I don't understand why I am so unsuccessful with girls. I try but i fail. I have not once succeeded. I have a lot of social proof. I'm friends with essentially all the guys in my school, but for some reason girls hate me. I wouldn't go as far and say i'm a nerd because i'm not. But i study, and try hard. I want to make something of myself when i get older and i realize that this country is going to s*** so i better start early. The only girls i'm friends with are either: the weird stoner goth girls, or the nerdy girls (even they have rejected me a couple times......)
I changed a lot during the summer. I really did. I stopped being the class clown and started being a good student. I stopped being so judgemental and more open. I stopped trying so hard to fit in..... I am a good, "nice" guy. I am smart, and i'm definatly not fat or ugly. But why am i always shot down? I get led on so bad, just to get shot down when i ask. Asking isn't the problem with me, i have confidence.
Girls still think of me as the classclown. They still think of me as that kid. they don't realize that i've changed. It's like they expect me to act one way and i act the complete opposite. They don't really believe that i'm different. I didn't change for them, i changed for myself. I wanted to become a better person, i put religion higher up on my priorities, I started studying harder. I became a better son to my parents...
I just can never amount to what my best friend is... He's everything i am, but everything i'm not. I read this book called a separate peace by john knowles this summer and it really made me reflect on my life. I feel like the character Gene Forrester was based on me and the Phineas was based on my best friend. No matter how hard i try i'll never be the person he is. He doesn't even acknowledge me as a rival. to him i'm his bestfriend, but to me he's my enemy.
What do people see in him over me? Granted he is probably better looking but still. I feel so insufficient compared to him. The only way i can get better with girls is if i come to terms with myself. If i can stop fighting a losing battle.
I'm one of those kids. I'm a kid with so much potential, but whether or not i use it is up to myself. I don't want to see myself fail. No matter what happens i'm going to start being true to myself. I'm going to be a better friend.
I changed a lot during the summer. I really did. I stopped being the class clown and started being a good student. I stopped being so judgemental and more open. I stopped trying so hard to fit in..... I am a good, "nice" guy. I am smart, and i'm definatly not fat or ugly. But why am i always shot down? I get led on so bad, just to get shot down when i ask. Asking isn't the problem with me, i have confidence.
Girls still think of me as the classclown. They still think of me as that kid. they don't realize that i've changed. It's like they expect me to act one way and i act the complete opposite. They don't really believe that i'm different. I didn't change for them, i changed for myself. I wanted to become a better person, i put religion higher up on my priorities, I started studying harder. I became a better son to my parents...
I just can never amount to what my best friend is... He's everything i am, but everything i'm not. I read this book called a separate peace by john knowles this summer and it really made me reflect on my life. I feel like the character Gene Forrester was based on me and the Phineas was based on my best friend. No matter how hard i try i'll never be the person he is. He doesn't even acknowledge me as a rival. to him i'm his bestfriend, but to me he's my enemy.
What do people see in him over me? Granted he is probably better looking but still. I feel so insufficient compared to him. The only way i can get better with girls is if i come to terms with myself. If i can stop fighting a losing battle.
I'm one of those kids. I'm a kid with so much potential, but whether or not i use it is up to myself. I don't want to see myself fail. No matter what happens i'm going to start being true to myself. I'm going to be a better friend.
