I need advice about this situation

[Baibars]

Last year i came back to this forum after a bad heartbreak with a girl that left me.
I liked that girl a lot but she had so many red flags + her family and culture were not compatible with mine.
I knew that very well.
After that i needed a few months to get back on track. I started hitting the gym and had sex with a few girls. That wasn`t really exciting and most of these girls weren`t interesting for me other than sex. I hated every minute spending with them after we did it.
Then i met a girl on a online dating app. She didn`t even have a photo of herself but i still started a conversation because she was from my country of origin.
So we chatted back and forth without any intention and then we exchanged numbers. She revealed that she was in a unhappy marriage, married pretty young.
She`s 23 years old and childless. I enjoyed talking to her and i swear since these uninteresting hoes gave me sex, sex wasn`t what made me continue the conversation. I just liked her.
Yeah, she was still officially married but they were just living together, nothing else. I also have to admit that she did say that she`d like to wait until her situation would be solved because she was trying to get divorced but couldn't because of her very strict and religious environment.
Then in january i took a flight and we met there. I was staying at a hotel and we had sex, did a lot of activities etc. The time with her was great.
On my last day there she decided to end her marriage and move to her familys village. Now she`s divorced and as far as i know she ended it very civil without causing any trouble.
We met again in april. She was staying with her sister but our "relationshiop" had to be secret because her family is very strict and her brothers would basically kill her if they knew about us.
I met her again in april and everything was fine again. I was happy being with her. While i`m talking to her, i still spin plates and have fun. The thing is... i can see myself being with this girl long term, marry or even have kids. I already have 2 kids and she accepts them BUT there are some problems that make me doubt.

Negative points:
- she cheated while being officially married (but she was trying to get a divorce which is not easy in our culture, they forced her to continue the marriage, she has no job or any autonomy there)
- she was already talking to another guy about a year before me, that didnt work out because her family found out
- she told me about sexual abuse in a hospital once but her ex didnt do anything about it even though they were married
- her dad left them when they were kids and started a new family, she doesnt like him
- we had sex and everything during that week i was there and she was still married and she lied to her then husband to be with me

positive points:
- she never wanted to lock me down or expected anything financial from me
- she told me all of the above without me needing to ask her, she didnt hide anything from me
- i had access to her phone
- she can cook and clean and do everything else in the house
- she knows my culture and my family would accept her
- she gives me a lot of love and attention
- low body count (she says only her ex husband) they even check that there when someone marries, she was also very inexperienced at sex
- i like her a lot more than for sex only

we are together for about 6 months now and things might get more serious next year. i would talk with my family about her etc. This wasnt the whole story of course but a short version.

I know what she did was wrong and if i wasnt aware of it, i wouldnt even think about it. These things are fcked up and i wish it wasnt like this but i like this girl. She was honest with me and didnt even lie about the mistakes she did.

You guys will probably roast me now but i thought its better talking openly about this than keeping it all for my self.

 

[BeExcellent]

There are several questions I'd ask you to explain (assuming your story is accurate at face value):

1. Does she seem to have genuine interest in you and attraction toward you?

AND

2. How do you become introduced to her family?

Are you in India or a Muslim country with such strict cultural standards? Is her value less within her family now because she is divorced and how will that impact your interaction?

Will her family be able to accept your children from a previous relationship and will they accept you?

 

[Baibars]

There are several questions I'd ask you to explain (assuming your story is accurate at face value):

1. Does she seem to have genuine interest in you and attraction toward you?

AND

2. How do you become introduced to her family?

Are you in India or a Muslim country with such strict cultural standards? Is her value less within her family now because she is divorced and how will that impact your interaction?

Will her family be able to accept your children from a previous relationship and will they accept you?

She has a lot of interest in me and is extremely attracted to me.
Right now she cannot introduce me to her family because the divorce has only happened a few month ago.
We did talk about that and she says it`s best to wait until some time has passed.

I`m not in a muslim country but the country she lives in is my country of origin and it is a strict muslim environment where she lives. I wasn`t born there and only spent my holidays there to connect with family.
Her family loves her and her value is not less but in that country, her value as a woman is a bit decreased compared to a woman that never married.

Yes, we think that her family would accept us in some time and that both of our families share similar values and the same culture.

 

[FlirtLife]

Affairs are probably more common than people think. I'm reading a book about women having affairs, told in their own words. From that reading, the risk I see is that your secret affair may not survive the transition to non-secret relationship. Living an ordinary life together is very different from having an exciting, secret affair.

You mention flying to meet her in person in January, then again in April. So this is also a long-distance relationship, with you two not having a lot of chance to have sex. The relationship is more emotional... more of what she needs to build herself up, and leave her marriage.

There is a chance she doesn't settle on you after her marriage ends, and only discovers that once you two have an ordinary life together. I think you should avoid plans for marriage until you get to know each other in regular life.

 

[alvinkels]

Seems interesting if I was I would keep it that way. I had the same situation with a girls and when things got serious between us and I noticed her having flirt conversation with others she said she was not flirting. Then I remembered she and did the same thing to her ex, trust me the feelings was worst than a break up. Eventually I had to let her go I tasted my own poison. Just keep having and besides there are not young girls available why do you want settle with someone's ex wife. I get probably she is a good woman but as @FlirtLife said you are going to regret so just keep having and stop so tied to that p*** there are plenty of them on your block and town and cities. Look I am even thirty and the number of girls I have deflowered shocks me. There are lot of horny virgins out there stop hanging on low hunging fruits and work on your game and yourself and make sure you understand woman behaviors. Read "why women have sex" you won't take sex and something serious trust girls don't tend to value it that as we do. We are the ones that get hung over it. Try reading Rollo Tomassi collections