I know, it's terrible: I think she's THE ONE

[handle]

Let me make a couple of things clear:
- I am quite familiar with sosuave
- I do not believe in "soulmate" bs.
- I want to approach this as realistically as possible, but let's face it: I do believe this is the right girl.

Little background on the situation:
So I dated this girl for about 2 months and I kept it EXTREMELY casual. I'd pay for getting popsicles during walks and stuff, and we'd go to parties together, chill with friends, but mostly just walk around and chill. We're both busy people and it's the end of our last school year, so I figure whatever, we need to get our stuff together, this relationship doesn't need to be major. If I feel like making our meetings more date-like later in the summer then I will.
And at prom (and a few meetings before that) she gets distant and detached. Which bugs me. At an afterparty at prom we go walk alone together and she says all she can think about is how I'm moving away for university and so the relationship can't go anywhere. I tell her to think about what she wants (because she's being all indeciscive) while I'm gone, and I go on this 2 week trip right after.
She comes back, we chill once and it's a bit awkward, then the second time I say to her that I've decided I'd be willing to try long-distance and to just see how far this thing can go. She takes forever to tell me the real reason why it has to end: she doesn't like me anymore the same way as before. So I leave and that's that.

Unfortunately I ended up going to her house last night and telling her I can't stand being broken up and I need to be sure that she doesn't like me (because everyone around me and myself included know that she can be confusing as **** from time to time. So I'm not sure this is really why she ended it). So I got told, for real, that she just doesn't feel the same and etc etc etc.

So here's where I'm looking for advice:
I know the technique for if I really really want to try to get her back. I have to back off and wait and keep living my life.
But here's the deal guys: I have a month till I'm gone. And I'm going to be away for a week of that. I've already screwed up by showing up at her place.

So what I need to know is: how do I accelerate this as best as possible? What's the most viable way of getting her back in a month? I know I have to do the typical "friendzone" routine, but I need a way of streamlining it and I need a gameplan.

The only plan I have so far if just that I'll need about 2 weeks away from her minimum. Then I go on a trip the week after. Basically, all her dormant feelings (if they are there) need to explode out of her in the last week.

I know the chances of getting this to work are slim but I want to try it. Give me all your tricks, all your advice, all your criticisms and all your experiences that will help.

And hey, if not, I'm headed to the biggest party school in Canada, so I'm sure I'll manage to "recover" quick

Thanks for any helps guys,
cheers

 

[Frosted]

Please repeat this in your head until you realize how stupid it sounds to everyone else. "I've been casually dating a girl for 2 months and I think she must be THE one, the most compatible girl for me I will ever find".

I tried to make things work with my highschool sweetheart when I moved off to college, trust me, it will fall apart and it's not worth it.

 

[Max Power]

At an afterparty at prom we go walk alone together and she says all she can think about is how I'm moving away for university and so the relationship can't go anywhere.

She comes back, we chill once and it's a bit awkward, then the second time I say to her that I've decided I'd be willing to try long-distance and to just see how far this thing can go.

This is unusual. Women tend to like LDRs because they get the security of having you hanging around for them and once they meet someone else they can say, "I need my space" or "This isn't going to work."

She takes forever to tell me the real reason why it has to end: she doesn't like me anymore the same way as before.

Unfortunately I ended up going to her house last night and telling her I can't stand being broken up and I need to be sure that she doesn't like me (because everyone around me and myself included know that she can be confusing as **** from time to time. So I'm not sure this is really why she ended it). So I got told, for real, that she just doesn't feel the same and etc etc etc.

Wow, you could have replaced Regis on Millionaire cause you seem to like asking "Final answer?"

You wouldn't have had to go back and ask again had you read this article below

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/confusing.htm

Turns out women aren't that confusing.

In all seriousness, I'm sorry about your situation.

I'm not going to give you the advice you want to hear (actually I don't know if you can pull it off in such a short time frame), unless she is as "confusing" as you say she is (but why would you want to deal with that?)

I can tell you that this woman is doing you a big favour by keeping you out of a long distance relationship.

Have fun at Carleton? Bishops? ????

You'll forget about this girl after two days of Frosh Week.

 

[handle]

This is unusual. Women tend to like LDRs because they get the security of having you hanging around for them and once they meet someone else they can say, "I need my space" or "This isn't going to work."







Wow, you could have replaced Regis on Millionaire cause you seem to like asking "Final answer?"

You wouldn't have had to go back and ask again had you read this article below

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/confusing.htm

Turns out women aren't that confusing.

In all seriousness, I'm sorry about your situation.

I'm not going to give you the advice you want to hear (actually I don't know if you can pull it off in such a short time frame), unless she is as "confusing" as you say she is (but why would you want to deal with that?)

I can tell you that this woman is doing you a big favour by keeping you out of a long distance relationship.

Have fun at Carleton? Bishops? ????

You'll forget about this girl after two days of Frosh Week.

I'm a stubborn guy and I like to believe I can tweak the system every now and then. You're right, I will forget all about her midway through frosh week if whatever I do doesn't work. But every once and a while I ignore doing things by the book and it's served me well up to this point. So why the hell not try this? I'm going to follow what I know but tweak it a bit and see where it takes me. If it turns out the wrong way then I'll be down about it for a matter of days.
Think of this more as seeing what can be done. I have a gut instinct about this, why not try it? Live and learn.

And by all means rip my argument to shreds.

 

[Max Power]

I'm a stubborn guy and I like to believe I can tweak the system every now and then. You're right, I will forget all about her midway through frosh week if whatever I do doesn't work. But every once and a while I ignore doing things by the book and it's served me well up to this point. So why the hell not try this? I'm going to follow what I know but tweak it a bit and see where it takes me. If it turns out the wrong way then I'll be down about it for a matter of days.
Think of this more as seeing what can be done. I have a gut instinct about this, why not try it? Live and learn.

And by all means rip my argument to shreds.

At least you got a good attitude about this.

 

[handle]

At least you got a good attitude about this.

So all things considered, any advice? And not broad emotional stuff, I mean specifics if you have any that come to mind from your experiences. Either way I'll try something and I'll learn something from it.

 

[NickBe]

You want some advice?

Grow a pair and stop chasing after this girl. Prom? you are a f*cking child and you think she is THE ONE. In one years time she will be a distant memory. This is really pathetic you have a good 50 years ahead of you and you think that this girl is who you want to spend the rest of your life with?

You do not even know her, what makes her 'the one'? because she smiled at you? because you held her hand? because she told you she loved you? Have you ever even slept with her?

You said you want to approach this realistically so do so. Life isn't some Hollywood movie, you are not going to run up to her house a few hours before you leave screaming out her name. She is not going to run out jump on you and hug you saying some stupid sh*t like 'I will always love you Billy'.

Long distance relationships do not work as soon as you are out of town she will be bending over for some other guy. The only release you will get is when you masturbate over her voice on the phone. That reality for you, do you like it?

Here is some more reality, she does not like you anymore. Even if she was lieing the first time now that you went to her house and near begged to be taken back she thinks you are pathetic. You will not be able to win her back in a year let alone four weeks. There is some more reality for you...

 

[eko]

I'm in literally the same exact situation as you. I fell for this girl hard... I mean really badly. We had a good time going out and dating and stuff, except she's staying here and I'm leaving for college in a month. she said she was scared of the whole college thing and that I was going to find some 'hot blonde business major" and leave her in the dust. I thought everything was going to work out, but it turns out that 'she doesn't feel the same way about me' anymore. It's like literally ONE morning she just flipped a switch. The night before she was more into me than ever. The next day she told me that she felt nothing.

She's gone for 25 days, then gets back, and shortly thereafter I leave for college.

I want her back, but I realize that if I can't have her then I'll be alright in college. But, like I said, I really fell for this girl. Sorry, I don't have any advice to give to you. Best thing I can do is talk to her about it. I'm not gonna come off as some needy sob. I'm not gonna make her give me a yes or no... I'm just gonna be honest... not as in pour my heart out, but realistically honest. no tips or tricks or anything. I know the attraction is there for both of us, she wants it to and tried hard to get it. if it doesn't get me anywhere, than oh well.

 

[Max Power]

she said she was scared of the whole college thing and that I was going to find some 'hot blonde business major" and leave her in the dust.

Dare to live the American dream.

 

[Bonhomme]

Dead Man Walking

Spin some plates, bro.

 

[Kev07]

If for no other reason, you're going to screw over your college experience/social life/meeting MUCH BETTER QUALITY WOMEN with a LDR

 

[Nighthawk]

Your only chance is to start dating someone hotter than her.

But really this one's dead and buried and you need to move on.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Long distance relationships do not work as soon as you are out of town she will be bending over for some other guy. The only release you will get is when you masturbate over her voice on the phone. That reality for you, do you like it?

Here is some more reality, she does not like you anymore. Even if she was lieing the first time now that you went to her house and near begged to be taken back she thinks you are pathetic. You will not be able to win her back in a year let alone four weeks. There is some more reality for you...

Nothing more true has been written in this thread. While you're chatting away like her best girlfriend on the phone she's stroking some guys c0ck whimpering about how much she misses you. It's all about her validating her self worth and convincing herself she "still has it". If she had any inkling of being with you, she would be with you.

"The One" only belongs in Matrix films, not real life.

 

[Nighthawk]

All of NickBe's advice so far has been spot-on. I'm developing a man-crush on him.