I need some advice with my roommate (HELP)

The Master Disaster

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I'm really close with my roommate. We're like brothers, but I don't know what to do. His ex-girlfriend, who cheated on him with a 30 year old, fat, bald, short guy, came back into his life, and he's falling hard again. He's self-destructive.

His girlfriend broke up with him 6 months ago. They had gone out for 6 years. She (19 years old) left him for a 30 year old, bald, short, fat, recently divorced, father of two which she met through work. After she said it was over, she left for the weekend. I was gone for the weekend. He didn't say anything, but through the week I kept asking him what's wrong. He told me about it on the following Friday. I would hear him at night openly weeping. So, about a week later. He was getting better. Then one night he saw her leaving to meet her new boyfriend and he tried to stop her. She wouldn't stop, and so she went back to pack up to spend the night. He comes back to the dorm. I tell him to drop it, and there is nothing good can come from it. He was almost delusional. He went out there and stood behind her car, and she BACKED UP and hit him (slowly)! He came back and told me I was write. He then said and I quote, "Don't ever let her in again. Even if I want here in, don't let me."

So the next Monday, she sent roses and made up. Things have been icy for 6 months since then. Then a week ago, He went to the gym to work out. I didn't go. He came back 15 minutes later heated and again delusional. He wouldn't even talk to me or slow down. He came and left 2 times. So I knew something was up. He came back 5 minutes later and went to his room and shut the door. He came out at like 11:00 p.m. (3 or 4 hours later). I was like, "You gonna tell me what the hell is up." Relucantly, "He told me. His ex and her same boyfriend came to the gym and ran on the treadmills right in front of him. Then the boyfriend looked backed at him and smiled. Then my roommate looked at him and said, "What!?" And he said nothing. Then he looked back again and smiled. My roommate got off the treadmill and started a confrontation with him. Nothing happened, but that is when he came back to the dorm and apparently grabbed a knife that I didn't see. Apparently, he was going to go knife the boyfriends tires.

So today, I woke up at noon, and my roommate came back from class. My other roommate asked my roommate if he was going somewhere because he had a jacket on. He said no. Then maybe 1 minute later he left. He had class at 1:30. He didn't come back by then. He finally came back at 6 p.m. I knew I heard his ex's voice. I knew this wasn't going to be good. I asked him where he went just because I knew he was with his ex. Then he said, he went to the mall, and bought a shirt. 6 hours = 1 shirt? So I asked him how his ex was. He looked at me baffled and said, "She's good. Her parents told her that they'd love to see me." He had a smirk on his face. So 10 p.m. rolls around, she gets off work usually at 11 or 12 btw, we watch the soup. The soup ends. (She lives right across the hall) He starts looking out the curtains. Then he looks out the door eye hole. He did this like 3 or 5 times. He keeps looking at his phone. I just leave. Then sure enough 11:30 she comes in.

Sorry for the lengthy story, but I have no clue what to do. I don't want to be a **** block, but I don't want to see him go down this road. She's just going back to him because he's now knew and her parents excommunicated her. She's still dating this 30 year old guy. So I'm thinking she just wants my roommate to get back on good terms with her parents. So they'll probably date for awhile. She'll get bored and move on again. I don't want to see my roommate go down this road again. He's a little obsessive when it comes to his girlfriend. He rotates around her schedule. Class, friends, family all come in second. He almost down right stalks his girlfriends. When they did date, we would hang out when his girlfriend wasn't at work. I mean it's a little insulting sometimes you'd be hanging out playing football or basketball with 6-10 guys. Then 11:00 rolls around, and in the middle of the game he'd leave, and you'd not see him again till 3:00 the following afternoon when his girlfriend left.

What the hell do I do?
 

zinc64

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Hmmm...my cousin is like your friend. The solution is very very difficult for someone like that. He needs a lot of professional help. That girl is a ***** and if I were you, I'd tell her to not **** with your friend anymore and tell her she is a common street *****. This may seem harsh, but this is a snake and your friend is weak prey.
 

j0n024

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Really your friend told you to "Not let her in," so why arent you doing your job? I agree next time go with him or meet up with them and protect your boy from this little attention ***** ....your not doing your job and it's tearing your friend apart.
 

WC2

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If you're really as close as you say you are, you need help your friend out.

When my ex cheated on me awhile ago, I was down in the dumps for at least a week or so. It would have definitely been a longer period if I didn't have such great friends who had experiences of their own when it came to women like that.

The bottom line here is that he let a woman take over his life and created a comfort zone, which you CANNOT do. If you can't be your own man in a relationship and carry your head high alone, then you're just setting yourself up for massive heartache. Don't get me wrong, 6 years is a long time, but the fact that he's chasing after her after she did this to him shows you a lot about where his self-worth is at right now.

Talk to your boy, have a heart to heart with him and get him back on track.
 
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