I mean seriously,how do you do this and make it work for you???

[CapedCrusader08]

I am really at a clueless low point when it comes to all of this,all this time,all this wasted time,and I have nothing to show for it. I mean,I feel so lonely and empty,I feel trapped in this whole,I don't do anything to fix it,I realize what it's been,it's been wanting this right here right now,and not taking the time. But instead of taking the time,I went all whoa is me on myself. Do you know how awkward and soul crushing it is when you hear the rpg playing dorkwad kid,no offense,going on about banging his gf,even if she is a special needs mental case,or the girl you know and kinda like is there with here bf going on and on about how much she loves him. It's my own fault,I don't/haven't pursued,I don't take action,I feel paralyzed by this shyness/anxiety,I don't want to get freindzoned and don't risk rejection. The ball is not in my court. What can I do? This has been ongoing since forever,like I missed out on a big chunk of life,esp educationally. People tell me I am intelligent,but I feel there are these gaps in my education. Like I have only a small percentage of it filled. Or have I just been out of things socially for so long,these simple things seem harder than normal. My routine is work,school,home. time in between is usually spent meddling about,not so much looking to find a lifelong mate,is there some sort of skill I am missing? Did I not pick up on something?

 

[dbot]

I'm sure you've heard this before but you really need to do it:

Fake it until you make it.

I know everyone says that's easier said than done, and they don't know what they're talking about. I've been doing this my entire life with fantastic results. It's not hard at all. You're just pretending... for now.

Back when I first joined this forum I completely sucked with women. What did I do? I walked around and PRETENDED to be the type of guy that gets all the ladies. Guess what? I started getting laid, and before I knew it, I became that guy.

A couple years ago I applied for a job I was completely unqualified for. I completely BSed my way through the interview process and got hired. So what did I do? I just faked it, and acted like I knew what I was doing until I actually knew what I was doing.

So you're lacking some confidence and social skills right now. No biggie, right? Just Fake it. Go somewhere where nobody knows you and pretend you're someone else. Pretend you're the cool dude that makes friends with everyone else. Be that social guy that jumps into random groups or talks to anyone and everyone he passes by.

It may be a little scary at first, but once you get the hang of it, you'll get addicted to it. The quickest way to improve yourself and become the person you want to be is to Fake it until you make it. Try it out.

 

[Jaggs]

^ I don't think this advise will help.

CC You need serious help.

I don't know if yer a troll or what, but every topic you create is EXACTLY the same.

Stop wasting our time with your pathetic little excuse-after-excuse topics on why things don't work for you. If you really want to change then DO IT. GET SOME FREAKIN HELP. Go get some proper help from someone who can clear your mental health issues.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

I see what you mean by fake it till you make it,I mean,idk,maybe it feels like lying to me,which shouldn't be a problem cause I have lied plenty of times before. What bothers me the most are these long periods of time of this continuous state where everything feels like it's wrong,I'm wrong,something is wrong,etc. I mean,I could just never bring myself,mentally,to project that. Idk,this thing is stronger than I thought I guess. Perhaps I am scared of judgement and reaction due to my own inexperience,which is what I think is holding me back for asking other people for help in this.

I mean,fake it till you make it,is that what all the guys do? I know I need proper help,but I mean,when I found this site,it changed me,and how I see things. But yet,I still feel stuck in this. I don't know,maybe it's backwards thinking. Or,it could be looking at too much porn or a possible addiction.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Ya know,I am not going to post on here until I really have something better to say.

 

[Igetit!]

Ya know,I am not going to post on here until I really have something better to say.

I have a better idea. Why not just stop posting on here until you've ACTUALLY used the info and done some of the things suggested to you?
Then,once you've actually done some of these things,(whether they worked or not),come back here and let us know what kind of results you've gotten.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

All right. I'm gonna do it,I'm going to use the information on here,some of my own experiences,and some of the info from the pua show.

 

[Voice]

Yo man if you seriously have social anxiety, you should get help for it. I know putting yourself out there can be an extremely difficult thing to do when you have overwhelming anxiety. Anxiety runs in my family and I know it sucks I have it too. Some people don't realize how debilitating it can be when you're too paranoid to even talk to people. I've definitely come a long way with advice from pook and sosuave and built up my confidence. When I'm feeling confident, I feel like I can attract any girl and make anyone laugh. However I still have days like you where I get overwhelming anxiety. There are times when it makes me awkward and self-conscious, it's a horrible feeling. I still have a hard time being in groups of people. I know man, it feels like you just can't be yourself.

With a combination of self-improvement, advice from pook fingers and sosuave, and anti-anxiety medication, I've gotten much better. Yes I said anti-anxiety medication. I take klonopin for the anxiety and it helps tremendously.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

yeah. it has been rather difficult,not only from it itsself,but from this feeling that I should have fixed it sooner. I feel that way about alot of my problems. I mean, I can interact and talk with people,at work or school,but still feel on the outside looking in. I mean,reading alot of stuff on here has made me think twice about alot of things and re-examine myself,and alot of the time, I don't like what I see. It could be a defense against something,like not getting walked on or easily used,yet I want acceptance. So there is a double edged sword. I know I have trust issues. For many reasons as well. I want to be the strong willed personality,which I am,but it comes off the wrong way sometimes as well. Problem is though,at work,I have to take orders from higher ups,so I feel I have to remind myself I am not a doormat. I feel I need to be extra careful when it comes to stuff like that.

As for "being mysel",I don't who that is. I am worried I have some sort of identity crisis. I am also angry at the constant superficiality of the world. I will look into meds.

 

[Tenzen]

dude no meds please... meds will not fix any personality problem, its all in your head. First thing is yes your lacking education. All of us are or we wouldn't be on this forum. Last time i checked they don't teach men how to attract females in school. So you got nothing to worry about, if you read things on here, read the bible, and really focus on it you will succeed. You need to take everything on here subconsciously. Re-program your mind set, it takes time, take all your doubts and throw them away they never existed! You created them to prevent you from being successful with women. It all takes time man, just relax, and listen to what others tell you on here.

Just 2 days ago my gf broke up with me through a text msg... what did i do last night? went to a bar with my buddy, and what happen? Opportunity happened. I'm really trying to take at least a 1 week break but hell i sarged a girl 9 years older then me. Did i get digits? no.. she had a boyfriend. she felt it would be unfaithful to give me her number. So what? has it affected me? no! she could of just refused to talk to me if she wanted. You can't win everyday at life, just keep going, and TRY!!! for once! A million people can hate someone, but it'll take over a billion for someone to really worry about it. So why again r u so worried about your self image?

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Well,what about mild anti depressants? Or how do I get out of my head so much? Seriously,I like space out alot of the time. And I get these worrie/anxiety attacks.

Well,as for attracting females,why is it some do it better than others? They're just better looking? I am talking about the guy who has been getting girls since he was a kid,got laid left and right all the time in h.s and college,has girls come up to him and say he's fukkkable,and yet I sit there alone only observing all of this. It's my own fault in some ways too,or maybe it is just the way the world is. OR maybe I am just boring.

See,the time thing,that's what I can't get over. This feeling of so much time gone by,that I am so far behind of where I should be,and it keeps repeating itsself every day. I mean,ever since I found this site,it has stuck with me,but has also made me feel,idk,inadequate in some ways as well. I mean,this all started at an early age,around 16,so it has been a long term problem,and here I am now,at 23,and still feel the same.

Well,I really have no one to go to the bar with,which is part of the problem. Plus I gave up drinking ever since I got arrested a few months back. So,that doesn't really seem like an option. I never saw myself as the club/bar type of guy. I could go on and on as for why,but not right now. I never was able to sarge/hit on girls. I don't know why. I am also concerned about how much porn may have affected me as well. I also feel I would take rejection too personally,but I realize it is cause I invested too much emotionally into it. It's not all about getting laid,I realize that,but that's all I can think about. I mean,I am a little socially hesitant,like I have to wait for people to talk to me. I don't know why. Self image? I don't know. It has something to do with how I see myself I guess.

 

[mfd1830]

When I was your age I was almost as bad. Now I'm a year older and I'm the opposite. Why? Because I started thinking in the long term and took it one step at a time. You just have to stop thinking and make the first step. It'll be really, really hard at first but it gets easier and with patience, everything will fall into place. Nobody has a more active, self-destructive brain than I do but if I could do it, anybody can.

Also, you make excuses for everything. I go to bars sober and by myself all the time. Just buy a beer, carry it around and talk to people. The only girls that want drunk guys to hit on them are already so wasted that the most AFC guy in the world could take them home.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Well,I have been this way for a long time,so it is hard to break out of it. I keep thinking and not doing,so naturally,it messes with my head. I mean, no matter what I try and do,it keeps coming back to something like I should have done it sooner,or I am so far behind every one else,or I am not up to par,or something else like that. I mean, I feel I should have done this like around 17,18,gotten up and gotten out and done something about it. I feel people in most bars are often very superficial about things. I also told myself I would never drink again.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

I am really at a clueless low point when it comes to all of this,all this time,all this wasted time,and I have nothing to show for it. I mean,I feel so lonely and empty,I feel trapped in this whole,I don't do anything to fix it,I realize what it's been,it's been wanting this right here right now,and not taking the time. But instead of taking the time,I went all whoa is me on myself. Do you know how awkward and soul crushing it is when you hear the rpg playing dorkwad kid,no offense,going on about banging his gf,even if she is a special needs mental case,or the girl you know and kinda like is there with here bf going on and on about how much she loves him. It's my own fault,I don't/haven't pursued,I don't take action,I feel paralyzed by this shyness/anxiety,I don't want to get freindzoned and don't risk rejection. The ball is not in my court. What can I do? This has been ongoing since forever,like I missed out on a big chunk of life,esp educationally. People tell me I am intelligent,but I feel there are these gaps in my education. Like I have only a small percentage of it filled. Or have I just been out of things socially for so long,these simple things seem harder than normal. My routine is work,school,home. time in between is usually spent meddling about,not so much looking to find a lifelong mate,is there some sort of skill I am missing? Did I not pick up on something?

Try maybe clicking the link in my sig. I've had many of my friends from college read the stuff I write and they say it has helped.

I write about what works and what doesn't work for me. Everyone is different, but everything you read there is entirely true. It's not a page of bragging or anything, not every story has a happy ending.

 

[dante25]

I think you need to work on your internal game first. I believe in fake it until you make it only to a certain extent, you will not even be able to fake it until you get yourself to another place mentally first.

Go out and search out some Power of positive thinking materials and take some time to figure out what hobbies and activities you enjoy, don't worry about women until later. If you focus on this, you will then be able to follow the advice of the guys on this forum and see results.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

"Don't worry about women" Yeah. Easier said than done. Why do you think I have some of the problems I do? That's just it,I have no real hobbies or activities,I never really took the time to get into them,I always saw them,as I don't know,stupid or something. Maybe,I just need to find people like me.