"I only have sex with my boyfriend"

[jvick]

how do you respond to that? its happened to me twice in the last few weeks. both times i had the girl in bed, either topless or naked, and once it starts going past the make out stage they drop that line. both with single girls too, is it a sh1t test? trying to get commitment? wtf?

 

[wjh]

Maybe trying to get commitment. Some girls use their vagina is a tool for that, rationing it out as your behavior dictates, as a reward.

But, I don't look at these situations like that. There was a girl I was sort of hooking up with, we'd go out, make out here and there, an HB8, and seeing for about a month. I had her in my bed, even, but could never close because of the amount of resistance she put up. She had a boyfriend at the time, and I got the feeling that she wanted me to gf her - not something I wanted - she was branch swinging.

Anyway, what did I do? I stopped talking to her. I met other girls and hooked up with them.

When I meet resistance to my advances I quickly lose interest. If she wants to keep me interested she's going to have to learn to give me what I want, and sooner rather than later, otherwise she can find herself someone else to try to manipulate.

 

[amoka]

I can testify to your experience. Frankly this was the reason why I researched and found sosuave. Brought a girls to my room, took off cloth and was about to get busy then, "I don't want to mess up my relationship with my boyfriend. Besides, don't you have a girlfriend to ?" I did all I could to convince her that I don't have girlfriend but no pu55y for me.

Going back to that moment, I realized I made several mistakes:
1. I was in such a rash to have sex that she lost interest. ( I was damn sure she wanted to have sex too but I simply was not patient. Absolutely NO DJ skills then.)
2. I made her feel like we were in exclusive relationship. (Damn me. What did I know then?) This got her frightened. She did not want to loose her boyfriend so, well, she left me dry and probably wen to fvck the guy next door that very night.

So my suggestion to you is to let things flow next time. Don't rush it. Let her do the cloth taking off. You just relax while she gets wet.

 

[Jitterbug]

If they were already topless or naked in your bed, it's only something they say so that they wouldn't feel like a slvt afterwards. PUAs call it ASD - Anti-Slvt Defense, and in this case it's also a LMR - Last Minute Resistance. Girls don't want to think that they've done anything "wrong", and that they're strictly holding on to their rules. Anything that goes the "wrong" way is entirely your fault. Her saying that is kinda like requiring you to sign a verbal signature on a "deal" you have with her (in your case, basically she wants to become your GF), before you're allowed to go all the way - i.e you're the one who's taking all the responsibility, since women never do. It's not because she wants you to stop! She wouldn't have got naked with you to not get a good rogering. It's another example of why you should pay attention to her action "getting naked in bed with you" and not her words "we can't have sex". :crackup:

There are similar versions of that:

"We can't do this..." +

- "I don't have sex on the first date"
- "I only just know you."
- "I don't want you to think that I'm a bad person / slvt / etc"

You get the idea. Pretty much all the girls I've had sex with said something like that, just before we were going at it like rabbits.

How to deal with it? Do not drop what you're doing but do not escalate right there either. Reassure her verbally. Important: do NOT apologize for what you've been doing, you've done nothing wrong. A lot of guys fvck up right here saying sorry for being a heterosexual man doing what heterosexual men do with naked women in their beds. Keep on doing exactly what you were just doing and slowly intensify it, then escalate again later on. Might need a few rinse & repeat cycles if you hear something similar from her again.

 

[ready123]

Jitterbug's right - it's standard LMR

there a ton of tricks out there to deal with it

 

[baurman]

You don't want to rape them. If they say No, it means NO. So if you're groping her or whatever and she says "Stop we just met.." then you should stop. If not then if things go wrong she could say you raped her or she felt forced to have sex.

 

[oakraiderz2]

"Who says i want to have sex with you anyway, we just met." Flip the script and f*ck with their mind.

 

[ready123]

"Who says i want to have sex with you anyway, we just met." Flip the script and f*ck with their mind.

yea, they're already lying in bed naked and he's gonna say some line like that. she's gonna look at him like, wtf is this guy retarded?

that close to the lay and you STILL wanna do push-pull

lolol

 

[oakraiderz2]

yea, they're already lying in bed naked and he's gonna say some line like that. she's gonna look at him like, wtf is this guy retarded?

that close to the lay and you STILL wanna do push-pull

lolol

Youre sooo right casanova. So what should he do?

 

[Crazy Asian]

as soon as she throws that line out, just don't say another word to her and walk over to the couch as start watching tv. she'll be like - wtf? and it'll f*ck with her mind so bad

i've never done this, and have only had sex once, so i don't know how well it'll work.

 

[Prodigy746]

yea, they're already lying in bed naked and he's gonna say some line like that. she's gonna look at him like, wtf is this guy retarded?

that close to the lay and you STILL wanna do push-pull

lolol

Isnt that EXACTLY what she is doing though?? look at what you said she is in the bed naked saying we not gonna do this.

 

[Jitterbug]

Isnt that EXACTLY what she is doing though?? look at what you said she is in the bed naked saying we not gonna do this.

Yeah but she's a woman and he's a man. She'd even say something like "we shouldn't be doing this" followed by "oh god, harder, harder".

Look, women do this LMR bullsh!t and guys have to learn how to deal with it. The more often you f-close girls, the more similar situations you'll run into. It's actually quite fun to play this game when you learn to read the situation instead of listening to her words.

 

[ready123]

Youre sooo right casanova. So what should he do?

- well he could read her and acknowledge where the LMR is coming from (is it because she needs reassurance you're not gonna run around and tell everyone she's a lsut? is it because she's got concerns about STD's? is it because you're escalating too fast?)
- he could use Mystery's 6 hr rule - wait 6 hrs and try again
- he could do a freeze out - kill the moment by saying OK, then ignore her, go in the living room and watch TV or something, watch how she reacts (Mystery came up w/ this too... it works, I've done it before)
- he could go do a search on LMR on any seduction board and see waht comes up

LMR is common as hell, especially in cold pick-ups. it's caused by the same thing that causes flaking (lack of connection/rapport/comfort/etc) so just because you get resistance doesn't mean she doesn't want you. you guys are already buck naked - women are not that stupid to not know what's coming up next

for all the totally neutral things some of you guys interpret as sh*t tests, this is one major sht test you guys should be able to pick up on

 

[DJDamage]

"you are in luck, I only have sex with girls who have boyfriends".

 

[jamescr73]

if she said this one main thing comes to mind. First off, you didnt have her "ready" yet. With teasing, anticipation, 2 steps forward 1 back, and foreplay, you should have her so horny she doesnt care who you are, she needs the d1ck right now. This is the situation i am usually in. Ive only had maybe 2 LMR's that didnt turn into an F-close. If she says "i only have sex with my boyfriend" i say "who said anything about sex?, i was just wanting to make out for a while, i dont have sex this early on anyway" etc. This will ease her mind that you arent out to stick it in her, while you keep up with the teasing and anticipation. 45 minutes of that and she will be begging you to fvck her.

 

[oakraiderz2]

- well he could read her and acknowledge where the LMR is coming from (is it because she needs reassurance you're not gonna run around and tell everyone she's a lsut? is it because she's got concerns about STD's? is it because you're escalating too fast?)
- he could use Mystery's 6 hr rule - wait 6 hrs and try again
- he could do a freeze out - kill the moment by saying OK, then ignore her, go in the living room and watch TV or something, watch how she reacts (Mystery came up w/ this too... it works, I've done it before)
- he could go do a search on LMR on any seduction board and see waht comes up

LMR is common as hell, especially in cold pick-ups. it's caused by the same thing that causes flaking (lack of connection/rapport/comfort/etc) so just because you get resistance doesn't mean she doesn't want you. you guys are already buck naked - women are not that stupid to not know what's coming up next

for all the totally neutral things some of you guys interpret as sh*t tests, this is one major sht test you guys should be able to pick up on

Interesting how you criticize my idea but you suggest remotely similar tactics. You say that shell think the guy is retarded but what would she think if the dude just walked away and watched some tv. The principle idea behind my suggestion and one of yours are the same. You cant really give a reason as to why my idea was so bad when your suggesting to wait six hours.

If she says "i only have sex with my boyfriend" i say "who said anything about sex?, i was just wanting to make out for a while, i dont have sex this early on anyway" etc. This will ease her mind that you arent out to stick it in her, while you keep up with the teasing and anticipation.

This is essentially what i was getting at...just by taking a different route.

 

[ready123]

Interesting how you criticize my idea but you suggest remotely similar tactics. You say that shell think the guy is retarded but what would she think if the dude just walked away and watched some tv. The principle idea behind my suggestion and one of yours are the same. You cant really give a reason as to why my idea was so bad when your suggesting to wait six hours.

jesus...

you're telling the girl you don't wanna have sex with her right when you guys are ALREADY NAKED. how is that situationally relevant? so are you a wierdo who just likes to lie in bed naked with women and not do anything? or maybe your sexual confidence is so low you'd rather keep running the same game you ran 2 hrs ago instead of making it happen. maybe your game up to this point was just a fluke and now it's falling apart because you've never been in this type of situation before. this is what you're subcommunicating to her. watch your value go down

you heard that line somewhere and now you're misapplying it. lines like those are what you say when you're gaming a girl to get rid of the playa vibe. not when you already got her and she wants you and is just running typical LMR

if you do a freeze out, which is what walking out on her after the LMR, the context is SHE killed anything worthwhile that would've happend for the rest of the night. she ruined the mood and you're gonna let the excitement die unless she does something. so now you're calling her bluff. if she wanted you bad, and chances are if she's naked and turned on, she DID, then she's gonna chase you and repoen you and the LMR is gonna be down next time you try to escalate

 

[drmeathead]

hmmmm i think everyone has run into this at one point or another. my experience is to let them initiate the game of just the tip by physically putting it in them. i do agree you shouldnt escalate further once you hear those words. you should stop all together if she pushed you away in any manner.

if she just tells you she only has sex with bfs...stay in the holding pattern you are in for five minutes. then relax...she doesnt get the post **** cuddle though which she will probably will attempt. give her a mini verison then go to the bathroom and go watch tv in the living room or go chill in some room she is not.

see if she chases you. if she does try to hook up again. if she blue balls you again...roll. if it is at your place ignore her till she rolls.

if she doesnt chase you, watch a movie. if it is at her place leave if she asks you to. if it is at your place do whatever the **** you want.

what will probably happen is she will chase you just enough to see if you still want her. she will get her validation that you could have you if she wanted to but she is going to because she is a good girl. at this point you have become dehumanized as you are now an object in her measure of her own morality not, a person who is affected by her deliberate measured cold game of sexual redlight green light.

this redlight green light is a bull**** move. it shows alot of disregard for your feelings. i dont know if it is deal breaking disrespect but it is certainly enough to justify being distant for a few days. you need to train her sublty that if she doesnt put out you wont be around. YOU CANT ACTUALLY SAY IT. you just have to let her figure it out: put out as much as i want you to, when i want you to or you could (not will) lose me. you cannt be in a situation with any woman where the sex is handed out in a ration like manner as a reward for something.

 

[zinc64]

how do you respond to that? its happened to me twice in the last few weeks. both times i had the girl in bed, either topless or naked, and once it starts going past the make out stage they drop that line. both with single girls too, is it a sh1t test? trying to get commitment? wtf?

Wow...you are fooled pretty easily. It's a comfort issue with her not feeling like a slut. You can play this two ways. Indifferent or romantic. You can say to her...good, I feel the same way...or you can say...I like you a lot and I want to be with you while kissing her lips, neck and ears and looking into her eyes. The latter option will definitely get you action.

 

[Shyyhs]

Kick her out right on the spot. She'll learn her lesson.