I have no idea what this girl wants

[KEddie]

Ok, here's the deal. I have known this girl for about a year now, and
we've become really good friends. We even say that we are BFF's(Best
Friends Forever). I've always been a little attracted to her, but
lately it has become more intense.

Normally, I would have asked her out already, and stayed out of the
friend-zone, but she has a boyfriend. They've been together for about
a year and ahalf or two years, and are living together. I'm also
pretty good friends with her boyfriend too.

Lately, she and I have been hanging out alot, and I am really
beginning to like her alot, and I feel terrible about it. Sometimes I
think she has feelings for me because of things she says/does. Here's a
list of some of the things:

1. One night we were studying, and she asked me out of the blue, "Have
you ever loved someone, but liked someone else?" then she quickly said
after she probably saw a tense look on my face, "don't worry it's not
you." Maybe it's just my wishful thinking, but it seemed kinda like a
test, which I failed if it was.

2. Next we were at a luncheon with our partners, and we were talking,
and she says,"<Name>, I have feelings for you." it seemed kinda
jokingly, but I said, "ok, we'll have to talk this over with your
boyfriend." to which she responded, "oh, I'm only kidding."

3. On that same occasion she kept grabbing at my stomach, and like
baby talking.

So, what do you guys think?

 

[markrt69]

This is a tough one. But actually more simple if you break it down.

1. Her boyfriend is a friend of yours?

2. She flirts with you, but then just says she is kidding?

Sounds to me, like she is having thoughts of being with you . Then those thoughts are quickly dispelled, when she realizes all the crap that will happen.

For, instance, her boyfriend who is a friend of yours, will be pretty pizzed off. At You and at her. She is tempted... but you are to "familiar" meaning that, you are to close to the consequences that will ensue.

Now from your point of view, you have to ask yourself this. Would you want some friend of yours to mack on your girl? Dude there are lots of other women out there. i wouldn't worry about her for several reasons, some of which could benefit you.

1st, I think she just likes to play with fire and then jump back just before she gets burned. Does anyone else see this? She doesn't want the pain of a breakup, and neither do you with you being the CAUSE. But if she is displaying this behavior with you, she is surely doing it with other guys, or will. At some point she is going to get burnt. It will be good that it is not by you...meanwhile..

Meanwhile continue to pursue other women. If and when she gets her ta tas in a ringer, let the ensuing breakup happen, and catch up with her AFTER. If it doesn't ( and there is a chance it won't) Then she is just a attention wh@re anyway.

Bottom line is this. Steer clear of this scene. YOU play hard to get. Let her be the one to get her azz in a jam not you. After the smoke clears, then all is fair. If it never happens, then you are already pursuing other women. My guess is that even if you did score with her or something right now, it would be short lived. IF SHE IS DOING IT TO HIM, SHE WILL DO IT TO YOU! Comprende?

 

[BigDawg]

Originally posted by markrt69

Bottom line is this. Steer clear of this scene. YOU play hard to get. Let her be the one to get her azz in a jam not you. After the smoke clears, then all is fair. If it never happens, then you are already pursuing other women. My guess is that even if you did score with her or something right now, it would be short lived. IF SHE IS DOING IT TO HIM, SHE WILL DO IT TO YOU! Comprende?

I agree. I don't think she knows what she really wants. Who in their right mind would admit to someone that they have feelings for you and then say that they're just kidding. I see two possibilities with that: 1) she IS kidding, and that is just plain cruel. Do you want to be with a woman who is cruel? 2) she ISN'T kidding (although she said she is), in which case she really has a thing for you. But if this is the case, then as Mark points out, she is playing with fire but doesn't want to get burned.

Another observation, and I admit that this one may be a little far fetched is this: if she does have a thing for you, it could be because she is getting bored with her bf and her interest level is starting to dwindle. So, she might be looking at the playing field to see who else is there. If you did get with her, she might like it for a while and then get bored and start looking around again.

Tread carefully. I'd suggest that after her recent comment, you might want to not be too available for a while. Send her the message that you aren't going to be played.


Hmmmm. What took Mark one paragraph to say, I said it in three. I really have to be less verbose.

 

[markrt69]

Doing some more thinking on this.

Like Big Dawg said, I think her interest level is waning for her current BF. She is merely testing the waters.

I know i have been in the EXACT same situation before. It sucked. I wound up being the cause of the breakup. I lost her, I lost a friend, and friends of both of them weren't to crazy about me either. All cuz of a woman.

What is WORSE is what goes around comes around. Meaning I didn't care about my friends, feelings ( it is his girl etc.) and later about a year later, I had someone not care a gal was MY girl. He broke us up cuz he had the hots for her. Maybe he did me a favor? but still ya gotta love Karma.. So i have a rule. SINGLE women are the only ones I prefer! Kick somebody else in the azz, and very likely at some not to distant point it will happen to you that same way....KARMA!!!!!!

seriously, I would just file her in my " women to check on later list" and keep looking!

 

[KEddie]

thanks alot, guys. I had already come up with that, I was just looking for a second opinion.

My plan is to just seek out other girls for now, and wait and see what happens.

 

[KEddie]

Also, I would never do anything while they were still together. I do have a soul. I just wanted to see if other people thought that if she was actually displaying true interest, or just friendly flirting.