"I love you" came very very early...and it wasn't from me.

[pvf94]

What do you do in this situation?


I recently was introduced to this girl 3 weeks ago max by a friend of mine....he said me and her would get along.

After the initial meeting with her and my buddy @ a coffee shop we went out on a couple dates.

We both mesh very well and get along incredibly. She claims that it feels like we have known each other for a long time and she doesn't understand why she is so comfortable with me. She repeats "it feels like I've known you forever".

We don't have any incredible amount of commonalities, we just get along. She asked me to become exclusive after a week and a half of knowing her. And hanging with her a few times. I thought about it over some sleep and accepted. She basically told me everything I wanted to hear as far as sex and relationship business goes.

I of course kissed her the 3rd time we met. We made out the following night....and 2 days later we ended up in her room making out again. Fast forward to the next day and it got to the point were I could have fvcked her if I pushed further. (She admitted to this later on in the evening) Instead I stopped and let things cool down. She told me later that night via text "I think I'm falling for you, and I'm afraid that if we have sex I am going to get attached to you." I told her not to worry about it, and that I'm not just in it to get laid because I have a genuine interest in her.

long story short, she's down to fvck very soon.

But today after she dropped me off on her way to work..... I gave her a hug and a kiss and told her to have fun. The second she let go she said "I love you". I did a double take and laughed she realized what she said and immediately said "I didn't mean that" And proceeded to blush. and scurry off embarrassed.

What the hell do you do in this situation? Lmao, I know I don't love her....if anything I'm infatuated.

Remember its only been 3 weeks of me knowing her. Personally it doesn't bother me, if she feels that sort of connection with me to where she had a slip....that's fine. I just am unsure of how I should react? It's almost as if she said it out of habit do to a past relationship or something.



Input???

 

[bukowski_merit]

I've had women tell me that in about the same time period (never before i fvcked them though! that's just nuts!). It wasn't an accident!!!! I think if you had said it back to her - that would have been that....

You reacted fine to it.

Now... Just fvck her! PERIOD! and don't be surprised if she says it again if you really give it to her.

Doesn't sound like she could be FB material though - so it's relationship or nothing (or no relationship with a lot of drama from her.)...

 

[f283000]

Like Joe Pesci says, WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM?

You got this girl hooked on you to the point she is telling you she loves you and you come here and ask for advice? advice to do what? to f**** up the great attraction she has for you?

If it ain't broke don't fix it. Keep doing what you're doing and enjoy it.

 

[pvf94]

to the above posters, I don't really have a problem with it I said this. It made me smile and I felt good after she said it. I do plan on fvcking her very soon, we have agreed to it verbally. She was on the rag the first time we madeout with heavy petting. The second time it happened I told her "I respect you, and didn't want you to think I'm in it just to get laid." And that was the 100% truth. I already know I'm going to fvck her.

I don't want her as a fvck buddy either, I want it to last. She is ltr material.

I'm 3 years older then her as well....not an issue though.

I came here for input because I wanted to see if you guys see this as her being a whack job or absolutely gaga over me. I needed another point of view. I mean 3 weeks of knowing her and that slips out?

I am very content with her, and that almost spooked me when she said it. Mainly because I'm not in it to just to bang her. And figured you guys would offer excellent input.

Which you did btw. Thank you.

 

[pvf94]

Anybody else with a take on this?

 

[Iceberg]

Well I'm pretty terrified of this girl, honestly.

I'm sure you're a great guy and all, but "I love you" after 3 weeks of knowing each other withOUT sex? Every girl that I dated that tried to push this hard, this early...always results in some dramatic crap.

And I'm not being pessimistic, I'm just telling you from my perspective from similar situations: Do you think that you've done such a great job with this chick that she's deeply in love with you? Seems like this is probably the same thing she's said to other guys she's dated.

Like everyone else said, bang her if you want to. It's available. But if I had 2 or 3 other options, I'd back off this girl a bit. That "I love you" stuff after 3 weeks of knowing each other? That's just childish. If a girl gets this over-the-top and dramatic about you after 3 weeks...just imagine what she'll be like when your relationship has sex involved. I'm seeing lots of hand-holding and pet names in your immediate future.

There's a reason that "normal" girls try to hold off on throwing around the "L" word too soon in a relationship. Because it chases guys like us away.

 

[catman]

The woman that i have had that said i love you in a short amount of time also seem to fall out of love just as fast? Same for the ones the ones that want to be exclusive after you have flucked them? I think alot of these women really dont know what they want or what love is for that matter? The bpd ones are the ones who say these things the quickest and i dont ever want to go back there

 

[lakeshore]

Well I'm pretty terrified of this girl, honestly.

I'm sure you're a great guy and all, but "I love you" after 3 weeks of knowing each other withOUT sex? Every girl that I dated that tried to push this hard, this early...always results in some dramatic crap.

And I'm not being pessimistic, I'm just telling you from my perspective from similar situations: Do you think that you've done such a great job with this chick that she's deeply in love with you? Seems like this is probably the same thing she's said to other guys she's dated.

Like everyone else said, bang her if you want to. It's available. But if I had 2 or 3 other options, I'd back off this girl a bit. That "I love you" stuff after 3 weeks of knowing each other? That's just childish. If a girl gets this over-the-top and dramatic about you after 3 weeks...just imagine what she'll be like when your relationship has sex involved. I'm seeing lots of hand-holding and pet names in your immediate future.

+1 totally what i was thinking.

Could be wrong but the drama goes the other way also with these types. The faster they say 'i love you' expect the sh*t to hit the fan soon. Don't bring her around your friends, thats all I'm saying..:nono:

 

[thecurtainfalls]

As everyone else has said, it's a warning sign. It means she doesn't understand her emotions and is emotionally immature. It doesn't mean she's a bad person or not worth dating longer, but definitely keep this in mind.

 

[Alle_Gory]

There's no problem here. This would be a problem if combined with other red flags. By itself its not an issue. Maybe she just really likes you and she blurted that out. Maybe she wants to see how you feel about her... etc.

Don't judge too quuickly. Patience. If there's something else wrong you might miss it worrying about this.

 

[slaog]

Judge her on her actions not what she says. You'll know if she loves you or if shes LTR material by her actions over a long period of time. Until then be cautious.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Your spider sense should be going off!! This is going way too fast, imagine what´s gonna happen after sex!! Watch out as she may be idealizing you, putting you on a pedestal. Just be on guard and don´t fall for her, at least for the first 2 months. Observe her behavior. Check around if she´s been doing this to other guys. IF you fall for her now you will overlook many possible red flags, and will be hard to be objective about her later on. Your suspicion is right!

Is She Playing You?

Player's have specific TELLS. “Tells” are the involuntary reactions in one's body language, that reveal falseness. These visual markers are vital to professional gamblers. No matter how hard humans try to cover their true emotions, the truth will always be revealed in one way or another.

While player's have visual tells, the clearest form of tells are behavioral.

1. They come on strong.

Players move in fast and hard--- always focused on the finish line. They are intent upon seeing you now, calling with abnormal frequency, and showering you with seductive attention. A real guy knows what he wants, but is willing to allow you to come to him. He sees the end goal, but allows you the time and space to get there on your own.

2. There is a sense of urgency.

The entire pace of courtship proceeds at a breakneck pace. Players live in the now. They want to see you now, or in two hours. Definitely tonight. You know you've encountered a player when “it all just happens so fast.” A real guy is honest in wanting to see you, but lacks that frenzied sense of pinning you down.

3. The light is so bright you feel delirious.

A player knows how to woo. He shines the light of unwavering attention upon you, his prey. The warmth is intoxicating. Flooded with compliments (usually sexual), approval and desirability, the player demands a return of attention. A real guy puts it out there, but doesn't force your response.

4. A player says all the right things.

A player has rehearsed and honed his lines. He has mastered the art of saying the phrases every woman secretly wants to hear. And while this romantic dialogue is marvelous, it's too soon to be real and too studied to be original.

5. His/Her advance takes you by surprise.

He/she disarms your caution and leaves you feeling dizzily confused. Intense, focused and attentive he bathes your ego in ecstasy. You never saw it coming. A real guy has a growing momentum. He is consistent, rather than on fire.

So, next time you're swept up in momentum, urgency and delirious attention, know your admirer is a player. These are hallmark behavioral tells. If you can handle the heat of seduction, and the brevity of involvement--- go for it.

*Many predators drug you with praise and flattery—at first. Beware of statements like “No one’s ever made me feel this way before. I’ve never met anyone like you. I could really fall in love with you. No one has ever understood me like you. I’ve never felt this strong of a connection before.” Be especially skeptical of these statements if they’re made in the first few weeks or hours of dating. This is a con artist’s technique called, mirroring—”using flattering statements to lift a listener’s confidence in himself.”

Reality: It takes time to really get to know someone and build trust. “Instant intimacy” is typically a sign that someone’s stroking your ego into submission and/or that they neither possess nor respect personal boundaries. It’s natural to want a love interest to notice how special and unique you are, however, this doesn’t happen overnight. Pace your new relationships and remember, the higher the pedestal she places you upon early in the relationship, the further you’ll crash down when she kicks it out from underneath you later. Once these women “catch you,” they almost immediately begin to devalue you.

Just to think about.

Source>
1. http://www.susanwinter.net/Dating_and_Relationships.html
2. My Signature down.

 

[nightcrawler]

What do you do in this situation?


I recently was introduced to this girl 3 weeks ago max by a friend of mine....he said me and her would get along.

After the initial meeting with her and my buddy @ a coffee shop we went out on a couple dates.

We both mesh very well and get along incredibly. She claims that it feels like we have known each other for a long time and she doesn't understand why she is so comfortable with me. She repeats "it feels like I've known you forever".

We don't have any incredible amount of commonalities, we just get along. She asked me to become exclusive after a week and a half of knowing her. And hanging with her a few times. I thought about it over some sleep and accepted. She basically told me everything I wanted to hear as far as sex and relationship business goes.

I of course kissed her the 3rd time we met. We made out the following night....and 2 days later we ended up in her room making out again. Fast forward to the next day and it got to the point were I could have fvcked her if I pushed further. (She admitted to this later on in the evening) Instead I stopped and let things cool down. She told me later that night via text "I think I'm falling for you, and I'm afraid that if we have sex I am going to get attached to you." I told her not to worry about it, and that I'm not just in it to get laid because I have a genuine interest in her.

long story short, she's down to fvck very soon.

But today after she dropped me off on her way to work..... I gave her a hug and a kiss and told her to have fun. The second she let go she said "I love you". I did a double take and laughed she realized what she said and immediately said "I didn't mean that" And proceeded to blush. and scurry off embarrassed.

What the hell do you do in this situation? Lmao, I know I don't love her....if anything I'm infatuated.

Remember its only been 3 weeks of me knowing her. Personally it doesn't bother me, if she feels that sort of connection with me to where she had a slip....that's fine. I just am unsure of how I should react? It's almost as if she said it out of habit do to a past relationship or something.



Input???

lol you're getting shyt tested time and time again and don't even know it.

 

[sodbuster]

I'd be a little cautious about this. The ONLY women I've ever had come on this strong had serious issues. Jump her bones and enjoy the ride. Just don't let the "blood flow down below" cause you to miss serious red flags that may be lurking deep in her mind

 

[pvf94]

I am definitely keeping my eyes peeled for other red flags. So far she seems pretty genuine and even stressed after she got off of work that the "I love you" was a slip and she doesn't want to scare me off by moving so fast. She said she just really likes me and blurted it out without thinking. I didn't bring the subject up I was just going to let it be. She felt the need to explain herself further without me questioning it.

As for the poster that posted the "5 player giveaway's" This is almost textbook if you pair how this is going to what that little guide said.

If she is playing me shes doing an incredible job pulling the wool over my eyes. For now I'm going to let it continue, and guard my heart until its been months of consistency from her.

 

[boomerick]

pvf94

You moving too fast is one thing (usually ok), her moving too fast --- huge red flag.

Re-read Blue Phoenix's post and check out his prior threads. He references good articles about girls who are too fast. BEWARE!

Over and Out

 

[Iceberg]

I am definitely keeping my eyes peeled for other red flags. So far she seems pretty genuine and even stressed after she got off of work that the "I love you" was a slip and she doesn't want to scare me off by moving so fast. She said she just really likes me and blurted it out without thinking. I didn't bring the subject up I was just going to let it be. She felt the need to explain herself further without me questioning it.

As for the poster that posted the "5 player giveaway's" This is almost textbook if you pair how this is going to what that little guide said.

If she is playing me shes doing an incredible job pulling the wool over my eyes. For now I'm going to let it continue, and guard my heart until its been months of consistency from her.

Hey, you know this girl better than me, so go with what you know.

I'm just gonna say that the girls I've dated who tried moving this fast were ALL nuts. They'd say something like "I love you" way too early, and then they'd apologize for moving so fast...etc, etc. It's just not normal. It's not something that a cool chick with a level-headed personality would say. "Ah we've dated for 3 weeks....i love you." Not normal. Any chick who'd say something like this, whether she apologizes or not, her brain isn't wired properly.

And some guys might brush it off, like "It's okay, she just got caught up in the moment." I say, caught up in WHAT moment? This relationship hasn't even become sexual yet. Nah, buddy. If you're past the age of elementary school, and you're throwing around the "love" word 3 weeks into dating...I mean...come on. "I love you" isn't something you just blurt out.

Telling by this part of your original post...

We made out the following night....and 2 days later we ended up in her room making out again. Fast forward to the next day and it got to the point were I could have fvcked her if I pushed further.

...I get the impression that you spent 3+ days with her within the same week? I don't like dishing out these 10 commandments-style rules for dating, but that's way too much quality time with a chick you barely know.

Good luck with everything, bro. I really hope things work out for you. But if I'm allowed to be honest with you, I don't like the tone that this relationship is getting off to.

 

[Commandante]

Input???

I don´t see any problem here. Until she loves you more than you love her everything is fine, ´cause you have more power in the "relationship".

Only one advice: Don´t hide your sexuality! It´s an AFC technik and doesn´t work on the long term. And girls like to be pushed a little bit over their limit.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

"The I Love U Tales"

I met Jackie. After going out a few more times, I noticed she was starting to say some things that were kind of strange like "I´m glad that you´re part of my life" and "We were meant to be together". I kinda freaked. Mind you We had only know one another for a month at this point. After we had our first sexual encounter I remeber her saying "I love you", "I´ve been waiting for you my whole life". When I didn´t tell her the same she got angry with me. I asked her to cool it down and she got angry and called me a player, like her ex BF.

*This girl went to the extreme, charging full force into the relationship and immediately falling in love with her fantasy of a guy without getting to know him first. She set herself up for great pain by prematurely pouring her heart and soul and expecting him to do the same. When he did not return her love, she began to exert control. While his attraction to her was physical, hers was emotional. If the attachment is instantaneous, paradise may actually be nothing more than an illusion.

Source: Story from the book> Confusing Love with Obsession - John Moore

 

[Ease]

People are spot on, she will turn out to be a big attention ***** drama queen.

Iv had an experience with a girl like this. It comes down crashing as badly as it builds up. The girl always turns out to be crazy.

Have fun and lots of sex while it lasts though, and dump her first.