I just want to know...

[CapedCrusader08]

Do you,any of you, know how it feels to be very/truly alone/lonely? That constant eating away at you feeling that you will do all to stop?

 

[PrettyBoyA]

Definitely, I think that's why alot of us found the community. Haven't felt that way in about 3 years though and probably never will feel that again.

Why do you feel that way?

 

[skEwb]

You're born alone and you die alone. Just spice it up in between and have some fun. Don't think about it so much, go do something else more fun.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Yes, I felt like that in early high school. My princable was very christian and helped guide me the right path.

Your not the only one who feels that way. Surround yourself with good people, be thankfull for what you got and do things you enjoy.

 

[Kerpal]

Yes.

I had a lot of personal and family problems when I was younger, and then at age 13 developed gynecomastia. I was tired of being excluded, made fun of and picked on, and I decided to just shut myself off from everyone. Lived that way for years, and now I have a hard time interacting and opening up to people. But I'm way better than I was when I first found this site.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Why do I feel this way? Well, I could go into a whole essay about why, but I won't. I have felt this way along time. I don't know if it's from trauma, something bad, I mean really bad, that happened to me last year, or even before that, just this sense of all encompasing alienation and isolation that started in high school.

I mean yesterday, I had the day off from work, I had drunk school early in the morning, I got into an accident earlier this summer, so yeah, and the whole day was spent just roaming the city, and it was just me. I was out from like 8 am to 11 at night. The whole time I felt so empty and isolated and yet I am surrounded by people, so obviously this has caused,mm,I want to say hesitations, with dating,the game,however you want to put it. I don't know if it's in my head or if it is a real problem.

I mean, as I get older,I will be 24 this coming year, I keep feeling further and further behind in life while all the younger,or seemingly younger types seem so far ahead of me. I don't know if this pressure or just feeling left out.

 

[SuavePlaya]

Need to calm your ego Caped because it's not helping you at all. I suggest you just pay attention to your thoughts without judging any of it doesn't matter if it's good or bad. What you need to realize you are not your thoughts. When you look at these younger kids trust me none of them are going through life the way you think they are they have struggles also.

 

[Dstructor]

I mean, as I get older,I will be 24 this coming year, I keep feeling further and further behind in life while all the younger,or seemingly younger types seem so far ahead of me. I don't know if this pressure or just feeling left out.

Ah...that's what's up...

Lots of things i've experienced resonate with this one.
First thing the boy vs. man dilemma we all face.

We are all raised to be me, take responsibility, take care of the important stuff, let go of all that childish dreams and passions; gotta grow up, stand attention and stiffen up that upper lip !

I'm not making fun, it is important to be disciplined; it's like the boarders and defense of a country; you gotta invest in building a boarder and putting big guns so that bad **** doesn't hurt you...
That's what being a MAN is, to me

A lot of people, including me, gave up that BOY side of them; that innocent, energetic, passionate & curious drive in them that wanted to turn every stone to see what's underneath it. The ones that wanted to be firemen, policemen and superheros

I felt what you describe here a long time ago when i would pull up next to a car with a cute baby or a kid in the back. I would look at them and feel like they have something so beautiful that i feel...guilty for having it or scared to show it and live it. And every time they would smile and wave good bye....i could feel like my heart is trying to beat again...but no

I realized that every "Grown up" decision i've made to protect myself or due to experience - most of them - were out of fear; rejection (mostly), punishment, getting something i want,...etc

The thing was that whenever i did something i got punished for, never mind the mechanism, but i would try to choke it out of me. Every random and spontaneous, passion-driven action i've ever done and angered someone or hurt me...i felt guilty for having that passion in the first place. Little by little i came to believe that Passion is wrong (or atleast showing it)

The result? : kept building a big wall around me (growing up) and killing what's inside (the child) till it became a wasteland

My solution (and what i'm doing): is first get in touch with yourself; see yourself from the inside as mind, body & soul. Notice your emotions and thoughts and how you react towards them. Try to face your fears and find your passions in life and ask yourself : "How do you feel about being the kid you used to be ?"


Another thing i wanted to say was there's a difference between feeling something bad and closing down to that bad feelings; first is being hurt the second is fear of being hurt
When you are afraid you're almost re-living the bad experience and you're doing what you think you should've done to prevent it. Most of the time that means closing down and totally diverting your attention from how you feel...

That actually hurts more than the hurt itself (" i got a paper cut in my finger so i cut it off")

When it all comes down to it, man. This emptiness is where passion is but i assume you're scared or guilty (blame it for what happened) about it that every time you try to tap into it or just pay little attention to it you run away from the memory and yourself.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Do you,any of you, know how it feels to be very/truly alone/lonely? That constant eating away at you feeling that you will do all to stop?

I don't feel lonely, but I have a fear of being alone.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Fear of being alone,well,I already am alone, so maybe I shouldn't be so afraid.

I was thinking earlier, bad habit, not taking the action, and that's just it. I have spent all this time moping and feeling miserable, that I have forgotten how to have fun, all this time where I should have been out,in the field,bars,whatever, and instead, I was moping about.

My life is nowhere near where I hoped it would be. And as I get older, my inexperience and embarrasment about it,seemingly grows. I gotta start getting mys hit together. I never went through a young,party phase really. Well I did, just w/o the girls and all that. I still haven't gotten this game thing down packed. And I am trying to make sense of alot of things. It seems you either got it or you don't, and that's what's tripping me up.



The event that I described wasn't exactly like: "The thing was that whenever i did something i got punished for, never mind the mechanism, but i would try to choke it out of me. Every random and spontaneous, passion-driven action i've ever done and angered someone or hurt me...i felt guilty for having that passion in the first place. Little by little i came to believe that Passion is wrong (or atleast showing it)"

this was an extreme act in which it is good no one got hurt or worse.

I also realize I have placed self worth or whatever in the wrong things, that being said, I still feel empty and unacomplished in life.

 

[SharinganUser]

This year, I broke my hand, had my camera stolen twice and broken once, then I put on 50lbs, went to two funnerals because three of my friends died.

Do you want to trade????

 

[DonJuan11]

Fear of being alone,well,I already am alone, so maybe I shouldn't be so afraid.

I was thinking earlier, bad habit, not taking the action, and that's just it. I have spent all this time moping and feeling miserable, that I have forgotten how to have fun, all this time where I should have been out,in the field,bars,whatever, and instead, I was moping about.

My life is nowhere near where I hoped it would be. And as I get older, my inexperience and embarrasment about it,seemingly grows. I gotta start getting mys hit together. I never went through a young,party phase really. Well I did, just w/o the girls and all that. I still haven't gotten this game thing down packed. And I am trying to make sense of alot of things. It seems you either got it or you don't, and that's what's tripping me up.



The event that I described wasn't exactly like: "The thing was that whenever i did something i got punished for, never mind the mechanism, but i would try to choke it out of me. Every random and spontaneous, passion-driven action i've ever done and angered someone or hurt me...i felt guilty for having that passion in the first place. Little by little i came to believe that Passion is wrong (or atleast showing it)"




this was an extreme act in which it is good no one got hurt or worse.

I also realize I have placed self worth or whatever in the wrong things, that being said, I still feel empty and unacomplished in life.

Why don't you join the army? That will help you.

If you say "no", that means you are aware of your problem but don't want to get better because you want people to pity you.

 

[playerone]

i was quite an introvert when i was younger, 13-15 yrs old. didn't even dare to talk to girls i took an interest to. i was just failing with every girl i liked. didn't feel good.

 

[DJVladdy]

sorry about your friends sharinganuser - what happened, weren't they young?

 

[DJVladdy]

sorry about your friends sharinganuser - what happened, weren't they young?

 

[Dannyrt34]

Looks like alot of us have been there before, caped. I was there 3 years ago. There's only one difference between you and all of us though. We all made commitments to improve, and stuck with it. Some are in that process right now.

Not you though, maybe that's a hint for you to make that commitment.

 

[SharinganUser]

Thanks DJVladdy. They were 19, 14 and 54. Way to young to die.

Basically what I am trying to tell people is that dating and women are nothing to get depressed about. Live your life, and enjoy it. If you see something you want, then just go for it, even if you fail just move on and try again.

No one is going to show up to your funneral and say "It's a shame, he could've got more poon."

 

[Dannyrt34]

Thanks DJVladdy. They were 19, 14 and 54. Way to young to die.

Basically what I am trying to tell people is that dating and women are nothing to get depressed about. Live your life, and enjoy it. If you see something you want, then just go for it, even if you fail just move on and try again.

No one is going to show up to your funneral and say "It's a shame, he could've got more poon."

You and their families have my deepest sympathy and greatest respect. Sometimes we all have to take a moment and really think about where were at in our lives. If you would die tomorrow, do you feel like you have accomplished what you would like, and be the person you want to be? If not, I suggest you get on that immediately.

Although seemingly unrelated, this thinking gets me doing approaches and such. I feel like I should never hold myself back from anything, because for all I know, I could be holding myself back from meeting special people in my life. I wouldn't like to miss out on that, especially if I were to die tomorrow.

 

[loving]

You Still Haven't Listened To Eckhart Tolle!!

 

[Dstructor]

You Still Haven't Listened To Eckhart Tolle!!

God i hate it when i get responses like these...

LoL nothing personal, it's just that a while ago every time i asked this guy i know something or on one of the forum "ZOMFG GET TEH BLUEPRINT DECODED doooood !!" (which in now way no hell i'm gonna watch it)

So please, humor my bad experiences and issues with material and tell us what lesson of eckhart tolle fits here and how it does