I just realised this after thinking about myself for a bit.
Maybe some of you will know what I'm talking about: I do fine with most people, but with those whom I perceive as being more qualified or having more authority - whatever the matter may be - I start to become submissive, giving in too easily, not defending my views enough etc. Might be someone who appears more knowledgeable about a topic (or all topics, as they often do...). Might be a co-worker or boss.
I had a friend who always sounded sure of himself, appeared to know everything about the topic being discussed. I would mostly give in, even when I was fairly sure I was right. Sometimes there wasn't even anything to be right about, just opinions being discussed, yet somehow he'd try to get everyone (or me) to accept his point of view.
This seems to happen mostly with people I perceive as being more successful in ways I'd like to be successful as well - life, work, women. This seemed to be the case with this friend of mine. He'd never think about things a lot, just went ahead and did them. Seemed to be successful. When you looked at it closely though (which took me ages), he was struggling at university because he would constantly party, drink, smoke and, yes, get laid. A lot if not most of the things he went on about he didn't know 10% of what he appeared to know.
Meanwhile I'm doing very well at university, getting top grades, I speak three languages fluently, have traveled the world more, I have nothing to feel inferior about except that he seems to get through life with a lot less effort and thinking. And doing better with women.
Another example is that in restaurants, when there's something wrong with my food, I'll be embarrassed to complain, or just complaining in general when I believe there's something wrong.
I thought about it - and here comes amateur keyboard psychology, this is just my wild guess - and a factor might be that my dad was an extremely dominant figure in my childhood, there'd be his way and no other, complaints were not accepted, he always knew everything better (he still tries to argue about physics with me - I'm getting my diploma in a few months), etc.
I wonder if anyone else recognizes themselves in this? Or their old self? Input, thoughts, advice would be welcome.
Maybe some of you will know what I'm talking about: I do fine with most people, but with those whom I perceive as being more qualified or having more authority - whatever the matter may be - I start to become submissive, giving in too easily, not defending my views enough etc. Might be someone who appears more knowledgeable about a topic (or all topics, as they often do...). Might be a co-worker or boss.
I had a friend who always sounded sure of himself, appeared to know everything about the topic being discussed. I would mostly give in, even when I was fairly sure I was right. Sometimes there wasn't even anything to be right about, just opinions being discussed, yet somehow he'd try to get everyone (or me) to accept his point of view.
This seems to happen mostly with people I perceive as being more successful in ways I'd like to be successful as well - life, work, women. This seemed to be the case with this friend of mine. He'd never think about things a lot, just went ahead and did them. Seemed to be successful. When you looked at it closely though (which took me ages), he was struggling at university because he would constantly party, drink, smoke and, yes, get laid. A lot if not most of the things he went on about he didn't know 10% of what he appeared to know.
Meanwhile I'm doing very well at university, getting top grades, I speak three languages fluently, have traveled the world more, I have nothing to feel inferior about except that he seems to get through life with a lot less effort and thinking. And doing better with women.
Another example is that in restaurants, when there's something wrong with my food, I'll be embarrassed to complain, or just complaining in general when I believe there's something wrong.
I thought about it - and here comes amateur keyboard psychology, this is just my wild guess - and a factor might be that my dad was an extremely dominant figure in my childhood, there'd be his way and no other, complaints were not accepted, he always knew everything better (he still tries to argue about physics with me - I'm getting my diploma in a few months), etc.
I wonder if anyone else recognizes themselves in this? Or their old self? Input, thoughts, advice would be welcome.
