I need some SERIOUS advice please...

[x2xgamer]

Okay, well some of you may remember my predicament, but if not I will try to summarize it real quick :

I recently turned 18, and about a month ago my ex-girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I tried to do everything to get her to have an abortion or even to go for adoption, but she won't. She and her mom are really close and she even imitates her and I think she is being influenced by her mom who is telling her to keep the baby. Thus, she has dropped out of high school and wants to get her GED and then go to college, at the same time maintaining a job, and raising a baby. Any time that I tell her that she cant possibly do all of this at once, she claims I am "putting her down" because I tell her things like "you dont want to be a dropout", and so on.

Money isn't that big of an issue. Her parents are well-off, and she told me that she won't take me to court. Regardless, even if she does, and the DNA test comes back positive, then I'll just man up and pay the goddamn child support. It won't be a big deal to me.

I told her that I don't want to be romantically involved with her anymore, I don't want to stay with her and live the life that SHE wants to live, thats unfair to me. She knows I am going away to college soon, and I told her that I will do what I can when it comes to my responsibilities as a father to this baby.

Now, this girl was my first LTR. She was the only girl that I ever loved and had a meaningful relationship with. Since this has happened she has been doing everything to piss me off, she hangs out with her ex, tells him that she loves him...when I confront her about it she says "I love him like a friend". I have a pretty good bull**** detector, and its really really hard for me to get over her.

It's easy to be a DJ and say that girls don't mean anything to you, but once they get to the point where they mean the world, it's really hard to let go. I know for a fact that I don't want to get back with her, but I also don't want to see her with someone else either....

My morals won't allow me to just not talk to her again, although that is what my DJ brain is telling me to do...at least until the baby comes out. I don't want to be a ****, I know she wants me back, she still tells me she loves me and ****.

I want to be clear about not wanting her back romantically, I told her that we would be friends. But its hard to be friends and I need a way to ELIMINATE jealousy and the pain that comes from seeing the **** that she says..

SHOULD I :

1. Avoid all contact with her until she gets the ****ing message or gets the baby, whichever comes first

2. Remain friends with her but not see her that much and not kiss her when we do see each other

3. Remain friends with her and see her often and have sex/make out with her (hey , you cant get pregnant twice!!) the thing about this is I dont know if shes doing anything with anyone else. She tells me that shes not...but who knows...you know??

Other options??? Put yourself in my position...or at least try to

shout out to all the DJ's in here, thanks for helping a brother in need, this **** is stressing me out and affecting my work/game/school and everything.

please only serious responses. i appreciate it

 

[Mr. Wolf]

She feeds off people telling her and pointing her into the right direction. That's called attention wh0ring..

Avoid all contact with her.. Until she contacts you, at which point, tell her straight up, I neither care about you, nor about your baby.. In fact, I think the baby is not my. It can't be mine, you are a lair and a cheater, and a looser. I am not going to ruin my life just like you are doing, stay away from me..



Hopefully, this will push her out far enough for her to want to be with you, for which she knows she needs to do an abortion.



The baby is not yours bro, it can't be.. Believe it until she shoves a test down your throat. At which point, deny it and do whatever you have to do so you don't have to pay.. Simple..



No, you are not smart if you want to step up, or be the man.. You can do that later on if you want to, like when the baby is grown, teents, etc.. If it is in fact yours....


That wh0re is not acting like it is yours.. She is acting like a hooker, push you away, so you stay close by her, a money sugar daddy b1tch..


Tell her straight up, you can not be with me ever if you have this baby. Get an abortion, or get lost, slvt.

 

[Mr. Wolf]

Another thing you should do is have your parents take you to her place and talk to their parents.. They should tell them straight up that you planning to do nothing with her nor her baby..

While they are talking you be a good boy and don't open your mouth or look tought.. Appear totally immature and sorry..


Once those parents see that you aren't much of a guy they wouldn't want her daughter to have that kid, because it would be a bad decision..



Talk to your dad, show him this thread.. Tell him you got some advice, ask him what he thinks.

 

[x2xgamer]

I appreciate the advice, but the thing is the baby is most likely mine, and I don't know if I would be able to leave my son/daughter with a psycho loser teenage girl such as her, without any kind of support from me. I don't want to meet my first son in 20/30 years and have him/her ask "Why weren't you there for me Dad?" Its not the babys fault that we ****ed up. I don't even have enough money right now, I'm a broke college student...I don't think the court will force me to pay her $$ if I'm broke..

She will never get an abortion. It's too far into it for her to even safely get one. I know this is a fact:nothing I do or say will get her an abortion.

If I call her a slut/***** and ****, she can ruin my life by taking me to court, accusing me of ****, etc. I want to stay on good terms with her but I want to make it clear that I'm not ready for a baby right now. I have to put my education first. I told my parents and they told her parents that I was going to try and be supportive, and just be a friend to her. Is this the right approach? Since I said that shes blocked me on facebook and myspace and she's being an immature little *****.

what can i do

 

[DavenJuan]

Another thing you should do is have your parents take you to her place and talk to their parents.. They should tell them straight up that you planning to do nothing with her nor her baby..

While they are talking you be a good boy and don't open your mouth or look tought.. Appear totally immature and sorry..


Once those parents see that you aren't much of a guy they wouldn't want her daughter to have that kid, because it would be a bad decision..



Talk to your dad, show him this thread.. Tell him you got some advice, ask him what he thinks.

I hope you are being extremely saccastic because that is the worse advice i have ever heard or read on this board.....EVER. and if you are joking around, i definitely would not be telling someone or sending this message just in case it may get misconstrued.

Listen... iyou think this child REALLY isnt yours, have a test taken.

if you think this child IS yours....have a test taken.

have a test taken regardless. i know somone who after 15 years found out his daughter really wasnt his. dont let that be you.

however, if this child is yours, man up, take responsibility. it is next to impossible for her to go to school, work, take care of the baby and everything else. be a bit sensitive though. also, you and her BOTH made this baby, so if your PRIORITIES need to change bacause of this development, maybe you should rethink a few things as well.

the whole thing about her and this ex. i use to be in the same situation. had an ex, didnt really want to be with her anymore but didnt want her with anyone else either. i realized well after that i just wanted my cake and eat it too. if this other guy makes her happy than she loses out on what a great guy you are.

tough siutation to be in at 18. but you can handle it. good luck man and take responsiblity

 

[Mr. Wolf]

I hope you are being extremely saccastic because that is the worse advice i have ever heard or read on this board.....EVER. and if you are joking around, i definitely would not be telling someone or sending this message just in case it may get misconstrued.

Listen... iyou think this child REALLY isnt yours, have a test taken.

if you think this child IS yours....have a test taken.

have a test taken regardless. i know somone who after 15 years found out his daughter really wasnt his. dont let that be you.

however, if this child is yours, man up, take responsibility. it is next to impossible for her to go to school, work, take care of the baby and everything else. be a bit sensitive though. also, you and her BOTH made this baby, so if your PRIORITIES need to change bacause of this development, maybe you should rethink a few things as well.

the whole thing about her and this ex. i use to be in the same situation. had an ex, didnt really want to be with her anymore but didnt want her with anyone else either. i realized well after that i just wanted my cake and eat it too. if this other guy makes her happy than she loses out on what a great guy you are.

tough siutation to be in at 18. but you can handle it. good luck man and take responsiblity

That is an AFC advice. Written by an AFC for an AFC. He might listen.

 

[x2xgamer]

Repeat: its not the babies fault that this happened. I cant neglect it man, its my flesh & blood man i will love him/her forever if they are really mine, how can you not? Its ****ing YOU, your cells, your offspring. whos gonna take care of me when im old like a *****? my children. don't neglect a kid, its one of the most selfish things you can do, and I guarantee it WILL come back to haunt you later in life.

this thread is about how I should deal with HER. she is what i need advice about.

 

[DavenJuan]

That is an AFC advice. Written by an AFC for an AFC. He might listen.

AFC Advice would be telling someone to walk away from responsibilities. not only are you telling him to walk away. you are telling him to pull off some type of acadamy award performance and pulling his parents into this.

he created this. his parents should have nothing to do with this...THAT is what an AFC would do. go run to mommy and daddy and put on a show to get out of priorities.

..as far as what to do about her. what can you do? what is it that you want to do?

you guys dont have to be together.. just be cordial. she has no control over what type of father you are. you do.

stop being 18 and be a father now. tough to be both

 

[x2xgamer]

her mom is going to do most of the taking care of it

im just going to try and be there for it as much as i can, which isn't a lot at this point but it will be when i graduate from med school (which is..like 11 years =/ ).

 

[Mr. Wolf]

stop being 18 and be a father now. tough to be both

AFC advice. AND he wants to fight. :box:


Chill out tiger, what you know about babies. You're about to drag a boy into the deep end of a pool filled with sh1t. It's easy to stand on the side and watch him do it, I agree with you.. :woo:

 

[Mr. Wolf]

when i graduate from med school (which is..like 11 years =/ ).

:yawn: In 11 years you will be brock, old, with grey hair, and absolutely no sex life. Though, good luck working pay check to pay check to make two mommies, her husband, and their baby happy.


This is officially the saddest AFC thread I ever read in here.

 

[DavenJuan]

so help me understand what you are saying wolf..

at what point do you take responsiblity for something you had done? lets take the whole baby thing outta the equation for a second.

we are talking about life in general. when sh*t hits the fan, you dont pick up and run and find every possible excuse to NOT have to deal with it.

you MAN UP , take the punches, and deal with it. read my sig buddy, it says it all.

 

[Mr. Wolf]

Man up, and make the b1tch get rid of the kid, abort it. Do I really have to S P E L L it out to you?

 

[x2xgamer]

:yawn: In 11 years you will be brock, old, with grey hair, and absolutely no sex life. Though, good luck working pay check to pay check to make two mommies, her husband, and their baby happy.


This is officially the saddest AFC thread I ever read in here.

At 29? I'll have no sex life at 29? Yeah, good thing you warned me man or else I wouldn't have ever known

Ill have most of my life in front of me, plus a nice 6 digit salary to boot. Telling me to tell her to get an abortion when i KNOW she will never get one is pretty stupid

Don't throw AFC around like that, I assure you I am far from AFC and your 'predictions' about my life are pretty far off and that is the mentality of an average chump. "Oh at 29 you'll have no sex life...yadda yadda yadda"


get real

 

[DavenJuan]

lol...your freakin' ridiculous. xgamer. at this point i have to believe this advice is merely entertainment.

you are providing no positive feedback, he already said in his OP that she isnt getting rid of it.

should he push her down the stairs next and if that doesnt work kick her in the belly?? this is how ridiculous your advice sounds

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Your morals won't allow you to just not talk to her anymore? Where were your morals when you were fornicating and having unprotected sex? At least she knows her values, wether you agree or not, and she stands for something and can make a decision.

Sounds like you have a lot of maturing to do also. It is not just her. You don't want to see her with anybody else? Look, it is not just about you anymore. You either get involved with her, or let her live her life. Go get a test. Then man up and do what is necessary.

You really don't have it as bad as you could, but if you continue to escalate this situation into one where things get nasty, then you will have a lot of baggage to carry for a long time. If you get into a nasty situation with her and her family, you will be very lucky if you get to go to college anytime soon.

If you can go to school, and still be part of the kids life, without having to pay much, or any, child support, you will already be way ahead of most teenagers who have unplanned kids. Stop worrying about the "minor" inconveniences of having a kid right now, because that is what they are, when you compare how much worse you could have it. This is your chance to mature and to get serious about something, in your case, college and your life.

 

[Mr. Wolf]

At 29? I'll have no sex life at 29? Yeah, good thing you warned me man or else I wouldn't have ever known

Ill have most of my life in front of me, plus a nice 6 digit salary to boot. Telling me to tell her to get an abortion when i KNOW she will never get one is pretty stupid

Don't throw AFC around like that, I assure you I am far from AFC and your 'predictions' about my life are pretty far off and that is the mentality of an average chump. "Oh at 29 you'll have no sex life...yadda yadda yadda"


get real

HAHAHAHA. You're wrong at assuming I care about your life or about my advice on how to get it back on track.. Just like you wrong about everything else.. You're 18? Six digit salary. What else you dreaming off? Oh yea, great sex life. You could practically spin plates between soccer practice and a six digit job.


You're truly a master don juan, at 18 you already knocked up a psycho. We have another thread going on in here, about how lowering your standards makes you feel, you should participate.. Because you're a cool guy..

 

[x2xgamer]

all pregnant women get irrational and psychotic at some point

I still have a clear shot at going through medical school, which after 11 years i will have finished my residency and I will be able to join my uncle's clinic which is the largest in the state. So yeah, money is an issue now but it won't be forever.

And please .... Mr. Wolf shut up. Just don't reply in my thread anymore. I asked for serious replies and you're in here trying to be funny. I don't appreciate it. You clearly know absolutely NOTHING about me, and you clearly know nothing about giving solid advice. Telling me to tell her to get an abortion when I clearly stated that she won't is simply an example of your incompetence and your prediction that my sex life is over because of this is downright laughable.

I may not want her anymore because of this, but this chick is a HB 8.5 on her off days...no joke. And I have had an excellent sex life since the age of 16, I am not disappointed in the amount of pus$y I can get easily. And no, I don't lower my standards. I dont need to. so please don't go running your mouth about things that you don't even know about. No one cares about your e-penis or your internet attitude. My life isn't "ruined" because of this, this has happened to many people before, I'm not the first or the last.

So take your sh!t somewhere else, troll. you remind me of kids in high school

"damn dude you gotta get her an abortion OR ELSE your not gonna have a sex life and you will be old with grey hair at the age of 30!!!11!!11!!!"

people amaze me.

 

[DonJuan11]

Okay, well some of you may remember my predicament, but if not I will try to summarize it real quick :

I recently turned 18, and about a month ago my ex-girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I tried to do everything to get her to have an abortion or even to go for adoption, but she won't. She and her mom are really close and she even imitates her and I think she is being influenced by her mom who is telling her to keep the baby. Thus, she has dropped out of high school and wants to get her GED and then go to college, at the same time maintaining a job, and raising a baby. Any time that I tell her that she cant possibly do all of this at once, she claims I am "putting her down" because I tell her things like "you dont want to be a dropout", and so on.

Money isn't that big of an issue. Her parents are well-off, and she told me that she won't take me to court. Regardless, even if she does, and the DNA test comes back positive, then I'll just man up and pay the goddamn child support. It won't be a big deal to me.

I told her that I don't want to be romantically involved with her anymore, I don't want to stay with her and live the life that SHE wants to live, thats unfair to me. She knows I am going away to college soon, and I told her that I will do what I can when it comes to my responsibilities as a father to this baby.

Now, this girl was my first LTR. She was the only girl that I ever loved and had a meaningful relationship with. Since this has happened she has been doing everything to piss me off, she hangs out with her ex, tells him that she loves him...when I confront her about it she says "I love him like a friend". I have a pretty good bull**** detector, and its really really hard for me to get over her.

It's easy to be a DJ and say that girls don't mean anything to you, but once they get to the point where they mean the world, it's really hard to let go. I know for a fact that I don't want to get back with her, but I also don't want to see her with someone else either....

My morals won't allow me to just not talk to her again, although that is what my DJ brain is telling me to do...at least until the baby comes out. I don't want to be a ****, I know she wants me back, she still tells me she loves me and ****.

I want to be clear about not wanting her back romantically, I told her that we would be friends. But its hard to be friends and I need a way to ELIMINATE jealousy and the pain that comes from seeing the **** that she says..

SHOULD I :

1. Avoid all contact with her until she gets the ****ing message or gets the baby, whichever comes first

2. Remain friends with her but not see her that much and not kiss her when we do see each other

3. Remain friends with her and see her often and have sex/make out with her (hey , you cant get pregnant twice!!) the thing about this is I dont know if shes doing anything with anyone else. She tells me that shes not...but who knows...you know??

Other options??? Put yourself in my position...or at least try to

shout out to all the DJ's in here, thanks for helping a brother in need, this **** is stressing me out and affecting my work/game/school and everything.

please only serious responses. i appreciate it

This is a joke thread. At least I was serious when I asked if I should thank a HB for her letting me touch her all over.

 

[Last Man Standing]

The scariest feeling for an 18 year old man is when the dreaded "I'm pregnant" phone call comes in the middle of the night and you hear whimpering cries on the other end of the line!!!

Your heart will sink and you will get a big lump in your throat and become speechless, sweat will start rolling down your back and you will sense oncoming stomach cramps - you will begin to quiver and uncontrollably shake.

The shaking starts from your knees and your legs will be unable to support the weight of your body, so you'll look for a chair, but there will be none to be found, so in defeat you will just drop the total weight of your body onto the floor! You start hitting your forehead and pulling your hair, as if this will help alleviate the thump and heaviness that you feel in your racing heart!

You'll start whispering profanities and start murmuring to yourself "how could this have happened". Then you look down at your little penis and blame him to be the culprit – “such a little thing was given so much power”, you ponder!! But you soon realize that your little fellow was not the problem, rather it was your mind and your wrongful thinking for caving into your lusts for a hor!

Then you start praying that the test results were wrong or this is just a hoax, that this girl is lying because she wants to trap you into a commitment...but her consistent pleas and cries for your understanding convinces you that she is not lying. Then you start becoming delusional and babbling incoherent utterances! You start obsessively lying to her, "I'll take care of the baby honey, I won't leave you - don't worry I'm here for you", all the while you are packing your suitcase and thinking of the fastest escape route out of the city.

After you make these false assurances to her you hang up and call your best buddy for words of comfort and guidance. You give him the news, he says in his most eloquent speech, "Damn, that’s fawked up!" and nothing else is said. Instead of his words comforting you, he only deepens your sense of panic and finally you come to grips with the severity and desperateness of your situation.

You use him as a sounding board and relate to him your current wretched condition, “Damn, I’m 18, in school, no job, I only had one woman and she got pregnant the first time we did it, in nine months I’ll be buying diapers at the Quiki Mart instead of beer, I’ll have to work two jobs to make ends meet, I will have no free time, my educational and career goals are on an indefinite delay, and my future love life looks bleak! What are my parents going to say, when they find out of my irresponsible conduct??? Your buddy in his profound verbosity responds back, “Yikes!!!” You hang up the phone wondering why this guy is your best friend.

You gather yourself off of the floor and you are ridiculously dizzy as a result of the swirling mess that you got yourself into. Then you try to swallow but you find that there is no saliva in your mouth and you make a loud gulping sound, “GULP!!!” Your mouth is dryer than dirt, and your head is pounding. You run to the mirror to see your physically deteriorating self, you don’t like what has become of you in the last 17 minutes! You grab your face with both of your palms and you break down and cry like a biatch and hit the floor once again!!

12 minutes of sobbing makes you feel a little bit better but it is no cure….”I have to be a man”, you say, in a high pitch nasally kid’s voice! Your 110 pound body frame, your undeveloped state of mind and your less than masculine voice reminds you that you are just a pathetic dependent child whose penis has wreaked havoc upon your early manhood – you once again start crying uncontrollably and fall to the floor like a weak feeble lamb that was just born, whose legs are too undeveloped to sustain the weight of his mass.

Suddenly the phone rings, and you wipe your tears away so that your vision is no longer blurred, only then will you be able to see where the phone lays. As you pick up the receiver you try to answer with a confident strong upbeat tone in your voice that belies your miserable and deteriorating mental state. You make a feeble attempt, “Hello”. Your girl is on the other end of the receiver and senses you are not the same man that you were 29 minutes ago, and she asks if you are “ok”. You try to respond but the lack of spit in your mouth and all that crying dehydrated you to the point of making you into a mute! You grab some water and drink it too fast to the point of choking and almost drowning yourself in water and in your own misery!

You run back to the phone and with mock confidence answer to her, “What’s going on?” She is blunt and to the point, “I’m not pregnant – I just had my period”. You are speechless once again, but this time you are not dumbfounded by misery but by joy and you try to act as if what has transpired in the last 29 minutes didn’t profoundly and negatively affect you, “Great, I wasn’t worried, I was ready to do what I had to do to take care of what I brought into this world”. You feel like a liar and a low life because you see out of the corner of your eye your luggage strewn on the floor bulging at the seams from your hurried plan to escape. Beside the luggage you had a map of the city with the fastest route out of town outlined in red!

You make another weak attempt to put a positive spin on what could have been a disastrous situation that would have had dire consequences on your future plans! You couldn’t think of anything original to say so you borrow from Shakespeare and firmly state, “All is well that ends well!” And then in a '****y and funny' Don Juan tone you blurt out, “You are on your period, so does that mean we are not having sex tonight?”

the moral to the story is - we never learn our lesson until our lesson is taught! The only sure way of not getting a woman pregnant is to abstain from sex!!!