"I have a boyfriend." How do you respond?

[solo1]

Regardless if she says this, you cant tell if she's lying or not. if she does, then it's not really worth pursuing. If she's lying then her IL isnt high enough.

I know it's very understated here on this site, but usually how would a guy respond if he were to set up a date and get this response?

you: "lets get together this week, what's your #?"
her: "oh sorry i have a bf."

 

[Alphathree]

You haven't posed the question very well. I've personally never had a girl tell me this but I have a theory about why you guys seem to get this line so much.

Basically, you're pushing the envelope and asking her out too early. You can't come on too strong or they'll think you're nuts.

Never ask a girl to hang out with you unless you know you have some attraction. She'll TELL YOU she wants to hang out, you just have to listen for the signs.

Actually, most of the time nowadays, girls ask me out, although I'll occasionally ask them out, especially if I cancelled on them and I'm still interested.

 

[solo1]

Personally this has never happened to me before. I do agree to watch for signs to measure their interest before asking them out.
But im sure somewhere down the line, it will happen at least once in your lifetime. Cause there are plenty of girls out there who are equally willing to cheat on their bf.

But hey, it's better to be prepared to respond than appear dumbfounded.

 

[TheTrimReaper]

If they say they have a boyfriend, always next them, unless you want to use them for social proof or pivots. If their IL for you is high enough, they won't tell you they have a boyfriend even if they do.

Several girls I've flirted with had roommates initially. Then after I got bored by them and stopped the flirting, the roommates somehow magically became boyfriends.

 

[BobbyJ]

A simple and easy response to the BF phrase is:

"Oh, that's too bad...for you."

And then you can ask if she has any hot single friends that she could introduce to you.

BobbyJ

 

[Mr. Cardio]

first be the dominant male, always.........

if you are not, you will get this response from the ugliest of women as well as the best looking ones.

Once you are the dominant male, and you get something like this, just move on.....dude, you are teh dominant male, you have girls in this entire room checking you out, NEXT....hey you, whats up, lets get together this week, whats your number...

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by Alphathree
You haven't posed the question very well. I've personally never had a girl tell me this but I have a theory about why you guys seem to get this line so much.

Basically, you're pushing the envelope and asking her out too early. You can't come on too strong or they'll think you're nuts.

Never ask a girl to hang out with you unless you know you have some attraction. She'll TELL YOU she wants to hang out, you just have to listen for the signs.

Actually, most of the time nowadays, girls ask me out, although I'll occasionally ask them out, especially if I cancelled on them and I'm still interested.

I agree completely. If you just put a girl on the spot, she'll probably play it safe, which means you get a brush off. I also agree that girls will drop hints if they're interested and you should be able to pick up on them.

Anyway, if she uses the boyfriend line, whether it's true or not, it's a brush off I'm afraid. Don't get resentful or try to be a wiseass with her, have some dignity, move on and forget her.

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by solo1

you: "lets get together this week, what's your #?"
her: "oh sorry i have a bf."

me : ' oh yeah ? when are you guys getting married ? '

her : ' it's not that serious ...... '

me : ' a phone # wouldn't cause havoc would it ? '

her : ' her is my # '

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by solo1
Regardless if she says this, you cant tell if she's lying or not. if she does, then it's not really worth pursuing. If she's lying then her IL isnt high enough.

I know it's very understated here on this site, but usually how would a guy respond if he were to set up a date and get this response?

you: "lets get together this week, what's your #?"
her: "oh sorry i have a bf."

Two problems. The first is the approach. Second is the BF problem.

Here's how this should play:

You: "We should get together this week. I'm headed to the burn ward at the hospital for some volunteer work on Wednesday and the Tractor Pull on Thursday. The tractor pull is going to be amazing because Grave Digger is making a comeback! Which one do you want to go to?"
Her: "Oh, sorry. I have a boyfriend."
You: "Well, he's definitely not invited. I bet he's not even a Grave Digger fan and has no feelings for burned children." *Smile* *Pause* "So, Thursday or Wednesday?" *Hold out pen and paper.*

Note: Never ask for the number. Just make it required.

 

[JH6]

Re: Re: "I have a boyfriend." How do you respond?

Originally posted by Tkman
me : ' oh yeah ? when are you guys getting married ? '

her : ' it's not that serious ...... '

me : ' a phone # wouldn't cause havoc would it ? '

her : ' her is my # '

I like that first line alot dude. I'll use that one alot, thanks.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

"I'm having sex with your mother"

 

[Marlimus]

We focus too much on theory here. My experience has been that for every hot chick who has a boyfriend, there are at least two other nearby that are hotter, and single. The Tao flows along the path of least resistance. Why bother with a girl who has a BF is she's nothing special to you? Your time and your energy is valuable. Do not waste it on attention *****s, *****es, and unavailable women.

 

[Jariel]

Or you could do what I've done with 3 girls this year, place them in the friendzone, hang out with them as friends, let them see how great you are and watch them ditch their boyfriends for you.

Sounds good, but 2 out of those 3 went back to their boyfriends after a brief fling with me. The third is still in my friendzone and is going crazy for me. I'm giving it more time.

 

[BrotherAP]

This is horrible, but...

In the last few weeks I've hooked up with two different girls who have given me the "I have a boyfriend line." After dealing with these girls I can only imagine how many guys have been cheated on.

Girl A says, in the car on the way to my house, "You know, if I do sleep with you tonight, you should know that I have a boyfriend and I'm a bit conflicted about whether or not I should" I just looked at her and shrugged and kept driving. Later, she said she didn't feel bad because "Everyone gets one ****up, and he already cheated on me". She dumped her boyfriend a week after sleeping with me.

Girl B is an ex-girlfriend who I have avoided for months since we broke up. I was determined never to give her a second chance, but last night I happened to run into her roommate, then her best friend, and after enough talking about her I decided I would drunk dial her for a booty call (a horrible idea, in retrospect. I was drunk and didn't care at the time though).

I said "Hey, come over. Let's hook up"
She replies "What? Are you serious?"
"yeah"
"But I have a boyfriend"
"So what. Just come over"
"You're not playin with me?"
"You comin or not?"
"Ok! But don't tell anyone!"


So, in short I've only gotten the "I have a boyfriend" line from girls that were attracted to me but resisting because of the boyfriend, and in both cases my lack of cocern over the topic was all it took to convince them.

 

[seanchai]

"That's cool. I don't discriminate against girls with boyfriends, because I don't believe in discrimination." Couple more minutes of high octane chit-chat, try again.

 

[LowPlainsDrifter]

Hmmm... how about these:

1. (Assuming you asked her to coffee or lunch) "It's coffee, not courtship."

2. "Great! Then why not start a collection?"

3. "I asked you yes or no. That's not a yes or a no."

 

[Warrior Princess]

You know, some guys are just really pathetic. Like this one dude who keeps setting up dates with me even though I've already told him that I have a boyfriend (not really).

If the girl was really interested in you even if she has a boyfriend, she wouldn't be saying "I have a boyfriend in the first place. Think about it.

....unless she's a cheating "ho"

" ' oh yeah ? when are you guys getting married ? ' " :crackup: I cracked up when someone told me this.

 

[[o_0]]

i always answwr 'but you dont have huseband'. and i et #

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by Warrior Princess
You know, some guys are just really pathetic. Like this one dude who keeps setting up dates with me even though I've already told him that I have a boyfriend (not really).

Well then that's you who's pathetic, really. Rather than just tell the guy you aren't interested (at which point if he's not a total moron you'll never hear from him again) you lie to him. Then you whine that he doesn't "get the message." Ugh.

He's only doing what he is programed to do. Trying to attract women. You keep the door open. Granted, it's only open a crack, but its open. You should be flattered. He's willing to brave the uncharted waters of "boyfriendland" to try and date you. He hasn't even seen this guy. Your boyfriend could be 6'5", 290 and work for the FBI and thus go around armed all the time for all he knows. That takes balls.

Instead you feed him a line to make it easy on yourself because you have a problem being straight and rejecting guys.

And girls wonder why guys have to play games. Sheesh.

If the girl was really interested in you even if she has a boyfriend, she wouldn't be saying "I have a boyfriend in the first place. Think about it.

Except you. Who's lying totally about the whole thing. You set up a standard where you never give a guy the deal straight up and then whine because they don't listen to your bull**** and act the way you like. Of course they don't. You've taught them not to by lying on a regular basis.

....unless she's a cheating "ho"

" ' oh yeah ? when are you guys getting married ? ' " :crackup: I cracked up when someone told me this.

All the more so since you were full of $hit when you told him you had a boyfriend.

That has me cracking up too.

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by Marlimus
We focus too much on theory here. My experience has been that for every hot chick who has a boyfriend, there are at least two other nearby that are hotter, and single. The Tao flows along the path of least resistance.

The path of least resistance is often the path of most desperate women.

Why bother with a girl who has a BF is she's nothing special to you? Your time and your energy is valuable. Do not waste it on attention *****s, *****es, and unavailable women.

But by the same token, never be scared off by the boyfriend noise. It's often that, noise.