"I like where we are"--interpretation?

[Glassguy]

Value = something that you had to work hard for and you could lose and watch it become valuable to someone else if you are not careful.

You cant have value if you are putting yourself on a silver platter. You have to make them work for your time and attention. If not they will start devaluing it.

Not to mention that it sounds like the cvm is still drying on the sheets from her previous bf. Why in the fvck would someone want to be in a relationship knowing that she just came out of a LTR and knowing that you are a fwb rebound? Just enjoy fvcking her and let her chase.

 

[rart]

Too much mind fvckery and game playing these days. It’s like you have to decode what women say because what they say always has some hidden meaning that you have to figure out.

Never interpret what a woman says, only what she DOES. Her rescheduling is the message. The message being that she has more important things than you.

Now knowing that, you make her less a priority in your life

 

[lamath]

Value = something that you had to work hard for and you could lose and watch it become valuable to someone else if you are not careful.

You cant have value if you are putting yourself on a silver platter. You have to make them work for your time and attention. If not they will start devaluing it.

Its was about this


Time to use the take away?
.

So, what I wanted to happen, happened. She hit me up last night...

Her: I would love to make you dinner sometime this week =)
Me: I'd love that. How about Thursday?
Her: Sounds good! Any requests?
Me: Surprise me. Chef's special
Her: =) Mkay

I was pretty excited about this, because it was proof in my mind that she IS thinking about me and cares enough to make a move. Then I wake up to a text from her...

Her: Can we do Sunday instead actually
Me: Yeah that's cool
Her: Thanks =)

I tried to play it as cool as possible. She DID reciprocate, which is good, but this seemed weird to me. She hits me up saying she wants to make me dinner, which screams high interest, we schedule a date, then within 12 hours reschedules the date to three days later.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Never interpret what a woman says, only what she DOES. Her rescheduling is the message. The message being that she has more important things than you.

Now knowing that, you make her less a priority in your life

This.

 

[Korrupt]

So much overanalyzing in this topic. OP's only real mistake is being so invested that he made this topic. He's obviously not having fun with this, and if it's not fun and is giving him nothing but anxiety then it's not worth pursuing. I feel for OP in this situation, because I've been a victim of bad timing as well and it's, honestly, the fvcking worst. But this girl has done you a favor by forcing detachment because now you can pursue other women and take your mind off her, then come Sunday get a free dinner and sex from her.

Sh!t maybe if you guys get lucky over the weekend you can swap the cvm and pvssy juice from your previous dates and have a good ol time Just kidding. But seriously, if you think she's giving you sloppy seconds, then give her sloppy thirds right back.

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

She texted me last night to say she's looking forward to seeing me on Sunday. And to sext--telling me but she wants to tease me and etc. Honestly I can't tell if she's playing a really good game, or none at all at this point.

 

[Lookatu]

She texted me last night to say she's looking forward to seeing me on Sunday. And to sext--telling me but she wants to tease me and etc. Honestly I can't tell if she's playing a really good game, or none at all at this point.

Who cares? Just enjoy your turn and make every encounter count. It's really that simple.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What game do you think she could possibly be playing? She wants to date you casually. She told you that directly.

It's amazing how guys screw things up for themselves

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

She hit me up again today on snapchat making a joking/teasing comment about one of my snap story pics, which led to some small talk where I eventually asked her what she was up to today (because today is the day she rescheduled to sunday). She told me she had just gotten back from a bike ride at a some nearby park with her friend Megan--that was around 7pm. We exchange a couple more messages, one where she asks me a question about my meal prep, I respond around 8, then she goes dark till about 10:30. She responds and I say I'm surprised she's still up, then she says "I can't sleep idk what's wrong!" I just ended it after that saying I was heading to bed and goodnight. I could be totally off-base here, but for some reason this is all just so damn sketchy to me. I mean she rescheduled our dinner from today to sunday, then says she was hanging with this Megan girl who she's never mentioned before, and now she's up crazy late (for her schedule) saying she "can't sleep".

And if her plans were with this girl Megan, why not mention that as the reason for rescheduling. "Hey can we do Sunday instead? My friend Megan wants to hangout and can only do Thursday." Boom. Perfect.

On another note, I had a second hangout tonight with a girl I slept with ~a month ago. I definitely helped keep my mind off the above BS for a little while.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She hit me up again today on snapchat making a joking/teasing comment about one of my snap story pics, which led to some small talk where I eventually asked her what she was up to today (because today is the day she rescheduled to sunday). She told me she had just gotten back from a bike ride at a some nearby park with her friend Megan--that was around 7pm. We exchange a couple more messages, one where she asks me a question about my meal prep, I respond around 8, then she goes dark till about 10:30. She responds and I say I'm surprised she's still up, then she says "I can't sleep idk what's wrong!" I just ended it after that saying I was heading to bed and goodnight. I could be totally off-base here, but for some reason this is all just so damn sketchy to me. I mean she rescheduled our dinner from today to sunday, then says she was hanging with this Megan girl who she's never mentioned before, and now she's up crazy late (for her schedule) saying she "can't sleep".

And if her plans were with this girl Megan, why not mention that as the reason for rescheduling. "Hey can we do Sunday instead? My friend Megan wants to hangout and can only do Thursday." Boom. Perfect.

On another note, I had a second hangout tonight with a girl I slept with ~a month ago. I definitely helped keep my mind off the above BS for a little while.

Bro...who cares? This isn't your girlfriend. If you can't handle this type of basic interaction with a plate then stop seeing her. You are having your hamster wheel spun round and round by some girl that isn't anything more than a plate to you.

 

[rart]

Bro...who cares? This isn't your girlfriend. If you can't handle this type of basic interaction with a plate then stop seeing her. You are having your hamster wheel spun round and round by some girl that isn't anything more than a plate to you.

It's other way around. He is her plate.

 

[bcude]

Speaking of former mod, why did Amante Silvestre leave and had all of his posts removed? I get that he was ready to leave SoSuave behind but not why his posts had to go, still valuable information for others to read. @Atom Smasher @billtx49 @logicallefty ?

 

[Korrupt]

She is dating multiple people at the same time. That is what women do. That is particularly what women do that try to make sure not to enter a committed relationship with someone who basically asks them for one the way you did. She IS dating other guys. Whether her Megan story is real or not does not matter at all.

It's other way around. He is her plate.

This is essentially a summation of why this forum is utter garbage and dudes should stay away from it. You're guessing and over-analyzing just as much as OP is, and on top of that you're also immediately jumping to the absolute worst conclusions. OP also didn't "basically ask her" for a committed relationship. Just LOL at the reading comprehension of posters here. You might wanna go back and actually read his posts. I swear some of you just come into topics, not even read anything, and say "she's banging other guys." It's almost always the same thing with posters here. This forum should be renamed "Worst Case Scenario", because that is ALWAYS what this forum jumps to. "One Track Minds" would be another good name. And LOL at the woman being the one who's supposed to always initiate the DTR talk. That's a fear/scared mindset--you're worried about what the woman will say/think when you ask. That's called being a p*ssy, and it's hilarious it's universally taught on here. In almost every real life scenario I've heard of it's the dude who does it, because men lead. Wait... Isn't that taught on this forum too?

Why are none of the positives ever looked at? They've been seeing each other for 6 weeks, multiple times a week, f*cking without a condom, this week she hits him up a day after hanging out to say she wants to make him dinner, then hits him up like another day later saying she's looking forward to seeing him and to sext, then hits him up again the next day to say something about his snap story. A chick who's not interested wouldn't do this sh*t.

And the truth is, aside from hypersluts, most women have trouble focusing on more than one guy at a time. Especially as much as OP said they've been seeing each other.

OP, you and this girl are not committed. If you can't handle the situation and it's driving you crazy then break it off. If you want to continue, then you need to stop analyzing everything she says and does. You need to keep doing what you're been doing, because it's worked for 6 weeks. And continue seeing other women.

And most importantly, take all "advice" in this topic with a grain of salt. Even mine. Literally everything said by almost every poster has been wrong so far.

@AwlaysFukedUp I was in a similar situation to you where I was hyper aware of texting patterns and things like that with a non-exclusive girl and this is the advice I got from a former mod here:

"
I know exactly what you mean because I'm basically in the same exact situation: Non-exclusive and no interest from either of us to make it exclusive, she has a high sex drive and we have great sex, but we only see each other once or twice a month, etc.

There were a few changes I made to make it easier to deal with those thoughts that would sometimes creep into my head.

First, this woman was texting me non-stop daily. Good morning, good night.... sometimes she would even text me in the middle of the night when she knew I was asleep and wouldn't respond, just to get thoughts out of her head. Because of this non-stop texting, I ALWAYS knew when she was out having drinks and so forth. I never did and still do not have any issue with her being out and about without me, but I didn't want to be constantly reminded about it either, so I had to start limiting our contact just so I wouldn't have constant updates on her whereabouts. We still keep touch daily, but by ramping it way down I didn't have those constant reminders that would sometimes get my hamster spinning.

Another change I made was increasing the "booty call" opportunities with her. Because of my schedule, her schedule, me being a single father, etc. there is only one or two nights a month when we are both free at the same time and can actually go out, spend the night together and so on. However, there were many more opportunities for us to hook up for brief periods here and there, even if only for an hour or two in many cases. This really helped us break up the long waits between sex that we were dealing with.

On top of that, on the nights she is free and I'm not, she will often stop by my place late at night on her way home from whatever she's doing. This has turned into a routine where she would go out with her friends, end up getting a good buzz on from all of the drinks guys were buying for her and she would just end up in my bed for the romp at the end of it all, then go home."

Suppressing the gut feeling/Taking the purple pill

Based on too many experiences with eyes wide open and too much research and observation, my gut and analysis of women I date has gone way too far. I'd like to suppress the gut instinct and enjoy life a little more, not feel like I'm constantly being played. I want to stop noticing all the little...

www.sosuave.net

That is not even close to the situation in this topic. That dude was seeing the girl 1-2 times a month lmao. If you have feels when you're only seeing someone 1-2 times a month. and it's just a hookup and not even any kind of dating, that's sad as f*ck. How is it even possible to give a sh*t about someone you're only seeing once or twice a month?

 

[Korrupt]

Unreal to be this naive and inexperienced and think you can judge advice here. You don't even know enough to know that you don't know.

Your "advice" has been wrong at every gd turn. You idiots said she was going to dump or friendzone him or some dumb sh*t after the "I like where we are" conversation they had, and he saw her several more times after that, AND she said she wants to make him dinner and has been hitting him up. Lmao

She told him she wants to keep dating him casually...dude you are so inexperienced that you have never even been in OPs situation. I have, many times. If she is dumping that much time into it but doesn't want to be exclusive it means she is using him as a placeholder/rebound. How the fvck do you not know that?

Have you read anything in here? This chick is just out of a LTR. No sh*t she doesn't want to commit to anyone yet. And I have been in this situation. It's sh*tty. Which is why I've been telling OP to see other women so that he has something to fall back on in case this goes south.

I'm 100% sure she's talking to other dudes, because she probably wants as much attention as possible from the opposite sex after getting out of her previous relationship, but dating/f*cking with as much as her and OP have been seeing each other and as much as she's been hitting him up? Doubtful. Possible, but doubtful.

 

[Korrupt]

I never said that lol. You are still in the "omg he got laid more" childlike mentality. We are concerned with his emotional state and his need to reframe.

No.

She is at least planning on meeting them. That is obvious, and likely she did so on Thursday but regardless it doesn't matter. He is getting attached way more than she is and he needs to pull back. Somehow this was bad advice to you...?

Is your advice to stick around until "she is ready?"

My advice is to stop over-analyzing and jumping to the absolute worst conclusion(s), because all that does is f*ck up your emotional state even more. From an outside perspective, he has no reason not to take her at her word at this point. If he sees condoms in her trash, jizz on her sheets, sexts from other dudes on her phone/computer, or other "evidence" like that, then yeah... She's with other dudes. But at this point he shouldn't even be thinking about all this bs. It's useless. All he should be doing is looking forward to their date and talking to and seeing other women in the meantime. Having feelings for someone, especially in a situation like this, is rough, and having all these negative thoughts in your mind doesn't help.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Speaking of former mod, why did Amante Silvestre leave and had all of his posts removed? I get that he was ready to leave SoSuave behind but not why his posts had to go, still valuable information for others to read. @Atom Smasher @billtx49 @logicallefty ?

He did that for private reasons.

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Update. And you guys are gonna hate me LOL.

She hit me up an hour ago on snap saying "hey I'm actually free tonight if you wanna hang. If not I'll see you sunday =)"

So the period theory is out. It's obvious she had other plans for tonight (and probably tomorrow) and they fell through. That's why she went directly to Sunday from Thursday. If they were with a friend of hers I'm not that bothered. I understand putting friends first. But if it was a date/some dude who she put "ahead" of me that would be a different story.

So I hungout with a different girl last night, but the date I had setup tonight ghosted and I couldn't set up anything else, so I told her I'd be down to hangout after work tonight. I know, I should've probably told her I was busy and I'd see her sunday.

I'm honestly tempted to walk in and jokingly say "that was spontaneous! Tinder date cancel?" just to see her response.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Update. And you guys are gonna hate me LOL.

She hit me up an hour ago on snap saying "hey I'm actually free tonight if you wanna hang. If not I'll see you sunday =)"

So the period theory is out. It's obvious she had other plans for tonight (and probably tomorrow) and they fell through. That's why she went directly to Sunday from Thursday. If they were with a friend of hers I'm not that bothered. I understand putting friends first. But if it was a date/some dude who she put "ahead" of me that would be a different story.

So I hungout with a different girl last night, but the date I had setup tonight ghosted and I couldn't set up anything else, so I told her I'd be down to hangout after work tonight. I know, I should've probably told her I was busy and I'd see her sunday.

I'm honestly tempted to walk in and jokingly say "that was spontaneous! Tinder date cancel?" just to see her response.

Damn...

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Last night was fine and she was all over me like usual. Not acting weird or anything. Said she had been busy as hell with work. Also told me more about her friend Megan when I asked. I'm not a mind reader so I can't say what's true and what's not. Her story didn't seem sketchy but I didn't want to delve in too deep and seem like a jealous boyfriend interrogating her.

She texted me today with a new number saying she had to change it. I asked her why and she said a dude wouldn't leave her alone. I jokingly said "oh man.. bad tinder date?" And she responded "tinder date from hell." Ha. This essentially confirmed what I thought from the very beginning--she's talking to and seeing other guys. That's why she SPECIFICALLY said she wasn't sleeping with anyone, because she was talking to/seeing people but (probably) hadn't had sex with anyone else yet. I told her it sounded like a good story for a glass or three of wine, so when I go over tomorrow (barring a flake) I'm going to ask her to tell me the story, then light-heartedly veer the conversation towards her other tinder dates and how many she's been on since being single. Like "damn that's a crazy story! When was that? Any others that bad? No? Well that's good. So you've been on quite a few since you've been single?" Honestly I feel like this situation is training me to extract information from people via conversation in indirect ways. Maybe I'll change my career and become a detective after all this sh!t.

It actually kinda... Put my mind slightly more at ease. Instead of constantly wondering and being anxious about it I know that her mindset is "single and ready to mingle". And I also won't feel guilt anymore for remaking my tinder profile and actively pursuing other women.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You are on the fast track to being her girlfriend. Do you really want to sit there and have her regale you with stories of her adventures with other men? Instant friend-zone.