I Have Plateued

[YoungBull]

Brief background - been gaming for 3-4 years now. Have done 250 daygame + party approaches at least, 12 closes (4 in one month recently).

The problem is I'm still not getting the chicks I want. Not talking the top of the top but just decent looking, fit girls. The girls that I have closed were ok, but my hit rate is really low (past 30 daygame approaches, couldnt close them).

I self-diagnosed that my problem previously was probably too much self-amusement. I read 60YOC and am going for a less talkative, more eye-contact, non-touching escalation style now.

The problem is that I can't strike the balance between being masculine, controlled and getting girls to start qualifying themselves to me. The really attractive girls I meet, if I just go up with a "hi", who are you, small talk, they immediately make an excuse to leave. My vibe is good and I know I'm quite a sociable and interesting as the convo goes on but with the really attractive girls that I'm into they immediately disqualify and don't give me a chance. Or, alternatively I'll do playful cold reads and they get offended ("you look like a typical raver girl").


The second problem is I haven't found a good texting strategy. I usually go for sparse meetup texts or phone calls, but it feels like I'm losing leads just based off phone game alone too. (Yes, when I can, I go for SNL and have pulled off a few)

Just wanting some guidance on how to improve...


Also, ideally I'd like to get a long term GF or social circle going. I feel like my general people skills and relationship skills are lacking even though I can strike up a small talk conversation with anyone ...

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Social circle is important as fvck for a Don Juan, and not only to get more girls. It will improve your daily happiness, it will give you more experiences, you will travel more, business opportunities might arise if you show you are interested in those, and...you might have too many women attracted.
It is a slow process, but it is rewarding as fvck. You should start by getting some male friends, use your gym, use your class/job, and use some social activity you do (language exchange, martial arts, whatever you do). Now, if you do this, you will have 3 different social groups. DON'T MIX THEM!. You want DIFFERENT social circles so you have more options!
The next step is to develop deep relationships with the alpha guys in those groups (if there are not alphas, then you become the one), you want to become another one. Over a couple of months, don't be too aggressive on gaming girls on the social circles, or the guys might get defensive. You have to wait until you truly are part of the gang, so you are not taking their girls from them, but you are only doing what is natural.
Then it is all about maintenance, keep on cultivating your relationship with the top guys, whilst being friendly with everyone else.

About the gaming part, you can get more serious relationships on the social circle, BUT it can be dangerous if things go bad, so maybe it is better to game in the peripheries of it. I personally only do that, I don't want to risk breaking some close girl heart. The problem is, if you are high value enough, they will start to chase you, which can be difficult to ignore.

As for your daygame vibe, I think the problem MIGHT be (and I'm just guessing) lacking some masculine activities. Do you do some manual labour, do you do some martial art, do you go to the gym? These things tend to ground myself and make me less talkative and feel more masculine overall.I get more results this way than by self-amusing, but that might be because I have pre-selection in the social circles; it doesn't work so well on day-game. Then again, I have to practice my day-game more, so don't take my advice on this too seriously.

 

[Serenity]

It does not matter how many times you approach or how long you've been gaming if you do the same things that doesn't work every time. Approaching a bunch of women is great as exposure therapy to get over social anxiety, because that's hindering progress in many cases. Approaching and just talking obviously isn't an issue for you, but that's not enough.

You probably need to focus more on quality of interaction than quantity of interactions. You must progress to figuring out how to handle the situation instead of getting into the situation, because that you already seem to master.

Spend just a little time reflecting upon your recent approach(es), look for things you think can potentially be improved and reason out why to yourself. There might not be any big mistakes you're making, but many small ones will count as a big one. That also means that many minor improvements will add up to a major improvement.

Simply altering your superficial behaviors will probably not work, like just talking less or more. Speaking isn't just a matter of quantity, the quality of what comes out of your mouth matters most. You gotta notice how the conversation feels and try taking it in a direction that feels better, pay attention to her interest to see if it goes up or down during conversation. Some things naturally requires saying more and other things doesn't take many words to express.

On that subject you need to figure out how to be engaging in conversation. You gotta build tension, use your words to fire up her emotions. Make her feel like she's watching a thriller. Don't forget to slowly but steadily get closer to her physically and escalate physically in the same manner, this often builds tension like crazy.

Especially for day game this process must often be slow and gradual, maybe first by asking her to join you to a cafe or something like that. Use your talking and maybe physical positioning most, don't insist to yourself on kinoing. Kiss closing can wait until a date. What you'd want is her phone number AND her being excited to give it to you.

Don't make phone game fancy after getting a number, don't wait too long and don't shoot a text immediately. The next day is fine, send something simple like "I enjoyed our time yesterday, you'd like to meet up for more?". Take it from there and plan a date if she responds positively, which not all will no matter your level of game.