I met this girl and could do with an opinion

[Prodoge]

This is what happened :

(Saturday 23, April) Coincidentally, the same week i ended up on your page, I also met a girl in a night club after my birthday dinner with friends. At this point I had downed a couple of drinks and was not the quickest of thinkers anymore. I ended up dancing with her rather unintentionally and we exchanged a few words which made me discover that apparently she knew me. To be honest I had no idea who she was which made it a little awkward, so in the end nothing more happened that night except dancing a little.

The following day I figured out who she was and that she had seen me at some partys in the past but we never spoke to each other. I decided to add her on Facebook and chat her up. The same night we ended up chatting for a bit, nothing special. During that week we exchanged maybe 5-6 messages each on FB because of different working hours.

(Friday 29) On that Friday i went to a party in the town where my college is (1h drive), before we left I was chatting with her on FB but it was slowly time to leave so I suggested that she could give me her number to keep the conversation going. She suggested i should give her mine and she would text me later on. Well she didn't.

On the saturday, we basically continued the conversation where it had stopped. At some the plans for the evening came up and she said she was going to the same club we met the previous w-e. I jokingly asked her if she would take me with her to what she answered "go on then" ( well the translation). We discussed the logistics of the night via text, and in the end she went there with one of her friends and I went there with a couple of mine. We ended up together on the dancefloor, however her friend was there too and I felt kind of awkward making any attempts of getting closer (plus she was rarely making eye contact). At some point we were on our own and she seemed to open up a bit, but before i could make a move we were back in a group..

On Monday, 2nd May, I spontaneously planned a BBQ with friends at my house on Wednesday. I Tought I might as well ask her because it would be a good opportunity to get to know her better (since the only times we met were in a night club with loud music). I asked via text but she replied:
Her: "I would have loved to, but I have something planned. Thanks for asking, another time -kiss smiley-"
Me: "Well, it's a w-e of four days, I'm sure we can find another day to do something together" (Bank holiday w-e).
Unfortunately she had already made plans but also said "We'll probably see each other at -some party- on Friday".
Jokingly I asked: "How long in advance do I need to book you to get a day with you ?"
Her: "A few day, or a week"
Me: "Then write in your diary for next Friday (13th) that I'll be taking you to -Local City- for some drinks"
Her: "I can't on Friday, how is Saturday for you ?"
Me: "Since I usually plan things from one day to another, that's fine" (regarding going out with friends on w-e)

Friday 6th, in the evening it was certain that i wasn't going to be at this party so I let her know, we chatted a bit and in the end she asked me what i was doing the following day. I answered:
Me: "Not much, I've got to get up early on Sunday"
Her: "That's lame, I wanted to get you the drink I owe you"
Me: "Don't worry, You can get me one next Saturday"
Her: "Why next Saturday?"
Me: "Don't you remember, you wanted to take me to Spring break in Croatia"
Her: "Oh right"
Me: "Just kidding, we wanted to go for some drinks, well unless you changed your mind"
Her :"No no, it should be fine. I'm off to bed, good night, Kisses!" (this is a french thing, doesn't really translate; And in the end she didn't go to the party either)
Me:" Good night, Kisses. And this time leave my dreams alone!" (making reference to a previous conversation)
Her: " Have fun dreaming of me then! Kisses" -with a lips smiley-

Saturday 7th, first time she texted me first:
Her: "So what are your plans for tonight" (11:30pm)
We had a short exchange, nothing particular.

This is what happened, I left out most smileys.

Some more info: - Sometimes she seems to want the conversation to keep going (long replies, giving statements back), however on few days it didn't seem like she wanted to really text (short replies, the minimum necessary)

I would like to hear your opinion about this, and how i should proceed. I'm not quite sure what to think of this, after reading your articles i feel like I texted her to much without flirting enough..

Also, when should I ask her to confirm the date on Saturday? What would be the best kind of place to go to?

Thanks for reading, and telling me what you think about this

Ps: the conversation was initially in french so it may not be word for word exact.

 

[Tictac]

You going to ask her out or bore her to death?

She had to ask you out.

If you don't have a date with a time and place certain, you don't have a date. You have an idea.

 

[9asus2]

Yeah probably a bit too much talking but it doesn't seem to have done any damage so all good.

Pick a time/place in your head.
Something free/cheap with potential for physical contact - bowling/arcades/drinks followed by a walk
Set the time and date via text e.g. "We're going to X on Saturday, meet me there at 7:30"
She texts back "Ok great" or "I'm working til 7, can we make it 8:30"

"Great, see you then"

End of, until the date

 

[Yewki]

I decided to add her on Facebook and chat her up.

This is not a good look. Next time just get the number when you meet the girl. Adding her on FB and chatting her up suggests you don't have many other options and are too scared to go for what you want in person.

before we left I was chatting with her on FB

Still chatting on FB... you should have already gone for the number when you contacted her before

I suggested that she could give me her number to keep the conversation going. She suggested i should give her mine and she would text me later on. Well she didn't.

I don't know the full context, but seems to me you should have walked away at this point and let her come to you. Chasing a girl who disregards you is weak behavior, getting laid shouldn't be your highest priority

I felt kind of awkward making any attempts of getting closer (plus she was rarely making eye contact).

Kind of concerning that you're chasing a girl who isn't reciprocating

Me: "Since I usually plan things from one day to another, that's fine" (regarding going out with friends on w-e)

I think you're trying too hard in your texts, and your passive-aggressive type of response here shows you care too much about the outcome

Me: "Just kidding, we wanted to go for some drinks, well unless you changed your mind"
Her :"No no, it should be fine. I'm off to bed, good night, Kisses!" (this is a french thing, doesn't really translate; And in the end she didn't go to the party either)
Me:" Good night, Kisses. And this time leave my dreams alone!" (making reference to a previous conversation)
Her: " Have fun dreaming of me then! Kisses" -with a lips smiley-

You're try too hard. Have you even kissed this girl yet?

Some more info: - Sometimes she seems to want the conversation to keep going (long replies, giving statements back), however on few days it didn't seem like she wanted to really text (short replies, the minimum necessary0

I would like to hear your opinion about this, and how i should proceed. I'm not quite sure what to think of this, after reading your articles i feel like I texted her to much without flirting enough..

Also, when should I ask her to confirm the date on Saturday? What would be the best kind of place to go to?

I think she definitely likes the attention you give her, but whether she's sexually attracted to you is an entirely different story. I would guess probably not as you seem to have a lot of beta tendencies. I take it you're looking for some type of LTR, but you're establishing yourself as a weak provider to be taken advantage of. As for when to confirm the date, I would suggest waiting until about an hour before and if she hasn't already confirmed then send a quick reminder

 

[KingBeef]

IMO, all this chatting and texting should be happening on an ACTUAL DATE. You're GIVING YOUR ATTENTION AND TIME AWAY FOR FREE... All this "jibba jabba" and no date? Her mind is getting fed for free and you're getting nothing but the bill.

No more freebies....GET THE DATE, GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT...then maybe she will be worthy of some of your time.

 

[Prodoge]

[Update] Date is set up for Saturday, any tips ?
Should i just make sure she hasn't changed her mind like 1 hour before the actual time ?

PS: Thanks for everyone who tried to help

 

[Yewki]

All the bleeding hearts around here...

I wanna help, but I lose interest after the second huge paragraph.

Ugh.

Short and sweet next time.

I actually like reading these stories when they're coherent and relatively well written like this one.

Bonus points for chat logs /popcorn

 

[dustmuffin]

Just get to the point and ask for a date.....Here is an example that worked for me today.

Her: I'm going to get surgery on my foot in a few weeks

Me 12 hours later: That's good that you are getting that taken care of. You free Saturday?

Her about 30 mins later: I have to work until 9:30. Is that too late?

Me a few minutes latter: That is kind of late. Why dont you come to my house Sunday and we can grill and watch the basketball game.

Her almost immediately: I have to work from 1-5 Sunday. Is that ok?

Me 30 minutes later: Yes that's fine. Game starts at 7. Arrive at 6 30 and bring hamburger buns. My address is....xxxx
Her a few minutes later: You are so bossy!

Done deal and not much texting. Ask for what you want. Be direct....Tell her what is going to happen