nicksavoy
Don Juan
There's only one thing worse than being rejected. And that's getting rejected over and over because you repeat the same mistakes.
Someone once said, "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." According to that, most guys at bars and coffee shops are insane. Young or old, black or white, it's the same mistakes all over the world.
What's most shocking is that most of these are really easy to fix - if you know what to do.
Now, before you read on, ask yourself - are you prepared to solve this problem TODAY? If not, put this email aside. It's just going to be more facts in your head. If you ARE willing to make changes today (really think about this), and ONLY if you are, read on. I'm about to share the first secret:
You told her to reject you.
(I warned you. I told you this might be painful.)
A woman will decide if you have a chance to sleep with her or date her WITHIN THE FIRST 90 SECONDS OF MEETING YOU. 90 seconds is obviously not long enough to get to know you. So she's going to rely on an expert opinion. Someone who knows you really well. Someone who can tell her right away if you're on her level or not.
That person is you.
That's right - she's going to look for what you're "telling" her about yourself to see if you're worth it.
Quick example - a man goes to a party, walks around for a few minutes, looks at a pretty girl a few times, and then finally works up the courage to approach her. He looks and sounds a bit nervous. He says, "I know you don't know me, but hi, I'm Tom."
I don't know anything about Tom or the girl he likes. I don't have to. I know that he JUST TOLD HER TO REJECT HIM. He wouldn't be nervous or awkward approaching an ugly girl. He knows that he "belongs" on her level. But he just showed the pretty girl (and her friends) that he doesn't "belong."
Sometimes she'll reject him right there. Sometimes she'll talk to him for 20 minutes. Have you ever had one of those frustrating conversations with a woman where things just don't seem to "click" and you don't know why? I hate to say it, but that conversation was probably doomed from the start. She'd already written you off as a sex or love interest.
So what are we supposed to do?
There's no point saying "be confident". That's like telling you to "be natural" or "have natural game". It sounds great, but it doesn't help. Being confident (or natural) is the end result. It doesn't help you get there.
Instead, we get down to basics, Love Systems-style. We break down every aspect of what some men do - those men who women DO feel are on their level.
So I can't tell you to be confident, but I can tell you exactly how to APPEAR confident. Start the basics, like:
* Don't wander around the club/bar/party alone
* Be the center of attention, don't look for the center of attention
* Make eye contact
* Keep your head up, look straight ahead
* Make slow, controlled movements
* Use low, controlled speech
* Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart
* Keep your hands by your sides (not in pockets, not waving around)
* Smile
Man up. Speak up.
The way I explain it is this: There is no opening line (or opener) in the world that will get you the girl. But a bad opener can DEFINITELY lose you the girl.
Because your opener comes within 90 seconds of her meeting you, she probably hasn't made up her mind about you yet. So don't mess it up. Let's start with the basics again:
First, keep it short. The first thing you say should be a few seconds at most. If your opener is long, put a short introduction on it. (E.g., "I need you to settle a bet.") But whatever you do, don't start with something like "I'm sorry to bother you, but" - that's telling her that you're not on her level.
Address her AND her friends (whoever she is with). Remember the ugly girl example. If you were going to talk to the ugly girl, would you wait around the bathroom in hopes of catching her alone or separating her from her friends? Heck no. You'd walk right up to her and her ugly friends and say what you wanted to say.
DO NOT do what other guys who aren't on her level do. They usually say something boring like "the music here sure is loud". That tells her that you're a loser. She KNOWS you did not walk across the bar to some random person to say, gee, the music is loud. You could have said that to your friend.
All it tells her is that you're interested in her, but you didn't have the balls to be direct about it and you don't have the creativity to at least be interesting if you're going to be indirect.
Pick a couple of good openers and MEMORIZE them. You should never wonder "what do I say?" or say something boring.
Conclusion
Being on (or above) her level goes throughout the pickup, not just the first 90 seconds. Being too eager for her phone number, not being enough of a challenge, sending the wrong sorts of text messages, even the wrong kind of date can all subtly tell a woman that you think she's a bit "out of your league."
I'll try to write more about this soon. In the meantime, look for examples of this - both in your own behavior and when you see other men meet women. How do they subtly show whether they are "at her level" or "below her level"? Train your mind to see these crucial elements of Love Systems, and your success with women will skyrocket.
Take care,
Nick Savoy
_________________
Love Systems President, Program Leader
My blog: The Real Savoy
Twitter: @LS_Savoy
My Book: Magic Bullets
Someone once said, "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." According to that, most guys at bars and coffee shops are insane. Young or old, black or white, it's the same mistakes all over the world.
What's most shocking is that most of these are really easy to fix - if you know what to do.
Now, before you read on, ask yourself - are you prepared to solve this problem TODAY? If not, put this email aside. It's just going to be more facts in your head. If you ARE willing to make changes today (really think about this), and ONLY if you are, read on. I'm about to share the first secret:
You told her to reject you.
(I warned you. I told you this might be painful.)
A woman will decide if you have a chance to sleep with her or date her WITHIN THE FIRST 90 SECONDS OF MEETING YOU. 90 seconds is obviously not long enough to get to know you. So she's going to rely on an expert opinion. Someone who knows you really well. Someone who can tell her right away if you're on her level or not.
That person is you.
That's right - she's going to look for what you're "telling" her about yourself to see if you're worth it.
Quick example - a man goes to a party, walks around for a few minutes, looks at a pretty girl a few times, and then finally works up the courage to approach her. He looks and sounds a bit nervous. He says, "I know you don't know me, but hi, I'm Tom."
I don't know anything about Tom or the girl he likes. I don't have to. I know that he JUST TOLD HER TO REJECT HIM. He wouldn't be nervous or awkward approaching an ugly girl. He knows that he "belongs" on her level. But he just showed the pretty girl (and her friends) that he doesn't "belong."
Sometimes she'll reject him right there. Sometimes she'll talk to him for 20 minutes. Have you ever had one of those frustrating conversations with a woman where things just don't seem to "click" and you don't know why? I hate to say it, but that conversation was probably doomed from the start. She'd already written you off as a sex or love interest.
So what are we supposed to do?
There's no point saying "be confident". That's like telling you to "be natural" or "have natural game". It sounds great, but it doesn't help. Being confident (or natural) is the end result. It doesn't help you get there.
Instead, we get down to basics, Love Systems-style. We break down every aspect of what some men do - those men who women DO feel are on their level.
So I can't tell you to be confident, but I can tell you exactly how to APPEAR confident. Start the basics, like:
* Don't wander around the club/bar/party alone
* Be the center of attention, don't look for the center of attention
* Make eye contact
* Keep your head up, look straight ahead
* Make slow, controlled movements
* Use low, controlled speech
* Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart
* Keep your hands by your sides (not in pockets, not waving around)
* Smile
Man up. Speak up.
The way I explain it is this: There is no opening line (or opener) in the world that will get you the girl. But a bad opener can DEFINITELY lose you the girl.
Because your opener comes within 90 seconds of her meeting you, she probably hasn't made up her mind about you yet. So don't mess it up. Let's start with the basics again:
First, keep it short. The first thing you say should be a few seconds at most. If your opener is long, put a short introduction on it. (E.g., "I need you to settle a bet.") But whatever you do, don't start with something like "I'm sorry to bother you, but" - that's telling her that you're not on her level.
Address her AND her friends (whoever she is with). Remember the ugly girl example. If you were going to talk to the ugly girl, would you wait around the bathroom in hopes of catching her alone or separating her from her friends? Heck no. You'd walk right up to her and her ugly friends and say what you wanted to say.
DO NOT do what other guys who aren't on her level do. They usually say something boring like "the music here sure is loud". That tells her that you're a loser. She KNOWS you did not walk across the bar to some random person to say, gee, the music is loud. You could have said that to your friend.
All it tells her is that you're interested in her, but you didn't have the balls to be direct about it and you don't have the creativity to at least be interesting if you're going to be indirect.
Pick a couple of good openers and MEMORIZE them. You should never wonder "what do I say?" or say something boring.
Conclusion
Being on (or above) her level goes throughout the pickup, not just the first 90 seconds. Being too eager for her phone number, not being enough of a challenge, sending the wrong sorts of text messages, even the wrong kind of date can all subtly tell a woman that you think she's a bit "out of your league."
I'll try to write more about this soon. In the meantime, look for examples of this - both in your own behavior and when you see other men meet women. How do they subtly show whether they are "at her level" or "below her level"? Train your mind to see these crucial elements of Love Systems, and your success with women will skyrocket.
Take care,
Nick Savoy
_________________
Love Systems President, Program Leader
My blog: The Real Savoy
Twitter: @LS_Savoy
My Book: Magic Bullets
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