Hey there, young'n! Welcome to the forum!
Okay, so here's some insights into your approach, and how you can improve it:
Naughty Fins said:
Asked her out once, said "I'm busy, what about next week?"
Anytime a girl says this, it's called a "counter-offer," which means she has some kind of interest in seeing you. However, if you have nothing specific to counter-offer with, you're not going to get the date. When asking a girl out, you should always shoot to set up everything in that meeting.
So, in this case, when she said "what about next week," your response could have been something like "Sure, I'm free next week on Tuesday or Thursday (always give option of 2 days), which works best for you?" If you're not sure about your schedule, say "sure, let me check my schedule and I'll get back to ya!" Then you wait 2 days, call her up (don't text) with a specific activity in mind and say "Hey, I'm trying to go to (activity) on (day 1) or (day 2). If you're available on either day I'd love for you to tag along." She'll say one of 3 things: Yes (awesome!); I'm busy on those days but how about x-day instead (counter-offer - still awesome); or Oh gee, I can't, I'm really busy that day (rejection of date, no counter-offer - it's a no).
Naughty Fins said:
Today is the day before "next week". I texted her "Let's meet up around 12:30 at MC." She replied "Aww, I really waaaant to go
, but I've got something to do with my brother :3. Soorry
."
No last-minute date invites EVER. One, it's not being respectful of her time or the other things she may have to do. Two, when she says "no" to you, it's going to make you feel like she's rejecting you or doesn't like you, when in reality it could just be that you didn't give her time to place you in her schedule.
And three - and perhaps the most important - is that, if a girl likes you, she needs time to get ready to impress you. Don't think for a second that women prepare as fast as guys - they don't just hop in the shower, spray some nice scent on, choose an outfit and then go out. Noooo - a girl that wants to impress you is going to do things like:
- Buy a new outfit from the store
- Spend a couple of days hyping herself up for the date by talking to her friends
- Going through all the perfumes she has, hating them, and going to the store to try a new scent
- Get her hair done. And yes, it will always take hours
- Try on 17,000 outfits to find the right one (despite the fact that you wouldn't be able to tell)
- Possibly go to a tanning salon
- Try a barrage of makeup choices on to get a "natural" look
- And much, much more
Can you see now why your last minute invite gets a "no?" She needs a couple of days to really prepare for the date so she'll feel she has the best chance of impressing you. At minimum, you should be setting up dates 2 days in advance to give a girl time to do this stuff - otherwise, you're shooting yourself in the foot and not getting the date.
Those are my insights into your situation. As for your details:
Naughty Fins said:
1.) We do a lot of kino whenever we hang out.
Always a good sign! Just make sure she's doing more kino than you - it should be a 3 to 1 ratio (i.e. for every 3 touches she gives you, you give her one). This will always make it seem, psychologically to her, that SHE's the one that's having to work to keep YOUR attention.
Naughty Fins said:
2.) I flirt with other girls, just in case.
Nothing wrong with that - until you two become boyfriend/girlfriend, you can do whatever you want (and so can she). I've also found that, should the girl confront you about it, it's her signal that she wants something serious. Rather than react all apologetic, you simply come back with "Oh, I didn't know it was something that was bothering you, especially since you never said you wanted me to be your boyfriend. Is that what you're saying to me now?" Classic...
Naughty Fins said:
3.) I do flirt with others, but I prefer her. Out of all the thousands of women I've met, she's the perfect one.
It's great that you think so highly of her, but do NOT, under any circumstances, put this girl, or any other girls, on the "perfect" pedestal. There's tons of threads here about why that is, but suffice to say, you always want to keep a realistic vision of the person you're dating. Meaning: she's great, she's probably going to annoy you at some point, she's not always going to look 100%, but it's simply because she's human. She, too, takes a crap every morning.
Naughty Fins said:
4.) She broke up with her ex 2 months ago. I broke up with my ex 4 months ago. Okay, this doesn't really sound relevant :V
You're right - it's not relevant.
That's all I got - if you need more help, check out my podcasts at the link in my signature. Hope this helps!
