'd never post about her again, but its last chance saloon time... HELP
This post is quite long... if you cant be bothered to read it all, just read parts of it.. or skip to my summary in my reply that I posted....
Ok, those of you who remember some of the posts I've been making while I've been here should remember that I've had one-itis for some chick pretty bad since oooh.. march april time I guess.. in case I need to refer to her.. shes X from now on..
I thought I'd got over it in August, but the last 2 weeks, the realisation that shes leaving my life for good this friday brought it all back..
anyway, we're both on the same course we hand in projects on friday.. she moved out of town last weekend.. but she needs to come back to hand in and have a last night out with us all.
So I offered my place to stay at (theres a spare room at the mo), so did one of her female mates, she chose to stay with me, (although my house is closer to town and does have the spare bed)
So thats the thing, she'll be staying over thursday and friday night.. the friday of course we'll be going out and getting bladdered.. if I'm ever going to get into her panties this friday is my one and only chance..
recent stuff
Now as concisely as I can, heres a rundown of her behaviour recently.. in our workroom shes been after my attention quite a bit.. and will often come to me when she gets bored.. this includes, prodding me with pens etc.. twirling my chair with her feet, punches on the arm and so on... whenever shes bored or fed up.. needless to say I do the same to her..
On friday it was her last night out with her housemates, I put in a bit of effort to get her to invite me along.. met her and her friends, and in the club she decided to spend the whole time with me.. I even said "we dont have to sit here, we can go over to your friends if you want" but she wanted to stick with me, despite it being her last night out with them.. through the night I was occasionally applying light kino on her without really thinking about it.. especially towards the end, she didnt seem to mind, although she didnt really kino me back..
She asked me if I fancied any of her housemates.. I told her I did fancy one of them, who unfortunately wasnt there that night (true) that was the chick I was on about in this thread.
I'd been deliberately asking questions about her, and made no effort to hide the fact I liked her to X all summer, I did this so it became less obvious to X that I fancied her, and also because I did wanna know stuff about this other chick
.. So she knows for sure now I had the hots for her housemate.. whether she thinks I have the hots for her I dont know.. I think she may have suspected as much in the past, whether she still does who knows... She probably thinks my increased 'lets go to the pub' requests recently are ploys to get to see her housemate again, (they were, but I wanted to see her too)
The boyfriend
Those of you who remember my past posts will also know this isnt that simple.. shes got a boyfriend, 2 years together now, the past year, (since I've known her) they've been doing the long distance thing... Oh and shes just moved in with him.. BUT I get the feeling shes not head over heels with him.. heres some info on their relationship, draw your own conclusions..
He messages and calls her ALOT. When I've been working with her at uni she seems to get at least one message or call a day.
She never seems to call him.
His phone bill for one month was £400, mostly from calling her..
She never seems pleased to see him calling, and occasionally she seems pissed off..
Moving in with him was a last resort for her, shes only doing so because she has no other mates she can live with at the moment, when I said "why dont you move in with him" she said how she didnt want to, would be too couply, etc etc.
last time he came to stay with her for 2 weeks she said "he drove me up the wall"
she gets mighty pissed off if ever I make any jokes or suggestions about them being a family, getting married etc.
When one of her mates said to her "can you see yourself staying with him for the rest of you life?" she paused for a long time and said ".. maybe.... provided I dont have to live with him"
she seems very scared of commitment and wants to keep her independence
essentially she very rarely says anything positive about him at all, of course I may just be seeing what I want to see, but everything I hear about him is usually either negative, or her wandering if she can get him to do something for her..
Can I emphasise here I have NOT been an emotional tampon for her.. she doesnt come to me with problems about her boyfriend at all, the stuff from above, well notice none of it is actual problems that shes talked to me about, its just stuff I've noticed that may indicate problems.. The "drives me up the wall" comment, we were in a group and she was talking mainly to one of her girl friends not me.. In fact she hardly talks about him at all..
Why I may be in with a shot
ahh, this bits harder to write than I thought....
we get on really well, have a lot in common..
despite seeing each other most days, if we go out in the evening we can still hold a long conversation (8 hours once) without awkward silences and so on, the convo always seems to just flow..
shes recently asked me about my taste in women..
always seems willing to keep her attention on me when we're out..
all the prodding and so on recently..
maintains EC during convos
I think she does care about me.. but whether thats just as a friend or not I dont know..
I'm a catch! and I'm really good looking too! and a superb lover! what woman wouldnt want me! etc. etc.
reasons why I might not be in there
what a rubbish section, but it needs to be here
She has a boyfriend.
Has only messaged or called me for no real reason once or maybe twice, every other time, is to ask some sort of question or favour
No obvious signs that I've picked up on that shes actively pursuing me.. or considering me as a replacement for her current boyfriend
Doesnt really invite me to come do stuff with her unless I make it clear I'm at a loose end and want to spend time with her, (apart from coffees and so on in the day)
Other stuff that may be relevant
She claims never to have been on a date before..
all her boyfriends shes been friends with beforehand
she claims to have never made the first move
she got together with her current boyfriend when she had a bust up with her boyfriend, he offered the shoulder to cry on and moved in..
She has repeatedly banged on to female friends having bf troubles about the merits of staying with a bloke whos not that great provided the sex is good, whether shes doing this at the moment I dont know..
my gut feeling
if she does like me, she either doesnt realise it, or hasnt admitted it to herself..
If I am going to make anything happen I will need to make a physical move, ie. kino, then kiss.. words alone will not be enough, and any words will need to be immediately followed by a kiss attempt
I'm also thinking of paying her attention during the big course farewell meal and later on too, but once we hit the club DJing like I never had before, i.e flirting with as many other girls as possible, and going for a kiss close if I can.. that way she may get jealous and at least she'll start thinking of me in a sexual sense, plus if I am succesful in attracting some girls, I start to become "the prize"
Thats pretty much everything I can think of for now.. I am so tempted to try something on friday, provided neither of us is too hammered (a significant risk). I have no intentions of a massive AFC outpouring of my love for her, nor any delusions that if we do end up shagging she'll immediately dump her boyfriend for me.. just some sort of demonstration that I'm attracted to her that might lead to sex, if she still suspects I like her it shouldnt be too bad, cos provided I dont come on too strong she shouldnt be too surprised so it wouldnt be too awkward.. My hope is that even after a half week of living with him, (she moved in on sunday, arrives at mine thursday) she'll already be annoyed with him, and dreading the fact that she has to spend the next 9 months living with him before she jets off travelling to australia with her mate (yes, the one I had the hots for)
If she didnt have a boyfriend I wouldnt even be asking all this... hell if she didnt have a boyfriend I'd have made a move months ago and this wouldnt be an issue.. but because of the bf I've done nothing, and this is the most concrete chance I've had all year. its now or never...
Lets have your opinions then.. I'm expecting two extreme schools of thought, go for it, she wouldnt be staying unless she wants your c*ck, and dont, you'll f*ck up your friendship and lose a good friend..
If you do think I should be going for it what should my strategy be.. any topics of convo I should aim for once we get back to mine, should I say something.. or provided the EC and so on is there just go for a kiss without related I like you type convo??
My friends who I have asked for advice have been most sensible, and just said, be very careful, play it by ear and see what happens.
I've spent so much of my life being inactive and indecisive with women, feel its time to take the bull by the horns, what doesnt kill you....
This post is quite long... if you cant be bothered to read it all, just read parts of it.. or skip to my summary in my reply that I posted....
Ok, those of you who remember some of the posts I've been making while I've been here should remember that I've had one-itis for some chick pretty bad since oooh.. march april time I guess.. in case I need to refer to her.. shes X from now on..
I thought I'd got over it in August, but the last 2 weeks, the realisation that shes leaving my life for good this friday brought it all back..
anyway, we're both on the same course we hand in projects on friday.. she moved out of town last weekend.. but she needs to come back to hand in and have a last night out with us all.
So I offered my place to stay at (theres a spare room at the mo), so did one of her female mates, she chose to stay with me, (although my house is closer to town and does have the spare bed)
So thats the thing, she'll be staying over thursday and friday night.. the friday of course we'll be going out and getting bladdered.. if I'm ever going to get into her panties this friday is my one and only chance..
recent stuff
Now as concisely as I can, heres a rundown of her behaviour recently.. in our workroom shes been after my attention quite a bit.. and will often come to me when she gets bored.. this includes, prodding me with pens etc.. twirling my chair with her feet, punches on the arm and so on... whenever shes bored or fed up.. needless to say I do the same to her..
On friday it was her last night out with her housemates, I put in a bit of effort to get her to invite me along.. met her and her friends, and in the club she decided to spend the whole time with me.. I even said "we dont have to sit here, we can go over to your friends if you want" but she wanted to stick with me, despite it being her last night out with them.. through the night I was occasionally applying light kino on her without really thinking about it.. especially towards the end, she didnt seem to mind, although she didnt really kino me back..
She asked me if I fancied any of her housemates.. I told her I did fancy one of them, who unfortunately wasnt there that night (true) that was the chick I was on about in this thread.
I'd been deliberately asking questions about her, and made no effort to hide the fact I liked her to X all summer, I did this so it became less obvious to X that I fancied her, and also because I did wanna know stuff about this other chick
.. So she knows for sure now I had the hots for her housemate.. whether she thinks I have the hots for her I dont know.. I think she may have suspected as much in the past, whether she still does who knows... She probably thinks my increased 'lets go to the pub' requests recently are ploys to get to see her housemate again, (they were, but I wanted to see her too)The boyfriend
Those of you who remember my past posts will also know this isnt that simple.. shes got a boyfriend, 2 years together now, the past year, (since I've known her) they've been doing the long distance thing... Oh and shes just moved in with him.. BUT I get the feeling shes not head over heels with him.. heres some info on their relationship, draw your own conclusions..
He messages and calls her ALOT. When I've been working with her at uni she seems to get at least one message or call a day.
She never seems to call him.
His phone bill for one month was £400, mostly from calling her..
She never seems pleased to see him calling, and occasionally she seems pissed off..
Moving in with him was a last resort for her, shes only doing so because she has no other mates she can live with at the moment, when I said "why dont you move in with him" she said how she didnt want to, would be too couply, etc etc.
last time he came to stay with her for 2 weeks she said "he drove me up the wall"
she gets mighty pissed off if ever I make any jokes or suggestions about them being a family, getting married etc.
When one of her mates said to her "can you see yourself staying with him for the rest of you life?" she paused for a long time and said ".. maybe.... provided I dont have to live with him"
she seems very scared of commitment and wants to keep her independence
essentially she very rarely says anything positive about him at all, of course I may just be seeing what I want to see, but everything I hear about him is usually either negative, or her wandering if she can get him to do something for her..
Can I emphasise here I have NOT been an emotional tampon for her.. she doesnt come to me with problems about her boyfriend at all, the stuff from above, well notice none of it is actual problems that shes talked to me about, its just stuff I've noticed that may indicate problems.. The "drives me up the wall" comment, we were in a group and she was talking mainly to one of her girl friends not me.. In fact she hardly talks about him at all..
Why I may be in with a shot
ahh, this bits harder to write than I thought....
we get on really well, have a lot in common..
despite seeing each other most days, if we go out in the evening we can still hold a long conversation (8 hours once) without awkward silences and so on, the convo always seems to just flow..
shes recently asked me about my taste in women..
always seems willing to keep her attention on me when we're out..
all the prodding and so on recently..
maintains EC during convos
I think she does care about me.. but whether thats just as a friend or not I dont know..
I'm a catch! and I'm really good looking too! and a superb lover! what woman wouldnt want me! etc. etc.
reasons why I might not be in there
what a rubbish section, but it needs to be here
She has a boyfriend.
Has only messaged or called me for no real reason once or maybe twice, every other time, is to ask some sort of question or favour
No obvious signs that I've picked up on that shes actively pursuing me.. or considering me as a replacement for her current boyfriend
Doesnt really invite me to come do stuff with her unless I make it clear I'm at a loose end and want to spend time with her, (apart from coffees and so on in the day)
Other stuff that may be relevant
She claims never to have been on a date before..
all her boyfriends shes been friends with beforehand
she claims to have never made the first move
she got together with her current boyfriend when she had a bust up with her boyfriend, he offered the shoulder to cry on and moved in..
She has repeatedly banged on to female friends having bf troubles about the merits of staying with a bloke whos not that great provided the sex is good, whether shes doing this at the moment I dont know..
my gut feeling
if she does like me, she either doesnt realise it, or hasnt admitted it to herself..
If I am going to make anything happen I will need to make a physical move, ie. kino, then kiss.. words alone will not be enough, and any words will need to be immediately followed by a kiss attempt
I'm also thinking of paying her attention during the big course farewell meal and later on too, but once we hit the club DJing like I never had before, i.e flirting with as many other girls as possible, and going for a kiss close if I can.. that way she may get jealous and at least she'll start thinking of me in a sexual sense, plus if I am succesful in attracting some girls, I start to become "the prize"
Thats pretty much everything I can think of for now.. I am so tempted to try something on friday, provided neither of us is too hammered (a significant risk). I have no intentions of a massive AFC outpouring of my love for her, nor any delusions that if we do end up shagging she'll immediately dump her boyfriend for me.. just some sort of demonstration that I'm attracted to her that might lead to sex, if she still suspects I like her it shouldnt be too bad, cos provided I dont come on too strong she shouldnt be too surprised so it wouldnt be too awkward.. My hope is that even after a half week of living with him, (she moved in on sunday, arrives at mine thursday) she'll already be annoyed with him, and dreading the fact that she has to spend the next 9 months living with him before she jets off travelling to australia with her mate (yes, the one I had the hots for)
If she didnt have a boyfriend I wouldnt even be asking all this... hell if she didnt have a boyfriend I'd have made a move months ago and this wouldnt be an issue.. but because of the bf I've done nothing, and this is the most concrete chance I've had all year. its now or never...
Lets have your opinions then.. I'm expecting two extreme schools of thought, go for it, she wouldnt be staying unless she wants your c*ck, and dont, you'll f*ck up your friendship and lose a good friend..
If you do think I should be going for it what should my strategy be.. any topics of convo I should aim for once we get back to mine, should I say something.. or provided the EC and so on is there just go for a kiss without related I like you type convo??
My friends who I have asked for advice have been most sensible, and just said, be very careful, play it by ear and see what happens.
I've spent so much of my life being inactive and indecisive with women, feel its time to take the bull by the horns, what doesnt kill you....
Last edited: