So my ex-fiance broke up with me and monkey branched to her co-worker around 5 months ago. We've been in no contact for almost 2 months. However, her dad who I was and am on good terms with still contacts and invites me to family outings. It's weird af to me. I respect him and don't want to be rude about it but I feel I need to cut that off. It's like clockwork: every time I get her off my mind I get a message. Any advice on how to handle it?
I need some help...
- Thread starter rezarect
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CaptainNotSoObvious
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The real question is, are you hoping or do you want to take back your monkey branching ex-fiance?
stovepipe
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You're causing these triggers to yourself and delaying your healing for reasons only you can answer nor will I assume. If you want to heal, the only way to do so is to cut ties with him and you know that.
I understand it's hard to do but you must be more selfish for "you". Some might say it's not manly to tell the dad you want to cut ties to better your mental health. Being honest shows you have respect for him and yourself. He will respect you for that. Most would take the ghosting route as it's easier. And who tf cares what she thinks if her dad tells her you cut ties. They are all out your life by then anyways
I understand it's hard to do but you must be more selfish for "you". Some might say it's not manly to tell the dad you want to cut ties to better your mental health. Being honest shows you have respect for him and yourself. He will respect you for that. Most would take the ghosting route as it's easier. And who tf cares what she thinks if her dad tells her you cut ties. They are all out your life by then anyways
No. Do I still care? Of course. But I realize how much that relationship was holding me and her both back. I've accomplished more without her than I did with her. Going back would mean stopping myself from the growth I need.
@stovepipe your assumption's aren't off base. I plan on addressing this today.
I had this once before. I was engaged to a chick and about 8 months into engagement i found9 out she was cheating on me. I cut all ties with her and canceled the wedding and all plans that were made.
Her life went into a downward spiral after that she got into drugs bad because of the guys she was hooking up with were not good for her etc etc, we all know how much of a car crash women can be after you break up with them. I had moved on and didnt care anymore.
Out of the blue i get a call from her father. He wanted to go for coffee. So i met him. It was a nice meeting he was telling me how much of a disaster his daughter had turned into "since i canceled the wedding etc etc," and he went on how i was the best thing she ever had, and wanted to know if i would ever forgive her and take her back, because he saw "me" as the only thing that would fix his daughter.
I explained to him that she was forgiven i no longer cared what she did, but taking her back will never happen. One chance per lifetime and she blew hers.
Well long story short he took me out for coffee 2 more times to beg me to take her back. The last time i asked him to not contact me any more if the subject of his daughter was brought up because i was involved with another woman and wanted nothing to do with his daughter again. I told him i respected him but have zero respect for her. We could chat again , but i refuse to discuss her again.
So you know he will probably try a few more times. He wants you in her life. Be polite but firm. Let him know you have moved on and if he would like to sit and chat that is fine. But the topic of her is off limits..
@dude99 thanks for the insight.
I'm meeting with him later to pick up the gift he purchased for my daughter and I. I plan on letting him know I appreciate the concern but his daughter is happy where she is and so am I. If we reunite down the road cool. However for right now it's pointless to try and keep me involved when neither her or myself are into it.
I'm meeting with him later to pick up the gift he purchased for my daughter and I. I plan on letting him know I appreciate the concern but his daughter is happy where she is and so am I. If we reunite down the road cool. However for right now it's pointless to try and keep me involved when neither her or myself are into it.
CaptainNotSoObvious
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And here I am thinking only my exes were a mess after I broke up with them.
The difference being that I always worried about them after dropping them.
I should really learn not to give a f#uck anymore.