I have a problem...I keep next'ing myself.

[Genos]

Funnily enough, I think this is a problem that arose because I've reading the forum so much.

Lately, I've become extremely self-aware - more in tune with social interactions, with what people are saying around me, and the dynamics between myself and other people, and between other people. Becoming more self-aware has allowed me to pinpoint my own mistakes, and that's great. I always have something to reflect on after every interaction, focusing on what I could've done better.

But whenever I make a significant mistake, e.g. tell a corny/lame joke, appear awkward or don't make a good impression, or fail a **** test (can't respond quickly, or give a lame comeback), I totally just dismiss the girl, as I feel like I've lost my shot with her. I realized I had this problem after one particular occasion a couple days ago, when I had a bit of an awkward exchange with a girl I was getting to know. I actually just straight up deleted her number because I thought she was uninterested and that I had screwed up my chances.

In general, I feel like I'm NEXT'ing too quickly. For girls who don't immediately show interest in me, or those which showed some interest but I didn't run perfect game on, I just dismiss them. This is good in a way, because I haven't been hurt yet - I haven't built up any unreasonable expectations and had them come crashing down on me (because of rejection, or me misunderstanding her interest level etc.). But I haven't had the success with women that I want either, and I'm wondering whether I've been stopping too early.

Any thoughts, or opinions?

 

[Aware]

It's a form of ego defense. Feelings of guilt and shame appear after making a mistake to make us avoid such situations again.

However, those who are highly aware may not agree with their own minds (with their Freudian super-ego) and may see mistakes as opportunities to learn at rapid rate.

Putting psychology aside, yes, you have been stopping too early.

 

[Soolaimon]

Be careful what you read in the forum or who you take advice from.

Too many guys don't understand women or what they are talking about themselves.

The only way you should next a woman is when it's totally clear she has no interest or she has no respect for you.

One awkward exchange isn't enough of a reason to next when the woman might be awkward herself.

Don't automatically next until she shows no interest at all.

Women have short attention spans and some don't even pick up on mistakes.

So keep plugging away.

If I were you I wouldn't next any woman at this time.

This will be a good experience for you to learn how to get better with women in different situations.

Then you will know what mistakes not to make again or how to correct what you did wrong to make it better the next time.

It's all about learning and right now use these women to learn so you can be good with the women you really want later on.

Then you will have good success with them

Good luck!