I have a situation

[BPH]

Theres a girl...

I made out with her and felt her up a little, we were having a little fun in an out-of-the-way part of our school.

Anyway I get on facebook later and she's upset that I deleted her from friends yesterday.

The day before I deleted her because it said she was in ANOTHER relationship and didn't want to keep seeing that ****, the next morning she explained that it was because there was a girl that kept stalking the guy so she helped him out by saying she was in a relationship on facebook...

ANYHOW, she was upset, I went beta and apologized like an idiot, and she didn't see me to makeout today in school...

So how do I get her back basically? I have plans tomorrow to stay after school and do weight room and she has swim practice so I told her to stay after, but she seems flaky.

Help?

 

[Jenuine]

Not too sure but this is what i would've done:

I wouldn't have told her wait.
I would keep doing me for a while, if she's getting upset over a facebook friend delete, then obv she's immature and when she's done getting over it then she'll come back

In other words, don't stress it, shes just basically... a "makeout" buddy

P.S: that facebook thing sounds like a load of crap if u ask me.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

HERO! As a comment for you - remeber that the human brain does not work like this. If you tell someone not to think of a pink elephant, they will think of a pink elephant. It doesn't accept the don'ts. Tell a guy to not be in his head, and he will be inside his head. However, tell him to be outside his head, then it's a different case. Of course you might have to explain what it means though.

And is this the ex?
Yeah. However you should go for what you want, and I assume you want her. Do what it takes to get her, slam her into the wall and makeout! If it's not possible, then just move on to other chicks you want. Plow plow plow. Now go get 'em tiger!

 

[BPH]

First Mistake: Deleting her from facebook because she was in a relationship. How AFC is that? You got mad because you thought she was in a relationship. If a girl I was making out with changed their relationship status, I wouldn't even give it a second look. You cared too much.

Second Mistake: Like you said "you went beta" and you said sorry. Obvious mistake there but what do you want us to do about it? You can't do something wrong and expect to magically fix it later on. This all comes with experience and a lot of trial & error. Learn from this so you'll know better next time.

Can you please stop "helping" me? If you think it's AFC that I removed her from facebook you don't know what you're talking about. By removing her I removed negativity, having to see that she's in a new relationship so often when I'm still into her, cutting her loose, not getting angry and upset...

Alright Norweigan, thanks I'll try that after I isolate her

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Can you please stop "helping" me? If you think it's AFC that I removed her from facebook you don't know what you're talking about. By removing her I removed negativity, having to see that she's in a new relationship so often when I'm still into her, cutting her loose, not getting angry and upset...

Alright Norweigan, thanks I'll try that after I isolate her

Nah dude, DJ_Hero certainly knows what he is talking about. He just doesn't put in nice words like me, and focuses more on the negative aspect of it. It is important too.
As for your facebook thingy, I wouldn't have deleted her either. I would have waited a few days, then I might've hidden her updates from my news feed. I understand the no contact thing; it is important, but it has it's applicable situations.
Also, I can tell that you are not taking as much action as you want, go DO.

 

[BPH]

Well I tried your slam her into a wall and makeout thing...

I hugged her when I saw her in the morning and started walking with her to a makeout spot we had

She starts resisting and saying stop, so after a little extra trying I do and she says "not in school" (which never stopped her before...) so I say "what's your deal?" to which she replied "I don't know, I'm crazy like that"

So she hugs me and I ask "ok when?" and she pauses to think for a moment then says "one of these days" and walks back to class...

I'll leave this open to reply rather than ask my obvious questions

 

[jtlancer]

You are letting her control things still. Don't ask. Tell.
Girls don't want to think (of an answer, a place to makeout, what
they want for dinner, etc). If you let them then you are at
their mercy and you already know what happens with that.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Well I tried your slam her into a wall and makeout thing...

I hugged her when I saw her in the morning and started walking with her to a makeout spot we had

She starts resisting and saying stop, so after a little extra trying I do and she says "not in school" (which never stopped her before...) so I say "what's your deal?" to which she replied "I don't know, I'm crazy like that"

So she hugs me and I ask "ok when?" and she pauses to think for a moment then says "one of these days" and walks back to class...

I'll leave this open to reply rather than ask my obvious questions

You saved yourself a lot of time, I was expecting you to ***** out. Very well done, you deserve it. So she might be a no-goer. Girls tend to say maybe instead of no. However, persistance never hurt nobody, but don't get needy. Tell her that you are going to *a place, or your place* *this* day. Keep a fun vibe with her, and pretend like nothing has happened. Have fun and basicly almost escalate like you would have if you didn't know her that well. Keep it simple.

 

[BPH]

What I was thinking was that I wouldn't interact with her unless she came up to me tomorrow. And on the weekend I would text her and see if SHE WANTS to chill, if not, then it's a no-go.

How does that sound?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I would just be fun and friendly if I met her. Pretend like nothing happened.
And dont ask, just assume.

 

[BPH]

Well I mean would that be something to do or should I remain cold turket for a little longer?

 

[BPH]

Uhh guys, this isn't resolved yet

 

[MrP]

If she's still giving you $hit, you gotta next her.
She might come back, she might not.

 

[BPH]

DJ Hero go **** yourself

 

[E_Sex]

DJ Hero is right, do you know what this is?
You sir, have oneitis and if you want help on how to fix that you can get advice here, but don't come in here tryna get step by step answers. You're not even being you by doing so, you have to do what the fvck you wanna do as a DJ. And the best thing you can do to better yourself in this situation IMO is to go no contact. She'll come back or she won't you won't get rid of this oneitis if you don't taste the different flavors out there!

 

[BPH]

Alright

 

[888]

dude...

you totally f-ed up by getting a little too aggressive and escalating too quickly. You just can't go from hugging to intense hooking up; you skipped a lot of steps on the kino ladder there, which means she is obviously going to get uncomfortable and push you away. When she says "not now," a push, don't try to pull by asking "then when?," the appropriate response would have been for you to push as well, with something like "haha whatevs, your loss" or "yeah, i'm not really feeling it today," and to do a takeaway by walking back to class first. Once a girl actually resists your advances, you can't argue your way back; you have to realize that in that situation, you have more to lose by trying to convince her to continue that by just walking away and maintaining frame.

Even if she is the first one to bring up the fact that she doesn't want to, you can't play into her hand; you've got to make it known that you're the one calling the shots, not her, and the reason that you two AREN'T hooking up isn't because she doesn't want to, but because you don't.

when she says that "one of these days" you'll hook up again, it's a pretty clear sign that she thinks she has you wrapped around her finger, which you never ever ever EVER want.

keep her on the backburner, but don't ignore her entirely because that will make you seem really sulky and immature. just focus your energies on other girls until she stops being a b*tch; by then you'll either have your hookup buddy come crawling back, or you'll have other girls in your lineup.


actually, you should always have other girls lined up; what one girl does or says shouldn't matter a whole lot to you.

EDIT: going no contact makes you look like you got hurt but don't want to admit it, never do that. gauge her mood and her interest; if she comes back to you with that superior attitude again, playfully shut her down but make sure she knows that you're not going to put up with her sh*t. But if she starts talking to you showing high interest, don't brood and ignore her for no reason - take advantage of her interest, and get back to gaming her. you should never do anything that implies to a girl that what her actions influence you in any way; NCing is just as obvious a sign of interest as being overly clingy. just do your thing

EDIT #2: and stop with that hugging sh*t, it makes you look soft. if she's a FWB, keep it strictly sexual

 

[Little Panda]

No actually, BPH is right. Dj Hero can go **** himself. This is a goddamn forum for the ones in need.

If you don't have anything helpful to say and if you only write here to insult people - then you are the one who doesn't belong here.

@ BPH:
It's time that you gave her some space. She is clearly backing off because you upset her. Not only over the Facebook thing, but also because you started acting a bit too aggressive by the end there. She is in defence-mode right now and all you can do is give her space, and then re-initiate in 2 weeks or so.

Classic freeze-out method, really.

 

[BPH]

Thank you Little Panda, for both opinions

Well I talked to her today and she told me she doesn't feel the same way about my anymore. So I pretty much just told her I'll see her around

In other news I got a cute new girl's number, she's attractive but I don't know if I would do her